"Why The South Is More Violent Than The Rest Of America"

[LiberalLoner]

143. Oh I totally understand about the crass thing. I am from Montana and

My family on my Moms side were some of the first settlers so I am Montana through and through.

The first time I took my DH (from NY) to Montana and he spent time around that culture, he said, "Now I understand you better!" Yeah, we tend to be crass and crude.

When I was living in the Deep South, I found I was, here and there, offending people and making mistakes and I didn't have the slightest clue why. All I knew was that I was just wrong wrong wrong all the time and I felt so ashamed and unwanted.

I came to the conclusion that people from the south grow up being taught a lot of rules about things, that there is a proper way and an improper way to do things, to think about things, to wear things, etc. I felt as if I had missed a decade or more of vital education I would need to fit in there, and I despaired of ever catching up, and stopped trying, stayed mostly to myself. I admired southern people for their class and refinement and intricate, complex culture, but I knew I could try as hard as I could and still never fit in.

In Montana, there isn't as much of a consensus about things. We are still a young state, still pioneers a little bit. On the other hand you can be as weird as you want to be and Montanans will pretty much accept you anyway.

It makes me sad that you were uncomfortable in my home region. I'm sorry. I always thought of our people as being the kind of people who accept newcomers and treat them kindly and help them if they need help, but I guess others don't see us that way.

It's awfully hard to bridge, the culture divides in our own country.

Maybe Dorothy was right when she said, "There's no place like home."