Court orders mother to hand over nursing infant to father on weekends

[laundry_queen]

59. Exactly. I had a good friend who had twins

the father took off the minute he heard she was pregnant, but she pursued child support, so he went for custody (forcing her to go through paternity testing b/c he didn't believe the kids were his). The courts decided no overnight visits till they were weaned, as she was breastfeeding both. The father took them 3 evenings/week and every other Saturday, till they were weaned at 20 months. He was very involved despite not having overnight visits. And they started slow with overnight visits - once they were weaned, he took them once a month for a few months, then twice a month...he started to only take them 1-2 evenings/week so he could have more weekends when they were 3. To me, that makes the most sense. When they were 4, he was able to take them for a week in the summer, and when my friend got remarried, he took the boys for the 2 weeks my friend was on her honeymoon. To me, that is cooperative parenting.

I have other friends were the ex fought to get 50/50 despite not having a darn thing to do with the child when they were together, just to avoid paying child support. I think that's dirty. Thankfully my ex is completely disinterested in having the kids for any length of time - he rarely sees them. I still resented having my then-3 year old gone for a week - it was hard on me and on her. She was clingy and whiny for weeks afterwards, as she's not close with him (as I said, he visits them rarely - once a month on average) and a week was too long. But not much I can do, and I don't fight it because I get the kids 95% of the time. I know I'm lucky too, but if my ex would've tried for 50/50 it would've been dirty, as he never helped out with the kids when we were together. My oldest dd has changed more diapers than he has. From what I understand, the courts take into consideration the percentage of care each parent has given and dishes out custody accordingly - usually. Of course sometimes it just comes down to who has more money and the better lawyer - and that often isn't the mother, unfortunately.