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ConcernedCanuk

(13,509 posts)

278. A little more information to ponder

Reply to The Straight Story (Original post)

Sun Jul 21, 2013, 08:28 AM

Jul 2013

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http://www.pregnancyandbaby.com/baby/articles/966845/breastfed-infant-stays-home-when-mom-thwarts-court-order

Moms everywhere are siding with Tamara. “Four months is too young!” said Kimmy, mom of three. “The judge in my older sister's divorce decided she didn't have to send her son on overnights with his father until 15 months because of breastfeeding.”

Christine, mom of one, agreed. “This is garbage,” she told us. “I would do what she did too.”

Attachment issues
There is also the factor of attachment, and how nighttime separation can be detrimental to a baby in the first year of life. The popular breastfeeding advocacy Facebook page Unlatched recently posted about a new study out of the University of Virginia that researched the effects of separation on infants. The study’s lead author, Samantha Tornello, is a Ph.D. candidate in psychology in U.Va.’s Graduate School of Arts & Sciences. She said, “Judges often find themselves making decisions regarding custody without knowing what actually may be in the best interest of the child, based on psychology research. Our study raises the question, ‘Would babies be better off spending their overnights with a single caregiver, or at least less frequently in another home?’”

The research found that infants who spent at least one night a week away from their mothers developed attachment issues when compared to babies who had fewer overnight visits or who saw the other parent during the day. They also found that it became less of an issue when children were toddlers and preschoolers.

What the future holds
Tamara’s lawyer is launching an appeal on the access order, and a lawyer local to Tamara who isn’t involved in the case has expressed shock that the court wasn’t more accommodating, stating the outcome was rare indeed.

http://www.pregnancyandbaby.com/baby/articles/966845/breastfed-infant-stays-home-when-mom-thwarts-court-order

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Court orders mother to hand over nursing infant to father on weekends [View all] The Straight Story Jul 2013 OP

If she goes to jail, I don't think they let her bring the baby with her. hughee99 Jul 2013 #1

She'll keep Breast Feeding the kid for 2 or 3 years to keep him from the father FreakinDJ Jul 2013 #73

I suspect this is more about custody than breast feeding, too, hughee99 Jul 2013 #74

I suspect you're correct. Warpy Jul 2013 #361

She apparently hates the father more than she loves the child. nt. Mariana Jul 2013 #81

Like it or not, she's going to HappyMe Jul 2013 #2

You're sure she can? I know lots of women who had trouble with pumping, pnwmom Jul 2013 #16

No, I'm not sure. HappyMe Jul 2013 #21

He's clearly using the baby as a pawn pnwmom Jul 2013 #38

If that's what you want to think. HappyMe Jul 2013 #42

I agree with you. There's a lotta hate happening there, I suspect. MADem Jul 2013 #61

The mom is refusing to hand over the 2-yr old as well NickB79 Jul 2013 #63

She's risking contempt of court on the 2 year old. roamer65 Jul 2013 #100

no clarity that she refuses to hand over the 2yr old handmade34 Jul 2013 #167

Well I can tell you am a big breasted woman and I had an extremely hard time southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #68

My wife is also well-endowed NickB79 Jul 2013 #69

Well go figure, LOL. I wonder why we are cursed that way. southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #71

Not necessarily. phylny Jul 2013 #108

And no mother should deprive the father from taking care of his baby either. southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #123

So sorry for your son's experience. phylny Jul 2013 #130

You think the father would put his child in a precarious position? I commend him for southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #138

I don't know this father. phylny Jul 2013 #194

we don't really know that. all we are getting is her side of the story. believe me I have seen the southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #275

Really - they breastfed? Ms. Toad Jul 2013 #400

Was your daughter-in-law breastfeeding her four month old full time? pnwmom Jul 2013 #213

At this point it's more important that the baby continue to breastfeed. Arugula Latte Jul 2013 #233

Totally agree. One of mine was the mule Phentex Jul 2013 #370

You had trouble breastfeeding, so your comment that "the mother can put her breast milk pnwmom Jul 2013 #121

Well just remember one thing when it comes to parents. There is her side, southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #127

But in this case, xmas74 Jul 2013 #218

I don't buy it. Men can and have raised their infants even when mothers die god forbid. southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #274

Nothing to do with stereotyping - Ms. Toad Jul 2013 #403

People can divorce and still have enough civility defacto7 Jul 2013 #221

no kidding. cali Jul 2013 #271

I can't argue that point. I agree. On the other hand what if the mother had died? That southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #277

But we can see the best course of action for the baby, and that's to continue to be with the mom now Arugula Latte Jul 2013 #234

there is more to this story then we are getting. I don't believe that. Before I believe it southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #276

Why? Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #356

The baby's health. Arugula Latte Jul 2013 #357

While I don't doubt the benefits of breastfeeding in shoring up the immune system of infants... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #359

Alternatives do not always exist Ms. Toad Jul 2013 #404

It is indisputable that the infant is only four months old. pnwmom Jul 2013 #350

Uhm, hate to ask the obvious, but if that's true, doesn't that mean... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #354

That's the opposite of what orphanage and adoption studies show. Experiences before pnwmom Jul 2013 #360

" I don't think this father has the best interest of the nursing baby in mind." opiate69 Jul 2013 #131

Some breastfed babies will not go to sleep without nursing womanofthehills Jul 2013 #295

yes I understand that. All am saying in this case we don't know everything. southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #300

I'm small breasted Maine-ah Jul 2013 #325

Well I big busted and I couldn't get anything out. But I swear I had a friend who was small southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #328

My kids didn't like bottle. Only wanted to breast feed. It is possible as a problem. ejpoeta Jul 2013 #366

agree. I had a hard time from the beginning. Every time my son latched on it hurt southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #369

It was very painful for sure at times. I got some cream to help. My oldest I dried up ejpoeta Jul 2013 #372

I think it is neat if you can switch like that. southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #424

And you don't think that influences Ms. Toad Jul 2013 #405

Breasting feeding is a personal thing. I never had a daughter but if she said she wanted southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #423

My mother would have said she was not discouraging me - Ms. Toad Jul 2013 #429

Well maybe I wasn't aware I was doing it. southernyankeebelle Jul 2013 #430

My daughter refused to take a bottle. Ms. Toad Jul 2013 #399

Same here. Boudica the Lyoness Jul 2013 #200

I couldn't. xmas74 Jul 2013 #217

pump and freeze, don't dump. Maine-ah Jul 2013 #324

I work 10-12 hours away from my baby and pump 2-3 times during then Nikia Jul 2013 #393

Man, I'm really conflicted on this NickB79 Jul 2013 #3

It's false that a 4 month old has already gotten most of the benefits. The AAP recommends pnwmom Jul 2013 #15

Not sure he can shawn703 Jul 2013 #20

That isn't the custody agreement. HappyMe Jul 2013 #22

He's working 24/5? pnwmom Jul 2013 #35

Not everyone works 9am-5pm jobs NickB79 Jul 2013 #46

Oh FFS. HappyMe Jul 2013 #50

You are giving misleading information NickB79 Jul 2013 #26

You said MOST of the benefit was by the age of 4 months and that's false. pnwmom Jul 2013 #39

True, but that still doesn't support the mother's claim to the court NickB79 Jul 2013 #53

Formula feeding is not the "current standard" for raising a child. pnwmom Jul 2013 #122

in article... handmade34 Jul 2013 #169

Not nursing over the weekends could seriously compromise her milk supply too Bettie Jul 2013 #208

Read the story ceonupe Jul 2013 #133

Ah, the tender understanding of a judge SheilaT Jul 2013 #4

Caused my daughter no end of anguish to have to do that Hekate Jul 2013 #5

Yep. laundry_queen Jul 2013 #8

+10 RC Jul 2013 #31

Exactly. I had a good friend who had twins laundry_queen Jul 2013 #59

Post removed Post removed Jul 2013 #88

Explain that rude comment. Please. nt laundry_queen Jul 2013 #134

EarlG has shown the poster the door for misogyny! Spazito Jul 2013 #296

If fathers cared they wouldn't try to see their kids Union Scribe Jul 2013 #152

That's not what I said laundry_queen Jul 2013 #170

Some exes can be real asses. Unfortunately, there are times when avebury Jul 2013 #11

So basically you are saying fathers have rights, but certainly not equal rights of access... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #304

Not what I said at all. Anyone, male or female, who can't distinguish between the needs of ... Hekate Jul 2013 #316

What needs do infants under 2 years of age need that can't be fulfilled by a father as easily as... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #318

Well this one can, so she should be allowed to continue. Arugula Latte Jul 2013 #321

But would two days out of the week of bottle feeding be that traumatic? Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #322

Yes - two days would be detrimental MrsMatt Jul 2013 #338

I'm talking about detrimental to the infant, not the mother... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #341

It doesn't - Ms. Toad Jul 2013 #406

You don't think it's detrimental to the infant who is being breastfeed to suddenly be removed womanofthehills Jul 2013 #409

She is selfish. Has it not occurred to her that she also would need avebury Jul 2013 #6

You've tried this arrangement, have you? Hekate Jul 2013 #7

I have not but I have worked with woman avebury Jul 2013 #19

Some women can and some can't gollygee Jul 2013 #24

There are milk banks that women use. Drahthaardogs Jul 2013 #128

And you have to almost empty your 401(k) Ilsa Jul 2013 #282

It happened pipi_k Jul 2013 #37

One of my good friends was lucky that her husband avebury Jul 2013 #45

Your good friend "had" to give up breastfeeding earlier than she had planned. pnwmom Jul 2013 #47

I'm going out on a limb here. I understand breast feeding is the best but... Democrat 4 Ever Jul 2013 #286

+1 - family dynamics have changed and breast feeding may not be viable - they should goto leftyohiolib Jul 2013 #312

In infancy, what the baby needs more than anything else is consistent, daily time with pnwmom Jul 2013 #320

Basically you are saying that working parents are psychologically damaging their children... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #331

No, I didn't say that. I said that infants need daily care "at least part time" pnwmom Jul 2013 #349

OK, sometimes it was his mom, other times his dad... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #353

I think your family sounds like a wonderful example pnwmom Jul 2013 #358

My mom couldn't take care of me for several months of the first year of my life... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #367

I have some books about borderline personality disorder pnwmom Jul 2013 #374

I'm a mother Dorian Gray Jul 2013 #67

Who says she us trying to interfere with bonding? vanlassie Jul 2013 #111

+1 nt laundry_queen Jul 2013 #137

The two parents aren't allowed to have contact with each other. Mariana Jul 2013 #212

Now why do you think he is prohibited? vanlassie Jul 2013 #225

Maybe he threatened the mother. Mariana Jul 2013 #352

Because of innappropriate parental behavior. vanlassie Jul 2013 #363

I'd like to know how much visitation time Mariana Jul 2013 #368

Agree all the way. vanlassie Jul 2013 #384

You know nothing about breastfeeding or pumping. Millions of women do NOT pnwmom Jul 2013 #12

Precisely!! n/t Small Accumulates Jul 2013 #14

There have been several women at work who avebury Jul 2013 #28

All mammals nurse their young. Human babies don't even get their baby teeth till they're 6 or 7 pnwmom Jul 2013 #33

So true laundry_queen Jul 2013 #172

I know. And pumping by itself is much harder than nursing. n/t pnwmom Jul 2013 #177

I used to get plugged ducts when I pumped. nt laundry_queen Jul 2013 #184

Me, too. And infections. n/t pnwmom Jul 2013 #215

Did you not see this part of the story? Arugula Latte Jul 2013 #235

I also saw this part of the story. Mariana Jul 2013 #256

I saw that more as her trying to convey how strongly she felt about it. Arugula Latte Jul 2013 #319

Felt about what? I'm assuming denying the father his parental rights? Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #333

No. Ms. Toad Jul 2013 #431

Exactly! pipi_k Jul 2013 #327

Separation anxiety Cronus Protagonist Jul 2013 #9

My best friend's husband was fortunate to be able to work out avebury Jul 2013 #52

Is Lukes father going to breast feed him? fglad Jul 2013 #10

Nursing mothers and infants cannot be compassionately separated Small Accumulates Jul 2013 #13

I bet not a single person pushing pumps in this thread ever did it pnwmom Jul 2013 #17

I'm not a 'him'. HappyMe Jul 2013 #23

Have you ever pumped breast milk out of a breast?? pnwmom Jul 2013 #41

Since I was the single mother of HappyMe Jul 2013 #44

Did you have to go for two days in a row without nursing them? pnwmom Jul 2013 #49

You know, anything I say here HappyMe Jul 2013 #56

They're both 27? Both of them? Really? I find your story suspicious. Orrex Jul 2013 #165

Me too, HappyMe... Violet_Crumble Jul 2013 #58

I had trouble at first, but then it got better. HappyMe Jul 2013 #64

Not to hijack, but you give me hope!! kdmorris Jul 2013 #364

Due to whatever reasons the parents aren't allowed to have contact. tammywammy Jul 2013 #18

Social service agencies deal with this kind of situation routinely Small Accumulates Jul 2013 #30

Neither of my nurslings would have anything to do with a bottle... Hekate Jul 2013 #25

I'd like to hug the inventor of the sippy cup! Small Accumulates Jul 2013 #32

Mine was the same way...no artificial nipples for her!! Never accepted a rubber msanthrope Jul 2013 #125

contemptable bullshit. nt galileoreloaded Jul 2013 #79

Your rebuttal is overwhelming. N/t Small Accumulates Jul 2013 #173

hmmm handmade34 Jul 2013 #175

This mother of 4 (also all breastfed) agrees with you. nt laundry_queen Jul 2013 #198

Which is all you will ever produce. Starry Messenger Jul 2013 #207

I agree with you. SalviaBlue Jul 2013 #85

Horrendous damage? Major Nikon Jul 2013 #117

There! You've run rings around me logically! Small Accumulates Jul 2013 #174

Horrendous damage? Oh please... taught_me_patience Jul 2013 #179

Your post makes very good sense to me and I'm glad you wrote it. Mira Jul 2013 #185

Thanks Mira! Small Accumulates Jul 2013 #292

This is one of those impossible situations. RudynJack Jul 2013 #27

Novel idea... Do what is BEST for the baby. I'm not saying what that is, but the judge hlthe2b Jul 2013 #34

Honestly... RudynJack Jul 2013 #54

wiser words were never spoken... handmade34 Jul 2013 #180

Baby's rights trump that of either parent. pnwmom Jul 2013 #43

I see this RudynJack Jul 2013 #51

I'm intrigued at how much overlap there is between the "rights of the baby" lumberjack_jeff Jul 2013 #57

And did you read the bit in the article where she also refused to let him have the 2 year old? Violet_Crumble Jul 2013 #65

People do seem to forget that the "rights of the baby" Mariana Jul 2013 #76

Summed up PERFECTLY in a mere 27 words. Spot-fucking-on. opiate69 Jul 2013 #92

There is no actual need to be breasfed mythology Jul 2013 #86

He has rights to see his kids Mariana Jul 2013 #93

Agreed 100%. This should be a no brainer. morningfog Jul 2013 #116

I wonder how long the father would be willing to try with a bottle and formula. Brickbat Jul 2013 #29

My thoughts exactly. MissB Jul 2013 #109

You're right--fathers are generally less dedicated than mothers Orrex Jul 2013 #162

Heh. Not exactly what I was saying, although I can see how it comes across that way. Brickbat Jul 2013 #281

LOL. Don't worry--I knew what you meant. Orrex Jul 2013 #288

I wonder which parent would agree to a Solomonic decree. WinkyDink Jul 2013 #36

I suspect, the judge was a male ConcernedCanuk Jul 2013 #40

Bull. The judge knows FAR more about this family TorchTheWitch Jul 2013 #262

Good. lumberjack_jeff Jul 2013 #48

It makes one weigh the benefits, that's for sure NickB79 Jul 2013 #60

Very bad. It is bad for the baby. That is what should be the guiding decision here. morningfog Jul 2013 #113

LOL laundry_queen Jul 2013 #201

It is unusual, and I wonder why such an order was made. Mariana Jul 2013 #263

I remember an OP I did several years back Le Taz Hot Jul 2013 #273

"I'm a lifelong feminist so I'm not sure how that works" ElboRuum Jul 2013 #308

And so... pipi_k Jul 2013 #55

Yeah, Dorian Gray Jul 2013 #70

I agree alarimer Jul 2013 #106

Send her to jail. The dad deserves to see the kid also. n-t Logical Jul 2013 #62

And the kid deserves to see his dad. nt. Mariana Jul 2013 #97

About the only thing that Mens' Rights Advocates get right is in aptly naming galileoreloaded Jul 2013 #66

That could cause some real health issues for the mom too. But I would just hand him the baby. appleannie1 Jul 2013 #72

Yeah, because men are completely incapable of dealing with babies NickB79 Jul 2013 #75

Well, it says in the article that the baby won't accept a bottle gollygee Jul 2013 #78

I practically raised our daughter the first 6 mo. NickB79 Jul 2013 #82

Fathers and mothers can both be wonderful caregivers gollygee Jul 2013 #83

No, the article doesn't say that. Mariana Jul 2013 #84

I acknowledged that gollygee Jul 2013 #87

A lot of breast fed babies refuse bottles. appleannie1 Jul 2013 #91

I never said men can't take care of babies. The baby will not take a bottle and unless something appleannie1 Jul 2013 #90

The mother said the baby won't take a bottle. tammywammy Jul 2013 #96

A lot of breast fed babies won't take a bottle. Also, there has to be a reason the parents are appleannie1 Jul 2013 #98

I'm sure if there was abuse the woman wouldn't have hesistated to mention it tammywammy Jul 2013 #101

Post removed Post removed Jul 2013 #77

Funny how the only kind of sexism you acknowledge BainsBane Jul 2013 #95

That poster has FINALLY left the building mtnester Jul 2013 #377

Praise be to EarlG BainsBane Jul 2013 #378

One would think... opiate69 Jul 2013 #385

Really? BainsBane Jul 2013 #386

When did I ever suggest you had?? opiate69 Jul 2013 #388

If I had approached his level of behavior BainsBane Jul 2013 #389

When did I ever BainsBane Jul 2013 #387

So nothing says "motherhood" like guaranteeing a hungry child? lumberjack_jeff Jul 2013 #105

No shit... spot on.. opiate69 Jul 2013 #114

^This. Union Scribe Jul 2013 #156

This isn't 1950 Major Nikon Jul 2013 #118

It took my grandaughters boyfriend about 5 hrs womanofthehills Jul 2013 #411

The children have the right to spend time with their father. Mariana Jul 2013 #80

The infant belongs with the mother until weaned. roamer65 Jul 2013 #89

If the baby is the most important factor here, then both the parents are ZombieHorde Jul 2013 #94

+1 nomorenomore08 Jul 2013 #99

So they should stay together "for the sake of the kids"?? opiate69 Jul 2013 #107

Is the well being of the baby the most important factor? nt ZombieHorde Jul 2013 #115

It most assuredly is. opiate69 Jul 2013 #119

If people have free will, then they choose to not fuction together. nt ZombieHorde Jul 2013 #120

Spoken like someone who's never seen, much less been in, a relationship. opiate69 Jul 2013 #126

I've been in a relationship with the same person for 13 years. ZombieHorde Jul 2013 #146

Ive been in one with the same person for 15+... opiate69 Jul 2013 #149

If people can choose how they behave, ZombieHorde Jul 2013 #163

Well... opiate69 Jul 2013 #176

I agree with you, but that is not a child-first perspective. nt ZombieHorde Jul 2013 #178

It appears, then, we have reached a detente. opiate69 Jul 2013 #196

Sleep well. nt ZombieHorde Jul 2013 #206

No, but I would say they behave like adults BainsBane Jul 2013 #223

More misogyny on DU. This place sickens me sometimes. Nine Jul 2013 #102

Then one has to wonder why you stick around Major Nikon Jul 2013 #124

Did it ever occur to you BainsBane Jul 2013 #224

Captain Obvious to the rescue Major Nikon Jul 2013 #227

You were the one throwing around charges of misandry BainsBane Jul 2013 #229

Says the person who sees misogyny behind every tree Major Nikon Jul 2013 #230

You could actually ask me what my views are BainsBane Jul 2013 #231

I actually tried that once Major Nikon Jul 2013 #232

Oh, about that study from the 1980s BainsBane Jul 2013 #236

No, it was about exactly what I said Major Nikon Jul 2013 #241

I recall saying BainsBane Jul 2013 #245

+1 Liberal_in_LA Jul 2013 #202

Well, some babies do flat out refuse the bottle for a long time rebecca_herman Jul 2013 #103

Bah. Put both parents in jail cells and don't let them out until they can behave like adults. hunter Jul 2013 #104

Breeders....amiright?? Inkfreak Jul 2013 #110

youberight Mushroom Jul 2013 #283

So much offensive bullshit in this thread. This is like a men's rights wet dream. morningfog Jul 2013 #112

Because you don't like the decision, the judge "must have been a male" Major Nikon Jul 2013 #129

I would put money on it being a male judge. morningfog Jul 2013 #132

As if breastfeeding is beyond the scope of reason Major Nikon Jul 2013 #135

I am a dude, dude. morningfog Jul 2013 #139

I could care less Major Nikon Jul 2013 #140

In this case, the lack of reason almost assuredly came from a man. morningfog Jul 2013 #141

Very telling Major Nikon Jul 2013 #142

I bet this gets reversed on appeal. One idiot judge made a dumbass order. morningfog Jul 2013 #136

I'll ask you the same thing i asked pnw... opiate69 Jul 2013 #143

Because he's a man Major Nikon Jul 2013 #144

(psst.. ixnay on the isandrymay ... we made the concept up, remember?) opiate69 Jul 2013 #148

He is clearly insisting on preventing his child from the benefits of breastfeeding. morningfog Jul 2013 #145

Yes... damn him for demanding his rights be upheld... opiate69 Jul 2013 #147

If he is putting his rights above the baby's interests, morningfog Jul 2013 #151

The childs best interest is not in jeopardy if other solutions for his feeding are available. opiate69 Jul 2013 #154

Breastfeeding is recommeded as the sole source for at least 6 months, and morningfog Jul 2013 #155

The court order awards him custody for two days per week... opiate69 Jul 2013 #159

His idea of "best interests" also completely negates any benefit the child/father relationship has Major Nikon Jul 2013 #181

telling, indeed.. opiate69 Jul 2013 #182

He is doing no such thing Major Nikon Jul 2013 #150

Bullshit. You are ignorant to how breast feeding works. morningfog Jul 2013 #153

Egocentrism on your part is another possibility Major Nikon Jul 2013 #157

Post removed Post removed Jul 2013 #158

Please don't throw me into the briar patch Major Nikon Jul 2013 #161

Heh.. guess he doesn't have to go through the trouble of trashing the thread now... opiate69 Jul 2013 #171

Silver lining Major Nikon Jul 2013 #280

As a former breast-feeding mum, I'm not ignorant about it... Violet_Crumble Jul 2013 #160

Her story betrays a much more simple explanation Major Nikon Jul 2013 #164

Yep, explanation 2's looking the far more likely one to me... Violet_Crumble Jul 2013 #168

I'm one of those women laundry_queen Jul 2013 #183

I've never heard of a child starving to death because they wouldn't take a bottle Major Nikon Jul 2013 #191

I lived in an area where pumps weren't accessible laundry_queen Jul 2013 #197

Few things are more unnerving to a parent than a crying baby Major Nikon Jul 2013 #205

Starving to death isn't the issue. yewberry Jul 2013 #203

You're assuming that would actually happen Major Nikon Jul 2013 #209

No, I am allowing for worst-case scenarios. Not assuming. yewberry Jul 2013 #216

Worst case is the child dies of starvation Major Nikon Jul 2013 #220

As a speech-language pathologist and feeding therapist, phylny Jul 2013 #323

So do you have any statistics on what rate that happens? Major Nikon Jul 2013 #330

So yes, I do. phylny Jul 2013 #394

I didn't find anything that shows how many severe cases there are Major Nikon Jul 2013 #398

Well, there are enough that there are whole specialties devoted to phylny Jul 2013 #407

The court *acting in the best interests of the child* has decreed weekend visitation. lumberjack_jeff Jul 2013 #297

Have we determined if The Olive Garden is involved? Orrex Jul 2013 #166

Who's got the calendar handy? Aren't we due for a circumcision flamewar soon? opiate69 Jul 2013 #186

I need to make a new one. Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #188

Ha! August! I wuz right!!! opiate69 Jul 2013 #189

You know, since I made that I have searched and searched for the picture of the scientist with the Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #190

Heh... I have a similar "white whale"... opiate69 Jul 2013 #192

Message auto-removed Name removed Jul 2013 #347

Awesome! Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #375

August started early this year BainsBane Jul 2013 #413

lol! opiate69 Jul 2013 #414

In that same vein BainsBane Jul 2013 #415

Good gods, they'll have a contest for anything, won't they? opiate69 Jul 2013 #416

This is the best part BainsBane Jul 2013 #417

Whoda thought there were so many people willing to share their um.... opiate69 Jul 2013 #419

I think, here, the court is wrong. Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #187

Pretty hard to make that determination Major Nikon Jul 2013 #210

Here's the thing: Biologically speaking I know how intensive and restrictive dedicated breastfeeding Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #214

Again all you are going on is one side of the story Major Nikon Jul 2013 #219

He's going on his knowledge of human biology and experience with his own children BainsBane Jul 2013 #228

You have little idea how much milk she can pump Major Nikon Jul 2013 #237

Really? If that is a possible hypothesis BainsBane Jul 2013 #239

Is 2360 enough? Major Nikon Jul 2013 #240

but those women aren't feeding babies at the time BainsBane Jul 2013 #242

... Major Nikon Jul 2013 #243

Okay BainsBane Jul 2013 #246

Different subject Major Nikon Jul 2013 #247

So all those enslaved women BainsBane Jul 2013 #248

Perhaps Major Nikon Jul 2013 #254

That strange reason BainsBane Jul 2013 #257

So you felt the need to throw out irrelevant information because you're a self described expert Major Nikon Jul 2013 #261

I could have gone with my sister's experience BainsBane Jul 2013 #379

There is a limited amount of information in the story, period, to be sure. Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #250

The story doesn't give much information regarding what was ordered Major Nikon Jul 2013 #259

Nah, and I don't think I've said that. Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #260

That was exactly my impression as well Major Nikon Jul 2013 #264

Well, here's the other thing, speaking of data points that can't be twisted or misrepresented; Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #265

All the more reason for the dad to be involved Major Nikon Jul 2013 #266

I hear you. Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #267

One would hope that it's just a matter of differing thoughts on what's best for him Major Nikon Jul 2013 #268

Yeah, I'm kind of on that in the other post I'm writing downthread. Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #269

You miss things you don't ever get back Mariana Jul 2013 #397

There is a lot missing in this story kdmorris Jul 2013 #348

Oh, Oh BainsBane Jul 2013 #226

I'd say that assesment of the position -that it's misandry- is wrong, too. Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #249

Well some in this thead BainsBane Jul 2013 #251

And praise to Jesus, Odin and Thor we don't have meta anymore. Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #253

that reminds me of a lounge thread BainsBane Jul 2013 #255

Heh. Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #258

Once again, you've put your keen and penetrating mind to the task, Snape, opiate69 Jul 2013 #334

I have no idea what you are going on about BainsBane Jul 2013 #376

They're from this very thread.. but just go ahead and keep your fingers firmly in your ears opiate69 Jul 2013 #381

No thank you BainsBane Jul 2013 #383

I'd say both parents are acting inappropriately. yewberry Jul 2013 #193

It appears that 'The Patriarchy' all overt the world, is coming totally unhinged. DeSwiss Jul 2013 #195

you got all that from a custody dispute involving a 4 mo. old? Warren DeMontague Jul 2013 #270

It's unnatural to take a 4 month Boudica the Lyoness Jul 2013 #199

Then they need to find a way to work out visits Mariana Jul 2013 #222

It doesn't matter how she comes off in a newspaper article Boudica the Lyoness Jul 2013 #332

What do you mean by this? Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #337

Yeah, really, WFT? I'm a grandmother Mariana Jul 2013 #343

Overnight stays with my nephew were cool, he slept through the night... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #344

You are right on the last part, it is a somewhat unusual order for a judge to get involved directly. Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #345

"Right now the baby belongs with his mother." Orrex Jul 2013 #340

She is arguing that, she's also arguing, I think, that men are incapable of taking care of infants. Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #342

she will lose custody if the father wants to pursue charges Sunlei Jul 2013 #204

My son wouldn't take Peaceplace80 Jul 2013 #211

Mine wouldn't bottlefeed, either. They hated pacifiers, Ilsa Jul 2013 #284

The knee-jerking in this thread is unbelievable LittleBlue Jul 2013 #238

Welcome to DU Major Nikon Jul 2013 #244

+1 davidpdx Jul 2013 #272

Is the father a bad person? B Calm Jul 2013 #252

From what I can tell on this thread, to some people, the father has no more right to see his... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #287

A little more information to ponder ConcernedCanuk Jul 2013 #278

Interesting read The Straight Story Jul 2013 #302

+1! ConcernedCanuk Jul 2013 #307

pump it and freeze it... ileus Jul 2013 #279

I don't believe it freezes well BainsBane Jul 2013 #382

you can freeze breastmilk. i am not aware of any negatives to it. ejpoeta Jul 2013 #432

. ConcernedCanuk Jul 2013 #285

Curious that you didn't hope to create empathy for the father. Orrex Jul 2013 #289

Where's the photo of dad? lumberjack_jeff Jul 2013 #298

Good question! ConcernedCanuk Jul 2013 #305

What plight? Why use biased words here, we have one side of the story... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #311

"as far as we know" - well let the MAN speak up! ConcernedCanuk Jul 2013 #317

You bring up nationality like it matters in this case, why? Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #326

Those are good questions. Mariana Jul 2013 #418

Do fathers not exist in your world? Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #303

Unfortunately, my father passed away 6 years ago at the age of 95. ConcernedCanuk Jul 2013 #310

My mother just recently passed, dad is still alive... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #313

A disinterested family law lawyer says this is very out of the ordinary. Nine Jul 2013 #290

the fact that she's denying visitation for the 2 year old as well is evidence of bad faith. n/t lumberjack_jeff Jul 2013 #299

I don't know all the details. Nine Jul 2013 #329

What if the mother should suddenly be unable to produce milk? Orrex Jul 2013 #336

I don't understand it either, and a lot of things can happen to prevent safe breastfeeding... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #339

You think such situations are always resolved satisfactorily? Nine Jul 2013 #351

Spare me your righteousness Orrex Jul 2013 #362

I think "rights" as used in this thread kind of misses the point. lumberjack_jeff Jul 2013 #391

This is precisely true. Ilsa Jul 2013 #396

she should get brief nursing visits during the weekends until the baby is weaned. librechik Jul 2013 #291

It is good that the child will benefit from time spent with his father. n/t leeroysphitz Jul 2013 #293

Right davidpdx Jul 2013 #294

Because the justice system Turbineguy Jul 2013 #301

This is my solution dsc Jul 2013 #306

My solution is that if they aren't mature enough to deal with each other... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #309

Nothing indicates the children are suffering under their mother's care. ConcernedCanuk Jul 2013 #314

No evidence they will suffer under the father's care as well... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #315

I don't know pipi_k Jul 2013 #371

It was partially tongue in cheek, though also just venting some frustration... Humanist_Activist Jul 2013 #373

Yeah, pretty common pipi_k Jul 2013 #395

The child deserves time with his father... theHandpuppet Jul 2013 #335

The divorce was worse for the kids than missing breastfeeding. gulliver Jul 2013 #346

Some of the comments are disgusting here. ChairmanAgnostic Jul 2013 #355

She cares so much about her kids well being CC Jul 2013 #365

Absent life threatening abuse, I would not separate from my husband for this reason Nikia Jul 2013 #390

Reasonable. Mom can either drop off the kids as ordered or go to jail... Demo_Chris Jul 2013 #392

Lots of ignorance in this thread Spades3351 Jul 2013 #401

Welcome to DU! The Straight Story Jul 2013 #402

Thanks! Spades3351 Jul 2013 #408

Well stick around and jump into some more threads The Straight Story Jul 2013 #410

No Problem Spades3351 Jul 2013 #412

Welcome! Nine Jul 2013 #427

Choose the father carefully lindisfarne Jul 2013 #420

The child won't be bonding with either parent Spades3351 Jul 2013 #422

I've been watching this OP hang at the top of GD for a while now Fumesucker Jul 2013 #421

I think the really important question is "why is there no post 380?" Orrex Jul 2013 #425

The dad is considering his own self to the exclusion of all others Evergreen Emerald Jul 2013 #426

Actually we have no idea what led to this court decision tammywammy Jul 2013 #428

ouchy Evergreen Emerald Jul 2013 #433