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In reply to the discussion: It Was Like One Slap In My Face After Another... Gay Husbands Go To Red America. [View all]2theleft
(1,136 posts)My little story - My ex-husband (we were straight, white, young) has a family that is just flat out mean...not to each other (well, usually), but just in general - racist, don't "believe" in "the gays", blah, blah, blah. I dreaded EVERY family function we had to attend, but like you, took the approach that kindness was better than a family fued for the sake of my husband.
One year we were invited to a Halloween party. I went as a black sheep. When asked why, I said sweetly, "oh, because I'm the black sheep of the family". Some would chuckle, some would give me puzzled looks, but most asked my husband later what I meant by that.
And he got to explain to them that I didn't share their intolerant views. It definitely helped make future family functions a little more tolerable for me as they tended to avoid topics they knew would make me mad. It didn't solve the problem, but it at least got it out there that I wasn't one of them.
Oh, and I also by the most obnoxious toys for annoying relative's kids on my side of the family. Revenge is certainly deliscious and you get to be the cool aunt or uncle for buying such fun toys. Win-win.