Are You Monogamish?

[Heddi]

35. that's just it...we're happy, and it works for us

I would never presume to tell anyone else how to be happy in their marriage/relationship/life because I only know how to be happy with and in mine.

We are so discreet because, the reality is, we would both lose our jobs if anyone we knew caught wind of our life choices. So when we meet people, which is usually through adult-themed dating sites, we have to use pseudonyms, make sure we don't know the people first, make sure we don't work in the same industry first...it's ridiculous.

I'm by no means claiming that our being closeted as "swingers/whatever" is in any way remotely the same as people who are closeted because they're gay...being married, I "pass as straight" and everyone assumes that I have missionary sex 2x's a year or whatever it is that unhappily married people do. So I'm closeted partially, but not in the way that GBLT'ers generally are.

I know when I have told friends about what we do, I've gotten some repulsion...uuugh! Ew. Nasty. Really? seriously? 2013 and people having good fun clean sex is uugh ew nasty?

And they can't say what's uugh ew nasty about it. Because these are generally pro-GBLT people, young (I'm 37, so my age or a few years younger) So it's not the girl-girl sex that's necessarily uugh ew nasty. It's not the boy-girl sex that's ug ew nasty. There's no boy-boy sex so that's not an issue. Is it because it's 3 or 4 instead of 2? There's nothing ugh ew nasty about that....unless you're in too-small of a space, then it's just assholes and elbows in everyone's face, and there's no fun in that.

I think that some people can't get their head around the fact that there is no jealousy. Again, no one is stepping out and being coy behind the other's back. WE're in this together. It's a turn-on for us. Maybe that's the ugh ew nasty part. That the idea that i'm okay seeing my ol' man doing the do with another chick is cool with me. Especially when she breaks me off a piece of that at the same time ha ha ha