Yo, DU. I think we all need to take a deep breath, just for a moment, to remember

[Ms. Toad]

51. Trans* people - and to a lesser extent allies

live this every day of our lives - listening to the lunchroom chatter at work when Ann Coulter comes on and the mAnn Coulter jokes start, sitting through family members hateful comments about the "he/she" while you are still invisible to them, grieving the loss of a beloved member of your community - simultaneously with reports from the media repeatedly misgendering her and fixating on the "odd" clothing she was wearing and her male genitalia when she was discovered tied to a concrete block at the bottom of a local reservoir.

When something brings trans* issues to the headlines, it comes to us with that daily backdrop of painful noise. In addition, DU has a shameful history of telling LGBT individuals to stop being so demanding. To stop insisting on getting magic ponies. For the good of the cause - because we don't want to give ammunition to our enemies, or because now is not the right time, or whatever the excuse of the day is to tell us to be quiet. Often - at least by people trying to be polite - directed at both sides.

But that is like telling a bullied person and the bully that both of them need to behave more politely. That is why we hear you saying "shut the fuck up." Because that is how it feels to someone who is being bullied when they are told that they need to behave more politely.