Lazy? Addicted? my daughter's experience - mini study of who we are throwing under the bus

[supernova]

11. Your daughter could be me

I have a condition that I was born with. I understand the not quite making it.

I had surgery as a child to correct the more drastic aspects of my condition. Thanks to modern medicine, my life expectancy is a normal life span with continued care.

But that doesn't mean I am "normal."

I am not in the same good health as someone without this condition. I have lowered stamina and tire easily. This makes sure I do things slower than most other people. I get everything done, it just takes me longer because I must rest where others would not. I try to be as efficient as any person can be.

I like to tell people that it feels like being one of those school buses with a governor on it so that it doesn't go more than 35 mph.

In my day to day life, my condition doesn't matter so much. Who cares if I finish the laundry on Sunday night or Tuesday? And indeed, I make those kinds of energy trade offs all the time to make sure I can do all the important stuff in my life. I learned very early not to sweat the small stuff. I budget my time against my energy levels all the time to make the most of the energy I do have.

But work is a completely different story. If you are employed, you are on someone else's time. And everyone is always in a hurry, hurry, hurry. To get ahead, you have to show the boss you can be faster than everyone. It used to be you had to be more accurate and faster than everyone. But lately, it just seemed all they want is faster and cheaper, more accurate seems to go by the wayside. My major point is, you can be the greatest worker ever, even with a medical condition, but they will still let you go. Because why? Because you can't control how others perceive you, that's why. In the land of the fast, us slow pokes come up wanting.

Is is right? Is is fair? Of course not. But it is the world we built.

What about the ADA, you might ask? That's a good thing. For those who have ADA listed conditions, you do indeed get certain provisions at work that would be to your benefit. I don't know. Has your daughter considered consulting with a lawyer if the ADA would apply to her? I know for people who seem able-bodied, admitting that you might want to be classified as officially "disabled" is a mental leap that is hard to make. If you've lived with a medical condition all your life you are strong and proud.

I have no official numbers, but my feeling is there is a huge group of us between 100% normal and officially ADA-qualifying who are simply falling through the cracks. What are we supposed to do? We still need to live, eat, and save for a rainy day. And I don't feel disabled in the classic sense anyway.

For myself, I'm starting my own business. I finally realized after multiple layoffs in the 2000s the only way I was going to be at my best professionally is if my time were my own and I were my own boss. I'm the only one who knows when I should rest and when I can give 200% to be successful. Perhaps your daughter would contemplate doing something similar?

One last thought: We have built a society were 100% able-bodied people are still fighting for their rights (LGBT, women and girls, African Americans, Indians.. and on and on) Shockingly, it still seems to be too much to ask, taboo even, to talk about people with, erm.. lets say limitations who are nevertheless perfectly capable and talented.