A Thankyou Letter to Punters (sex buyers) [View all]

[redqueen]

http://secretdiaryofadublincallgirl.wordpress.com/2012/02/02/a-thankyou-letter-to-punters/

I would like to say a big Thankyou. Thankyou for being part of my life, thankyou for helping me become the person I am today. Thankyou for making me be the strongest bitch that ever lived. It is only because of experiences with you, that I am the invincible person I am today. Thankyou for the array of experiences that have helped mould me into being a compassionate, empathetic, kind and understanding person. Thankyou for showing me what exploitation is, so that I know it, have felt it, and can now quickly recognise it. Thankyou for showing me was escort sex is like, so that I can appreciate normal sex much much more. Thankyou for showing me what sex as an object with holes is like, so I am now so grateful to have sex with someone who wants to have sex with me, my whole person, not just my vagina or mouth. Thankyou for showing me was skullfucking is, and what facefucking is, so that I can never ever do those acts again. Thankyou for showing me the difference between coercion and willingly wanting to please someone because you love them, not because you’re being paid to do it. Thankyou for showing me what true vulnerability is like, you gave me empathy.

Thankyou to all those men who said ‘You don’t look like the type of girl who normally does this’ for highlighting the objectification and commodification of women that is the meat of the sex industry. Thanks for being so obvious that I don’t fit in to your pre conceived notions on what a hooker looks/acts like (ie, not Irish anyway). Thanks for making me self conscious and ashamed of my naivite, my womaness, my Irishness. Now I am able look back on my younger self with love and compassion.

Thankyou to that one punter, for throwing the money on the ground so that I would have to get on the floor to pick it up. Now that I know what it was like to be on the floor, I’m never going back there. Thankyou for making me hate you, now, finally, for treating me badly enough to hate you with a certain type of anger that isn’t self destructive, but constructive. I am going to tell the world what shit heads you are for the rest of my life. Thankyou for giving me the ammunition to do that. To the ones that were kind to me, thankyou for showing me kindness and humanity even if it is like being a friendly mugger. To the two punters that I convinced to stop punting; thankyou for showing me that people can make mistakes, and can change. Thankyou for giving me a little bit of faith in men and humanity. Thankyou for treating me like a human being and listening to me. Thankyou for giving me nothing to fear.

Every time you came into my home and didn’t smile at me, didn’t even say hello, you made it more difficult for me to service you. Every time you opened your door and looked me up and down, unsmiling and unwelcoming, you made me panic. You scared me. You frightened me. I didn’t know if you were going to hurt me or not. (It’ll be over in an hour. It’ll be over in an hour. It’ll be over in an hour. It’ll be over in an hour). Every time you ordered me into a position, you made my soul shrink a little bit more. Every time you made a weird little remark about some part of my body, every time you clucked approvingly, every time you sighed when I didn’t want to do something, you made me feel that bit less powerful, that bit more submissive, that bit more devalued.
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