Miss Dominica-Natural Hair Beauty Queen (Miss World 2013)

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

132. Yep. A sad story...

My friend came for a visit and brought her 15 year old son with her. She was so happy because she had finally decided to go natural and wanted me to see her hair and maybe get some tips about styles and products. Well, we're sitting discussing options that she could consider, including cutting the rest of the relaxer out of her hair, and going short short short.

Well, her son goes something like: my mother used to be pretty and now she's ugly!! I was stunned! He was serious, though he said it with a smile. She looked at him, then looked at me, my mouth still opened. She said that he hated her hair now. He told her that she should get a relaxer and it should be pretty, long and straight...LIKE BEYONCE'S!!! I screamed!!! WHAT!?!?!?! Do men not know or understand that Beyonce is the queen of weaves, braids and wigs? People really think that's her hair??!?!? WHAT?!?!?!?

So I turn to the kid and ask him: well, you think your mother's hair is ugly. What do you think of YOUR own hair?

He goes: Well, men can get away with it. We can keep our hair short. We don't have to straighten our hair. Women should straighten their hair so that it looks long and silky, not nappy and ugly.

Honestly, I was so stunned. So hurt. I asked him: So what do you think of MY hair? He says, your hair is o.k., but you would be even prettier if you relaxed your hair.

I proceeded to take him through a litany of YouTube videos of gorgeous black women with long, very long, natural hair. I showed him women with short styles as well. YouTube has been a savior for women of color who want to go natural because there is so much information. There are conferences, meetings (in fact, there's one in D.C. this afternoon that I'm attending in Georgetown). There's simply way too much information to remain ignorant on this issue.

So after taking this young many through all these images of beautiful nappy heads of hair, I asked him if he felt the same way. He said yes. He can't help it. That's what he sees in magazines. On TV. That is beautiful. Hair blowing in the wind. Long, flowing hair. Not hair that stands up straight and can be tough to comb.

For black women, Beyonce and Rihanna are the only two black women that black women can strive to be. They represent our standard of beauty---the closest to white that we'll ever be. And look at Beyonce. She herself struggles with her own self beauty. She cut her hair only to cover it up again with wigs and weaves after receiving negative feedback from a few people in the black community. SAD!! If Beyonce herself struggles with trying to live up to some unattainable standard of beauty, then imagine how your average medium or dark-skinned black women with natural hair goes through. Feeling a lot like Cynthia McKinney, I'm sure.

Someone suggested that Michelle Obama show off her natural hair. I want her to do that, too: a dark-skinned sister wearing her hair in its natural state; the most popular figure in American culture right now. What a powerful statement that would be. Imagine how Rush Limbaugh would ridicule her. Imagine the racists, their hatred unyielding. Imagine the black people who may be uncomfortable with First Lady revealing our "truth," that our hair isn't naturally straight and flowing. Some of us would scream the loudest. What would Don Lemon say. What would Sheryl Underwood or Wendy Williams say? Larry Elder? All those black conservatives who coon for white conservatives on Faux News and hate being who they are? How would they take the First Lady in her natural glory?

At any rate, black men are getting better. I used to have issues getting dates because of my hair. I know that I'm beautiful, so I keep pushing, but when I wore my hair very long and straight, men would flock to me. Black men don't worry because they are not hammered with similar standards. In fact, now dark-skinned black men are pursued and favored. They are desired. And so on. It used to be that light-skinned black men were sought after, but not anymore.

Anyway, this topic is quite fascinating to me. I could go on and on, but I won't.

I just hope things continue to change in the right direction.