Court orders mother to hand over nursing infant to father on weekends

[pnwmom]

320. In infancy, what the baby needs more than anything else is consistent, daily time with

a primary care-giver -- the bonded relationship that nature provided for with breastfeeding but could be provided by any single, loving, trustworthy adult. That gives her the emotional security and trust in life needed to form other solid relationships. Instead, this baby, who's too young to have an understanding of time and object constancy, will be lost without her primary caregiver for two solid days each week, not knowing when she will return. In her mind, her mother will be inexplicably fading out from her life each weekend.

She would actually have a better chance of forming a solid bond with her father if she had the foundational security of daily care (at least part time) with her mother, and shorter more frequent visits with him (even if overnight visits didn't start till she was two.) Instead, she won't feel entirely secure with either parent -- and this could cause lifelong damage.

What this father could end up with is an adult daughter who loves both her parents -- and hates them, too. Borderline personality disorder is thought to be the result of a broken bond with the primary parent in early childhood. I'd never risk that if I were that father. He'd be much better off to give up the long weekend visits and end up with a daughter that was capable of healthy trust and love.

But courts all too often show a willingness to rule based on the parent's happiness rather than the baby's psychological needs.