General Discussion

hamsterjill

(17,638 posts)

158. I believe this to be true!

Tue Aug 6, 2013, 04:14 PM

Aug 2013

My daughter is about to turn 30, and she and her husband have chosen to hold off having children. It may be that they never have children. They are leaving that door open for the time being.

They both have good jobs and make decent money. Their jobs require regular hours at work and my son-in-law's job requires somewhat of a flexible schedule (i.e., some night shifts).

I have to say it - they are doing much better than some of their friends who have chosen to have children early and often! And I don't mean simply monetarily, although of course that is part of the equation. My kiddos have taken the time to enjoy one another's company, do things together (like travel), and work toward common goals BEFORE having children. They are happy, appear content, and financially secure!

I've seen several of my daughter's friends, who I have known for decades, struggle financially and stressfully trying to care for children that were born early in their lives. Several of these friends already have as many as three children. And while that decision may have been the right decision for THEM...I am happy that my own daughter has delayed the responsibility of children so that she can enjoy the life she has now. When and if she and her husband choose to have a child will be their decision and I will support that decision regardless of what it is. And I believe they will be in a better position to give a child the life it deserves for having waited a while.

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Are Babies for Idiots? Maternal Urge Decreases in Women with Higher IQ [View all] AngryAmish Aug 2013 OP

Our youngest has a very high IQ and... liberal N proud Aug 2013 #1

Mine is 22, and she says if she has kids, it will be through adoption. AngryOldDem Aug 2013 #2

That is to say, SMART young people are aware� Jackpine Radical Aug 2013 #35

Duly noted! n/t AngryOldDem Aug 2013 #36

I believe this to be true! hamsterjill Aug 2013 #158

My fear is Idiocracy was a documentary AngryAmish Aug 2013 #3

not was, IS. hobbit709 Aug 2013 #10

Yeah, but who's fault was that? The2ndWheel Aug 2013 #19

+10 RC Aug 2013 #33

I have struggled with that question my whole life. nt Sivafae Aug 2013 #87

I'll see that and raise you DonCoquixote Aug 2013 #114

Yet religion isn't genetic get the red out Aug 2013 #139

Religious fundies have such crappy, boring, lives unless they have several children. Quantess Aug 2013 #196

This message was self-deleted by its author Electric Monk Aug 2013 #133

Indeed. Here is the section which so accurately documented the trend cited in the OP KurtNYC Aug 2013 #37

My fear is that Idiocracy reflects the ongoing influence of the eugenics hedgehog Aug 2013 #54

and that was one reason why it was released in about five theaters nationwide AngryAmish Aug 2013 #115

Correct. JackRiddler Aug 2013 #134

Luckily it was just a horrible movie instead. Dash87 Aug 2013 #170

no it doesn't. It's purely anecdotal. That doesn't add evidence. cali Aug 2013 #22

My husband and I are academics w/no kids. I am NOT suggesting that I have a high IQ anneboleyn Aug 2013 #106

Just proves that the menfolk don't like breeding with them smart wimmins. Orrex Aug 2013 #4

In general men don't mind marrying down the IQ ladder, women do AngryAmish Aug 2013 #12

That just shows that men and women are shallow in different ways Orrex Aug 2013 #14

yeah, how about it? AngryAmish Aug 2013 #17

Great post....that's been my observation & experience as well. nt raccoon Aug 2013 #68

I prefer smart women. Much prefer. RC Aug 2013 #34

Idiots? Seriously? cherokeeprogressive Aug 2013 #5

misleading title (not your fault, of course) magical thyme Aug 2013 #6

Speaking of specimens... pipi_k Aug 2013 #24

ah, but was it a "clean catch" poop? magical thyme Aug 2013 #26

I'm pretty sure pipi_k Aug 2013 #48

What you are describing is someone who didn't have the same vocabulary as you - hedgehog Aug 2013 #55

Not mentally challenged pipi_k Aug 2013 #100

Where did she thing the penis was going during sexual intercourse? Chemisse Aug 2013 #177

That wouldn't say much for all of our mothers The2ndWheel Aug 2013 #7

Mother's Day is mawkish, sentimental, pro-breeding propaganda. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #18

Damned if you do or don't The2ndWheel Aug 2013 #25

oh what nonsense. cali Aug 2013 #28

+ a really big number onenote Aug 2013 #39

All the periods you mention saw a decline in birth rates. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #49

more garbage without a scintilla of evidence to back up your silly claims cali Aug 2013 #63

I tend to have a fairly accepting attitude towards most human behavior. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #66

we must help them feel that having kids is a bad idea. loyalsister Aug 2013 #74

Based on the fact that the whole human species is probably 100x into overshoot. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #75

ack. you are wrong. cali Aug 2013 #77

I actually don't think that any amount of human preaching will get people to change their behavior. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #86

I don't disagree with that. cali Aug 2013 #101

My wording was deliberately inflammatory. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #103

you deliberately post flame bait, make a claim cali Aug 2013 #108

Fair enough. I won't do it again. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #112

thanks. I think you bring up valid points and it's a discussion worthy topic cali Aug 2013 #117

I'll think about it. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #123

Somebody fucked you up real good, didn't they. WilliamPitt Aug 2013 #57

Why, because I have attitudes you don't agree with? GliderGuider Aug 2013 #61

No, but apparently I'm "completely bound up in my own psychic wounds and egoic needs." WilliamPitt Aug 2013 #64

That's quite an intense statement. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #67

Yup. WilliamPitt Aug 2013 #70

That's too bad. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #76

"our culture markets demographic beliefs and turns them into holy writ" get the red out Aug 2013 #135

We evolved to accept stupid beliefs in the interests of social harmony. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #137

Sometimes I wish I could accept them get the red out Aug 2013 #138

Some bells can't be un-rung GliderGuider Aug 2013 #140

The Chinese ferociously marketed "one child max" mainer Aug 2013 #147

The government, not their culture get the red out Aug 2013 #149

So we must wipe out "the culture"? mainer Aug 2013 #150

That is my take on how a culture markets things get the red out Aug 2013 #155

And where do the corporations come from? GliderGuider Aug 2013 #166

I agree get the red out Aug 2013 #167

All life is fundamentally selfish. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #168

You can not separate our society from the politics of corporatism. WCLinolVir Aug 2013 #178

Yes, people are fundamentally coerced. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #179

Nice theory but once again all encompassing. Over broad. WCLinolVir Aug 2013 #194

If you say so. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #195

People can't live in groups without a culture emerging. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #161

Your thoughts may be one thing Marrah_G Aug 2013 #151

Yes, I got that. nt GliderGuider Aug 2013 #153

Completely unrelated nadinbrzezinski Aug 2013 #91

Thats' a very good point. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #93

My sis has yet to post one picture of her now 10 and 8 year olds nadinbrzezinski Aug 2013 #98

Well if you are pipi_k Aug 2013 #107

Well, we have been told this by SD police agencies nadinbrzezinski Aug 2013 #109

Livia Soprano, is that you? nt Tommy_Carcetti Aug 2013 #165

They use a pic of Cameron Diaz as an example. pintobean Aug 2013 #8

In addition... Orrex Aug 2013 #9

Actually, yes, she is. nt justiceischeap Aug 2013 #16

How fucking ridiculous. Speaking of idiots. cali Aug 2013 #11

I would also add societal pressure into the mix of variables In some societal segments womens' roles KittyWampus Aug 2013 #29

You are right - there are so many other variables. Chemisse Aug 2013 #183

Perhaps smarter, better-educated people can see the future more clearly? GliderGuider Aug 2013 #13

"smarter, better-educated people" pintobean Aug 2013 #23

There are a growing number of people who don't think the problems are solvable any more. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #46

Funny that isn't it Puzzledtraveller Aug 2013 #73

Regarding our offspring solving future problems, do you know "Sevareid's Law?" GliderGuider Aug 2013 #78

Yet, here we are pintobean Aug 2013 #89

What problem do you see me as trying to solve? GliderGuider Aug 2013 #90

My need for an education in bullshit. (nt) pintobean Aug 2013 #94

I can't teach you anything you don't want to learn. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #97

Not at all. Daemonaquila Aug 2013 #188

I'm sure glad I'm not smart enough to see the world as you do. Throd Aug 2013 #30

Once you get used to it, it's actually quite a wonderful place. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #53

This kind of "monster"? onenote Aug 2013 #42

IMO, any couple entering their reproductive phase now who has more than two children GliderGuider Aug 2013 #50

Be careful. I mentioned that I was going to put a "two is enough" bumper sticker on my car, and... Dawgs Aug 2013 #92

I know. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #95

enjoy your superiority complex. I'm done with this idiotic thread. liberal_at_heart Aug 2013 #162

That places Darwinian pressure on humans to become less intelligent. N/T GreenStormCloud Aug 2013 #15

That pressure has actually been there for a long time now. Jackpine Radical Aug 2013 #38

That is true. N/T GreenStormCloud Aug 2013 #40

It may go back much further than that. GliderGuider Aug 2013 #58

Well, not really. IIRC, intelligence as measured by IQ tests is only weakly inheritable. Nay Aug 2013 #141

Not a surprise. Myrina Aug 2013 #20

You alone here, got it! I thought it seemed simple and obvious enough. bettyellen Aug 2013 #31

+1 JustAnotherGen Aug 2013 #32

Seems an obvious confound, but....... freeplessinseattle Aug 2013 #120

How did he measure "smartness"? mainer Aug 2013 #172

Ask your mother. panader0 Aug 2013 #21

! hedgehog Aug 2013 #56

Perhaps women w/higher IQ's reason through options when unwanted pregnancy occurs AND KittyWampus Aug 2013 #27

Probably because they have more to lose, and the ability to evaluate that loss Xithras Aug 2013 #41

IQ is overrated. nt rrneck Aug 2013 #43

Makes sense to me. bunnies Aug 2013 #44

LOL. Daemonaquila Aug 2013 #189

I wish Bunnahabhain Aug 2013 #45

Not surprising to me, kiva Aug 2013 #47

Well that explains me, lol. Still childless, and have not regretted it. kestrel91316 Aug 2013 #51

I think there may be pipi_k Aug 2013 #52

Kanasawa also posted on his blog that black women are less attractive Gormy Cuss Aug 2013 #59

Since reliable birth control came along, MANY childbearing-age women SoCalDem Aug 2013 #60

All the ramifications of this are a huge can of worms from the standpoint of natural selection Zorra Aug 2013 #62

oh bullshit. correlation not causation. HiPointDem Aug 2013 #65

Calling Sir Francis Galton on the Factophone: Manifestor_of_Light Aug 2013 #69

You have discovered the bane of every baseball agents' existence AngryAmish Aug 2013 #193

Oy vey Puzzledtraveller Aug 2013 #71

It always amuses me when people critique an activity that is literally built into our DNA Dreamer Tatum Aug 2013 #72

First, I'm a monster for being an omnivore and now my mom's an idiot for getting pregnant. eom millennialmax Aug 2013 #82

^^this^^ Puzzledtraveller Aug 2013 #83

Well, people certainly try to shame others into it get the red out Aug 2013 #148

Wait a minute shenmue Aug 2013 #79

Or pensions. nt Dreamer Tatum Aug 2013 #80

Holy shit, imagine how many kids I'd have had if my IQ was 100 laundry_queen Aug 2013 #81

Yet 57% women with university degrees have children mainer Aug 2013 #84

Having a degree does not make you smart. There's a big difference. Dawgs Aug 2013 #96

Well, exactly! But that's the metric the study used mainer Aug 2013 #99

Regardless, having a child these days is not smart. It's a thoughtless, and sometimes selfish, act. Dawgs Aug 2013 #119

Having a child is not necessarily "thoughtless" mainer Aug 2013 #125

How old are your children, because I'm probably not talking about you? Dawgs Aug 2013 #129

I'm 60, and I have a wonderful career mainer Aug 2013 #130

Okay, so you're decision was 30 years ago. My initial comment was regarding present day. n/t Dawgs Aug 2013 #131

30 years ago, I knew Paul Ehrlich mainer Aug 2013 #145

Except the world is in much dire straits now. Dawgs Aug 2013 #181

Every generation thinks the world is in dire straits mainer Aug 2013 #185

We are humans. We have emotions. We are not robots. If you don't want to have children that's liberal_at_heart Aug 2013 #143

I think that may be what helped prompt the idea for the study, but freeplessinseattle Aug 2013 #121

Unless they actually measured IQ, which I doubt, they're using college as their metric mainer Aug 2013 #122

Maybe it all has to do with marital status? mainer Aug 2013 #85

arrogance and self righteousness seem to increase with IQ. liberal_at_heart Aug 2013 #88

And there is no arrogance or self-righteousness kiva Aug 2013 #102

I honestly find that less-smart types tend to be FAR more arrogant and self-righteous anneboleyn Aug 2013 #110

If you are saying MDs are not arrogant then you don't know many surgeons AngryAmish Aug 2013 #118

It's not an either/or thing though, thanks be REP Aug 2013 #111

I've seen plenty of arrogant, self righteous people right here on DU. liberal_at_heart Aug 2013 #127

I prefer that to homophobes, racists, anti-abortnoids, etc personally REP Aug 2013 #142

Neither is acceptable to me. liberal_at_heart Aug 2013 #146

I don't mind the unmarried, the childfree, or the areligious REP Aug 2013 #152

You don't think the article in the OP has an agenda? liberal_at_heart Aug 2013 #157

You mean push choices like saying kiva Aug 2013 #180

Or "you'll change your mind" or "you're just selfish!" or ad infitnitum REP Aug 2013 #182

The first one always makes me want to say, kiva Aug 2013 #184

It always makes me want to point out there's no history of Alzheimer's in my family. REP Aug 2013 #186

It's a discussion that needs to take place. kiva Aug 2013 #187

Definitions please get the red out Aug 2013 #160

As a mother.. all I can say is... sigh.. Peacetrain Aug 2013 #104

What kind of idiot publication posts an article with that headline? Hekate Aug 2013 #105

I'm 52, and I will be lucky Politicalboi Aug 2013 #113

Well, that explains why I still have no urge at age 41 lol freeplessinseattle Aug 2013 #116

These are women with the potential for big adventurous interesting lives. ananda Aug 2013 #124

I've had a big, adventurous, interesting life mainer Aug 2013 #128

Being a mom is a great adventure, and being a mom does not mean that is all you will liberal_at_heart Aug 2013 #132

As a career woman, I think that being a mom is the greatest adventure of all mainer Aug 2013 #175

I'm wondering... Oilwellian Aug 2013 #126

Whoever wrote this article is an idiot. It makes it sound as if there's nothing between raccoon Aug 2013 #136

Excellent point get the red out Aug 2013 #156

Maybe it could mean that women with a higher IQ only care about themselves where as women with GalaxyHunter Aug 2013 #144

Does having a career = selfish? get the red out Aug 2013 #154

I understand there are some who just don't simply want to have children. GalaxyHunter Aug 2013 #159

And that could be argued against get the red out Aug 2013 #163

I agree GalaxyHunter Aug 2013 #164

You guys realize your giving RWers proof of "liberal snobbery"? AZ Progressive Aug 2013 #169

I'm not even sure they're justified calling it "higher IQs" mainer Aug 2013 #171

Do you really think that will make any difference? It's like the President pissing away his first Egalitarian Thug Aug 2013 #190

I disagree. pintobean Aug 2013 #192

If you don't want children, don't have children mainer Aug 2013 #173

Informed choice is important felix_numinous Aug 2013 #174

At age eight I predicted I would not have children. WCLinolVir Aug 2013 #176

Dunno about babies but inflammatory titles sure are... Sotf Aug 2013 #191