Grandfather Writes Letter To His Daughter After She Kicks Out His Gay Grandson

[SharonAnn]

32. The only problem is that the tone of his letter is so accusing that it doesn't give her room to

The only problem is that the tone of his letter is so accusing that it doesn't give her room to reconsider and her "automatic" response will be to defend herself. And when she does that, she will reinforce her belief that "she was right" and it will be even harder for her to change her mind.

I've learned over the years, after many things of this kind, that "a soft answer turn away wrath" and gives the person room to reconsider. We have to think about whether we want to justify our own cause by accusing others and laying blame on them or whether we want that person to open up their heart and try to change it.

For example: "I'm sorry to hear that you've asked Chad to leave your house because he "came out" and told you that he is gay. Chad is a wonderful young man and you can proud of the person he is, even though you're shocked about his sexual orientation. I believe that our sexual orientation is something we are born with and that he could no more choose it than he could choose his hair color or eye color. I know that some religions condemn people for having this orientation but I cannot believe God condemns any of us because of something we cannot change.

Please give serious thought to this and I hope you can find it in your heart to accept him for the wonderful person he is. In the meantime, I treasure my wonderful grandson and he will always have a place in my heart and in my family."

This gives the grandfather the opportunity to stand up for Chad, to express his feelings about this, and doesn't directly criticize the daughter. And it doesn't disown her but keeps the door open for a future conversation or relationship if she wants to have one.