Milwaukee: Pair of men with concealed-carry permits engage in shootout

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19. Whoa! So cool! Who doesn't secretly yearn for a more exciting America,

where any of us driving home Friday night could enjoy the spectacle of a high-speed freeway shoot, with bullets whizzing back and forth between cars, steam pouring from perforated radiators, shards of glass flying from shot-out windows, rubber peeling from flabby deflated tires, and the drivers distractedly trying to check the road while taking cold-blooded aim at one another?

Sure, the nervous nellies wring their hands and moan about innocent bystanders, but honestly! is anyone really innocent?

This is just good clean fun in the classic American tradition of cow-pokes shouting and shooting as they come to town or leave town. Yeah, a few lanterns wuz shot out, causing a fire that burned down the church, and the preacher is upset cuz his horse got spooked and ran off and broke its leg in a gopher hole and had to be put down, but he's always grumpy. And everybody is naturally sad that pretty young whore took a bullet in the eye when she looked out her window to see what was happening, but the undertaker sure dolled her up nice for display in his parlor window, and everybody came to give her a proper goodbye. It's silly to get all bent about it -- just some boys having fun