FBI anti-terrorism expert: TSA is useless

[HopeHoops]

14. I keep telling people - take-out chopsticks, 40 grit sandpaper, and 5 minutes in the bathroom.

If the chopsticks are in your sock or other tight clothing along the seem of the pants, they won't get picked up even with a patdown (don't put them in your naughty bits region - they DO touch that!)

40 Grit sandpaper, no problem - back pocket. Five minutes in the bathroom, nothing suspicious, and then WOW! You've got two long pointy objects that can in fact easily kill someone. When you're done being a terrorist with them, just leave them on the styrofoam lunch tray and your flight attendant will politely dispose of them for you - that is if you paid extra to get a meal.

Oh, and if you're flight or connecting flight is coming out of the Texas area, order a Shiner Boch at 30,000 feet. They foam over like a vinegar and baking soda volcano and very little is actually lost (mostly air), but then they'll give you a SECOND one to replace the defective one. This will do the same thing, but hey, it's not bad stuff (but will give you the fruity toots).