Largest Gun Study Ever: More Guns, More Murder

[Squinch]

151. Of course you are right. To conclude otherwise is just insane. But many of our DU friends will

tie their brains in knots with their cognitive dissonance, and swear with a straight face that it isn't true.

And shall we make a little bingo board of their "reasons?"

"Suicide data changes it all. Suicide gun deaths aren't really deaths. They're ... something else, undeath-like."

"You described the length of the barrel of the gunz wrong, therefore you can't talk about this. That's the rules."

"Those tens of thousands of gun deaths? They're statistical glitches because all gun owners are responsible."

"You aren't allowed to talk about guns until you cure all the social ills connected to ________" Fill in any of the following: mental illness, poverty, war, crime, social inequality, climate change, breathing in and out.

"They spelled gunz wrong in paragraph 132, so therefore the whole study is lies! Lies I tell you!"

"All we need is a mandatory, taxpayer-funded gun safety course for all school children so that my hobby won't be so derned deadly anymore. It's the schools, dammit! Not the gunz!"

"You're so stupid! I'm not a member of the NRA and you thought I was! Now, let me espouse every NRA talking point in my next sentence."

"This wouldn't be a problem if everybody was required to buy a gun."

"Don't talk to me about Australia. They talk funny and hate liberty."

"The love of gunz is the Mercan way. Nothing anyone can do to change that, so don't even try. There have been some gun laws and there are still gun deaths, so it's time to give up on this effort."

"More guns mean more deaths? Bah! Next thing you're going to tell me that the sky is blue. You're such a dumbass."

"You're talking about guns when you should be talking about other liberal topics. Stop it and talk about the right things."