I'm drunk, any other alcoholics around?

[cilla4progress]

76. Life-changing thread, perfectly timed

When I opened this thread I didn't know if it was a joke. When I started reading posts, I didn't know what to expect.

I woke up this morning and looked at myself in the mirror. I realized, I feel really good.

Yesterday is the first day in awhile where I "only" had 1 beer and no pot. I do believe I am psychologically (at least) addicted to pot. The combination of booze and pot gives me a nice "pad," insulation from the sad and desperate realities I am, for whatever reason, inordinately constitutionally attuned to: poverty, racism, classism, and the big daddy of them all: climate change.

Sometimes I feel like I am moving through my days in a dreamworld... it feels good.

Well, I "forgot" to smoke a little bowl yesterday, and it was a beer (not hard liquor) day, and I can't drink much of that (at 135 lbs. I am a lightweight in terms of overall volume, but I am, nonetheless, habitutated to a buzz, most days).

It sure was good to wake up without a scratchy throat (pot), fuzzy head, or blurred perception. Will see how long I can go.

The suggestions about being outside in nature and bicycling really speak to me, because they are really accessible to me and I love them, though some days I avoid them because they "interfere" with my drinking and stonage!!

Well, off to read the Molly Ivins letter. Thanks to all for your posts...maybe a turning point for me.

And most of all, thanks for your honesty and vulnerability, madville. I hope you got enough suggestions here, too, to turn it around. You are heard and honored here. Keep us posted, if it is helpful.