My Dad Passed Away This Morning [View all]
He was in the hospital and really bad off a few weeks ago when I flew to the East Coast to see him. I feared it would be the last time I ever saw him alive, so I made sure we got a chance to talk one on one.
He had surgery, it went very well, and I was filled with hope that at 80 perhaps he wasn't done and might live another 10 years. It wasn't meant to be.
My family has never been really close, but I certainly love my Dad and I cherish all that he did for us five kids. I never missed a meal growing up, the mortgage got paid, so I got to grow up in the same house and neighborhood and school district. During dark times when my parents were apart, but never separated or divorced, my Dad was the Ted Kramer (Kramer Versus Kramer reference) who took care of me, my younger brother, and one older sister still at home.
I can even remember a couple of trips that summer to visit my maternal Grandmother. She was an odd woman, and for several reasons--not the least of which was that she was an unabashed Republican and would probably be a Teabagger were she alive today. It was a very strained set of visits with her daughter astray and her son-in-law whom she clearly never liked bringing the Grandkids, but my Dad endured it to let her see her Grandkids. My Dad was a Democrat through and through, but he never confronted her for her wacky ideas, and she had some truly wacky ideas.
My Dad retired from Amtrak, and before there was an Amtrak he worked for Washington Terminal Company. He worked a couple of different jobs for Washington Terminal and Amtrak, but he was a ticket agent at Union Station in Washington D.C. for as long as I could ever remember. My Dad, my Mom, and us kids at home got to ride the trains for free, along certain routes. Got to ride all the way up to Boston once, out to Cincinnati and back, and Baltimore, Philly, New York a number of times. Really developed a love for the trains, but I'm not one of those train nuts who videos trains going by. My Dad and I chuckled at train nuts, but on some level I get why they love to video trains.
In a weird roundabout way, during a Bring Your Kid To Work Day, he introduced me to computers and perhaps unknowingly planted the programming bug that led me to go into IT and become an application programmer. 30 or 35 years later, and I still vividly remember it and the impact it had on me. This was one of the things I made sure I shared with my Dad when I saw him. I told him how much I appreciated it, whether accidental or intentional, and it was very much a gift that I cherished. Sending five kids to college just wasn't going to happen, but for at least a time three of us were living at home while attending college. I still feel the gift of doing something I love to do is perhaps the greatest gift I could ask.
After being adopted, then going to school at a Catholic Military School in the 30s and 40s, I know my Dad had a really rough childhood. Over the years, there were some things he shared with me. Other things he shared with my brother. Probably other things I didn't want to know.
My Dad was a smart aleck who always made me laugh, and that is definitely something I either inherited or developed from him. Another precious gift from him.
I was anticipating his passing, but I wasn't prepared. I don't think anything can prepare you. When I got the call from my sister, I knew. Had to let it go to VoiceMail, listen, and call back. Could not even function the rest of the day, so I had to leave early. Felt I was in a daze just floating through the day. Spent the day with my wife and kids.
At 80, with health issues he'd been battling for years, I think my Dad fought hard and beat the odds against him.
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