General Discussion

malaise

(296,753 posts)

126. Society warped it

Sat Sep 21, 2013, 10:29 AM

Sep 2013

You were not acceptable for public display - on TV, you were not beautiful, etc. that was the official meme and way too many people of African ethnicity bought the Kool-Aid and literally hate their hair. What kind of dolls do people buy for their children. Shouldn't the dolls look like the children. A lot of this crap is about a lack of self- esteem. I was lucky - my best friend's mother told me I would be a beautiful woman when I was a little girl and when one of my friends was entering a beauty contest my father simply held a family contest and declared that we were all Miss Worlds. You have to really be comfortable with who you are not to drink the Kool-Aid and there is not just establishment hatred of us but many of us hate ourselves.

Here's a true story. Decades ago a lady I knew won a scholarship to a prestigious catholic school in the Caribbean. When it was time for the Christmas play she asked the nun if she could be an angel. The nun's response - Tut tut child have you ever seen a black angel. She told us that story when she was in her late 40s. It still hurt..

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Miss Dominica-Natural Hair Beauty Queen (Miss World 2013) [View all] malaise Sep 2013 OP

She's gorgeous. Natural hair or no. But it's refreshing to see nevertheless. n/t winterpark Sep 2013 #1

Yes you have to notice natural hair these days malaise Sep 2013 #2

Yep. She is drop dead gorgeous, PERIOD. nt bluestate10 Sep 2013 #171

Her hair is spectacular. Sheldon Cooper Sep 2013 #3

Let me ask you a simple question malaise Sep 2013 #8

To be honest, I really wouldn't know what is natural and what isn't. Sheldon Cooper Sep 2013 #13

Lots of people have problems with natural African hair malaise Sep 2013 #76

Okay, thanks for the info. Sheldon Cooper Sep 2013 #89

The whole .......... GOOD HAIR ....... thing!!! MADem Sep 2013 #104

"good hair" from Chris Rock: a kennedy Sep 2013 #142

Mrs. Obama could explain it. roody Sep 2013 #130

Ron Glass... AnneD Sep 2013 #24

Ha! I remember that. River and Zoe's reactions were priceless. NuclearDem Sep 2013 #42

Perfect answer Catherine Vincent Sep 2013 #26

You should have seen the look on his face malaise Sep 2013 #77

*SNORT* CatWoman Sep 2013 #49

Ha malaise Sep 2013 #78

Melissa Harris Perry had some nice braids the last time I saw her... MADem Sep 2013 #105

I hate her braids - they are visibly fake malaise Sep 2013 #108

Exactly. I have an issue with braids as well. First, they strain the neck because too many women add Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #111

Susan Taylor from Essence wore braids for decades malaise Sep 2013 #117

That's it! I couldn't think of her name, but yes. Susan Taylor is a great example. Another example Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #127

Now that is self hatred malaise Sep 2013 #129

i remember seeing this and never realized this is what could happen JI7 Sep 2013 #156

Yes. Chris Rock's movie "Good Hair" explains it well. The harsh chemicals in relaxers are actually Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #167

Steve Harvey called braids an "instant face lift" the other day.... MADem Sep 2013 #162

He's right but not all persons had those very tight braids malaise Sep 2013 #164

I know, he was making a joke.... MADem Sep 2013 #175

Well, I dunno--I think they look good. MADem Sep 2013 #131

Damn, she's beautiful! HappyMe Sep 2013 #4

Beautiful madokie Sep 2013 #5

wow leftyohiolib Sep 2013 #6

She's beautiful and her hair looks beautiful cali Sep 2013 #7

Lovely island malaise Sep 2013 #10

I love Domenica. Love the interior and the biodeversity and the black sand cali Sep 2013 #14

Hey, I've been to Dominica too! RevStPatrick Sep 2013 #16

Same here. Hiked up the unforgettable Valley of Desolation. FSogol Sep 2013 #17

I never swam in the sea in Dominica malaise Sep 2013 #74

with a face like that . . . treestar Sep 2013 #9

I'll have a heart attack if she wins malaise Sep 2013 #11

A real stunner, hair and all. I'd say I wish I was 40 yrs younger... Eleanors38 Sep 2013 #133

She's beautiful! Sissyk Sep 2013 #12

she's beautiful samsingh Sep 2013 #15

What a beauty. Skidmore Sep 2013 #18

Why hide who you are? Her hair is beautiful. alfredo Sep 2013 #19

Ask Imus and his gang malaise Sep 2013 #46

Imus is a dinosaur. alfredo Sep 2013 #100

She deserves to win, she has my vote, but I don't follow these either! joanbarnes Sep 2013 #20

I wish Michelle Obama would let her hair go natural. For health reasons. Dems to Win Sep 2013 #21

LOL... BronxBoy Sep 2013 #25

She would get criticized for Mira Sep 2013 #30

Remember when former congresswoman Cynthia McKinney tried it? ecstatic Sep 2013 #32

She was my former Rep, too! In fact, I was just talking about her and natural hair Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #36

Yes, that still makes me angry. Dems to Win Sep 2013 #41

I think Michelle will allow her hair to "go curly" after she's out of the White House. Her daughters Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #112

I agree. But you and I both know why the First Lady can't go natural. Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #33

I agree with everything you've said. AND... Dems to Win Sep 2013 #39

Very Good Post! BronxBoy Sep 2013 #53

I wish more of them did. It was the Europeans who drummed these images into our head since birth Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #113

+1 JustAnotherGen Sep 2013 #124

The men seemed to have escaped entirely treestar Sep 2013 #121

Yep. A sad story... Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #132

IMO Miss Dominica's hair looks nice. treestar Sep 2013 #137

Yes, I agree. It's changing, too. On YouTube, there's misogyny from some popular black male Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #141

A lot of our men and young boys do not associate beauty with malaise Sep 2013 #153

You know why there is a rejection of weaves and wigs malaise Sep 2013 #72

Exactly!! Those edges! GONE!!! Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #114

Yes, remember how little Gabby got a lot of flak for her hair Catherine Vincent Sep 2013 #96

So do I but they would eat her alive malaise Sep 2013 #70

Sometime ago NOLALady Sep 2013 #103

Very interesting, thanks for chiming in Dems to Win Sep 2013 #148

Some will usually NOLALady Sep 2013 #178

Do we know for sure that's her hair? MADem Sep 2013 #106

Good question. Maybe not? Dems to Win Sep 2013 #150

It is one of the most political gender issues and has been long before abolition malaise Sep 2013 #155

Anytime anyone is putting crap on their head that is absorbed into their bodies for the sake of MADem Sep 2013 #161

Agree 100%. I support wash-and-go hair for everyone, fashion can take a hike Dems to Win Sep 2013 #179

Happiness is the ultimate beauty. MADem Sep 2013 #180

stunned with her beauty heaven05 Sep 2013 #22

she made it to the top 12 talent, she is a ballerina, so maybe she has a chance. grantcart Sep 2013 #23

We'll see malaise Sep 2013 #75

Exactly. Here is an example of how European standards of beauty has impacted people of color Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #116

Brazil may have the most problems linked to race in our entire hemisphere and malaise Sep 2013 #119

Exactly!! My friend from Sri Lanka said the same thing. Same problems. Same caste system... Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #122

Decades ago we were discussing Garveyism in a classroom malaise Sep 2013 #128

Wasn't there a similar situation ann--- Sep 2013 #27

That was Gabby Douglas, and she wasn't natural. She wore her hair relaxed, but Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #34

You're right, I didn't understand the fuss about Gabby's hair. Dems to Win Sep 2013 #38

I say, she should let all of it be "curly". :) Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #110

And from women of her own ethnicity malaise Sep 2013 #73

I went natural about 5 or 6 years ago CatWoman Sep 2013 #28

I love it! Don't you??? Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #35

yup CatWoman Sep 2013 #51

I went natural nearly 20 years ago. Nedsdag Sep 2013 #63

Hey. NOLALady Sep 2013 #102

the final straw for me CatWoman Sep 2013 #147

Aw! Iggo Sep 2013 #29

YES!!! My hair looks just like that! Makes me proud. I wish more black women... Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #31

Dayum, she's BEAUTIFUL! calimary Sep 2013 #37

Why is she the only contestant of African ancestry malaise Sep 2013 #91

WOW! She is stunningly beautiful - lynne Sep 2013 #40

and I believe you malaise Sep 2013 #92

Good heavens, she's a knockout! Aerows Sep 2013 #43

my goodness, that face would still look beautiful even with no hair..but I get your point. Jefferson23 Sep 2013 #44

She is strikingly beautiful. Beacool Sep 2013 #45

Mine is also natural but how many folks do you see accepted with malaise Sep 2013 #47

I've always liked Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton's hair. Dems to Win Sep 2013 #55

Here's her pic.. I love her hair SoCalDem Sep 2013 #58

I don't like mine that short malaise Sep 2013 #69

There is no option when it's short like that, but it sure would be easy SoCalDem Sep 2013 #80

I cut mine off three years ago malaise Sep 2013 #81

There are a couple of women at work who wear it natural and they look great. Beacool Sep 2013 #64

That is refreshing to hear. I do think things are changing. I wish they would change faster in the Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #118

She's so gorgeous Aerows Sep 2013 #160

That is true but women who wear natural hair are viewed as malaise Sep 2013 #163

I would love to see the BS concept of "good" and "bad" hair put to rest. Solly Mack Sep 2013 #48

adorable <3 La Lioness Priyanka Sep 2013 #52

Thank you, La Lioness Priyanka. Solly Mack Sep 2013 #54

I recommend seeing the movie Good Hair... AnneD Sep 2013 #65

Worth watching. Solly Mack Sep 2013 #66

This message was self-deleted by its author KoKo Sep 2013 #95

Society warped it malaise Sep 2013 #126

OMG.... AnneD Sep 2013 #182

That has changed malaise Sep 2013 #183

My granddaughter Sofia's hair is trending that way, too, Blue_In_AK Sep 2013 #57

Sofia is beautiful and I love her curls. Solly Mack Sep 2013 #59

Beautiful! Dems to Win Sep 2013 #62

That is also my hope. Solly Mack Sep 2013 #67

What a beauty malaise Sep 2013 #71

She's spoiled rotten. :) Solly Mack Sep 2013 #85

Ha -she's adorable malaise Sep 2013 #86

I will. She will be here in November to spend time with me. Solly Mack Sep 2013 #87

She is beautiful. She and I have exactly the same hair texture and style! Wouldn't change for anyone Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #115

I've been reading the thread and I just want to 'Thank' both you and malaise Solly Mack Sep 2013 #157

You're welcome malaise Sep 2013 #165

You're quite welcome. I find it a fascinating topic and hope it helps people understand more. Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #168

so stunning. love her hair and indeed it is a good sign that she is wearing it natural La Lioness Priyanka Sep 2013 #50

So fine... whatchamacallit Sep 2013 #56

Stunningly beautiful. I hope she wins. panader0 Sep 2013 #60

My wife's hair looks like this. kwassa Sep 2013 #61

"I cut her hair for awhile!" Kwassa, my opinion of you just went up about 1000 notches Number23 Sep 2013 #88

LOL malaise Sep 2013 #90

Oh, shit! I need to find a husband like you! You cut your black wife's hair?!?!? PRAISE YOU!!! Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #120

love her hair Liberal_in_LA Sep 2013 #68

I love natural hair! libodem Sep 2013 #79

she would look good Bald also JI7 Sep 2013 #82

She's from Dominica not Dominican Republic malaise Sep 2013 #84

I just noticed she was from the Island of Dominica - lynne Sep 2013 #93

Lovely island malaise Sep 2013 #94

Her hair is lovely. David__77 Sep 2013 #83

Have you noticed de Blasio's kids malaise Sep 2013 #166

Yes. You know Bloomberg made a big deal out of this during the campaign. Accused de Blasio of racism Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #169

Bloomberg is a fugging lunatic -- imagine calling a man malaise Sep 2013 #172

Yeah, I don't understand her hair at all. It's almost gone. It's so thin and lifeless. Why Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #181

reminds me of Chris Rock's docu "The Good Hair" NuttyFluffers Sep 2013 #97

The chemicals are a billion dollar industry malaise Sep 2013 #109

Leslassa Amour-Shillingford is beautiful as is her hair~ Cha Sep 2013 #98

Woweee! woolldog Sep 2013 #99

Nice looking lady, but that pic has been photoshopped way too much. edbermac Sep 2013 #101

YES!! YES!! YES!!! Folks, this is black hair in its natural state. Note: not all blacks have the Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #125

Very beautiful woman. nt icymist Sep 2013 #107

Caribbean Queen ...... now we're sharing the same dream marmar Sep 2013 #123

LOL malaise Sep 2013 #134

Just recently a lovely little girl with neat, not too long hair tblue37 Sep 2013 #135

Well rastas won that argument in Jamaica malaise Sep 2013 #136

That's just ridiculous!!! Beacool Sep 2013 #139

Saw that, and it just broke my heart...... a kennedy Sep 2013 #143

For those who still may need to understand this debate, remember Brown v. Board of Education? Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #138

TV, movies, all the socializing agencies malaise Sep 2013 #140

Yep, yep, I agree! All of it. Our families who can't accept our natural hair. Our churches. Liberal_Stalwart71 Sep 2013 #144

Both are lovely but I know exactly what you mean malaise Sep 2013 #145

Looks soft, like feathers LittleBlue Sep 2013 #146

Freedom for the Sisters! Dems to Win Sep 2013 #149

Yes attitudes have to change malaise Sep 2013 #152

Hmmm. Black women are still encumbered by awful hair care practices, as Dems to Win Sep 2013 #151

Absolutely gorgeous. JaneyVee Sep 2013 #154

Marry me!! Eleanors38 Sep 2013 #158

She is beautiful. jwirr Sep 2013 #159

Oh my god, an Indian Miss American, now a Black Miss World. Dynamite is surely bluestate10 Sep 2013 #170

Neither has won the contest malaise Sep 2013 #173

She's probably the only contestant there with natural hair lunamagica Sep 2013 #174

i certainly agree with the judges... madrchsod Sep 2013 #176

The final is next week malaise Sep 2013 #177