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HockeyMom

(14,337 posts)

105. I was my Mom's Health Proxy

Thu Oct 3, 2013, 08:27 PM

Oct 2013

She also had a DNR and was 9 years older than I am now. Yes, she had cancer. Before she went into the hospital, she made her own funeral arrangements. She said, "I have lived my life and do not want to become a science experiment to see how long the medical field can keep me alive." "If you do not go along with my wishes and try to keep me alive, I will haunt you for as long as you live." She went into cardiac arrest in the hospital and nothing was done with her DNR. Clear enough? SAVE HER?. No, I didn't. My Uncle was 68 and refused an operation to save his life. His children tried to fight his decision and have him declared mentally incompetent. SELFISH. It was his life, and my Mom's, and it was their death and family should RESPECT their wishes to REFUSE TREATMENT. Why should STRANGERS also have any say with how people choose to die?

Given my Uncle's experience, and the push for medical care, I don't need that. I need a Living Will and a DNR much more. In just my very brief reading of Medicare, I do think it does address this. Oh, the HORROR of that! Death Panels like the Repukes talk about?

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Finally got my Health Insurance. The Affordable Care Act isn't that good. [View all] grantcart Oct 2013 OP

This message was self-deleted by its author Squinch Oct 2013 #1

Wow. That is great for you. and the rest of us. I know there are still things that need to Hoyt Oct 2013 #2

...oops. Missed that second line. But I read the WHOLE rest of it, I swear! Squinch Oct 2013 #3

Thank you so much grantcart for your very informative post pnwmom Oct 2013 #4

well I was a strong supporter of it after I learned that they would control the Medical Loss Ratio grantcart Oct 2013 #7

I'll be stuck w bronze plan with 40% out of pocket WillYourVoteBCounted Oct 2013 #120

If you go to the relevant page 13 grantcart Oct 2013 #133

When you said "10,000" maximum that isn't a cap is it? Maraya1969 Oct 2013 #145

It means maximum out-of-pocket Autumn Colors Oct 2013 #150

Oh, OK... IthinkThereforeIAM Oct 2013 #160

Kicking so more people see this. nt riqster Oct 2013 #5

k&r HappyMe Oct 2013 #6

Wow, that seems equivalent to the cost of high-quality employer insurance frazzled Oct 2013 #8

well copay for hospital is $ 500 a day but I am fine with that grantcart Oct 2013 #12

That's $10k for the whole year, right? Nye Bevan Oct 2013 #20

I assume so but won't know all the details until I get the fine print grantcart Oct 2013 #23

"The highest plan you can afford with subsidies" might not always be the best choice. missingthebigdog Oct 2013 #42

Okay, but if you're 59 and have diabetes ... frazzled Oct 2013 #45

I absolutely agree that if you are going to utilize it heavily, missingthebigdog Oct 2013 #68

K&R! Whisp Oct 2013 #9

K&R B Calm Oct 2013 #10

Good to hear. SalviaBlue Oct 2013 #11

Well I prefer 'sardonic understatement', lol, but thanks. grantcart Oct 2013 #14

$444 is what you'll pay each month? Puzzledtraveller Oct 2013 #13

for me an Mrs. grantcart grantcart Oct 2013 #16

I wonder what my total plan cost is. Puzzledtraveller Oct 2013 #22

Ah... let me guess, Union job? druidity33 Oct 2013 #103

K&R for Unions. The ACA too. dotymed Oct 2013 #152

This is great news for you and your wife, grant! sheshe2 Oct 2013 #15

Woohoo! Thanks for posting. judesedit Oct 2013 #17

Thanks for the report. Wish I could do this. freshwest Oct 2013 #18

It is a start Nimyth Oct 2013 #19

Welcome to DU. grantcart Oct 2013 #21

Congrats. Daniel537 Oct 2013 #24

Agreed. Repubs are trying to sabotage the ACA via refusing Medicaid expansion. riqster Oct 2013 #35

Kick and Rec Kingofalldems Oct 2013 #25

Can you imagine how this will translate to economic growth? Old and In the Way Oct 2013 #26

Or how the entire medical industry will have 10 million paying customers dumped on grantcart Oct 2013 #38

we are licking our chops here in chicago. mopinko Oct 2013 #127

Congrats. But do you resent burning $5k a yr on ins? leftstreet Oct 2013 #27

I already pay 12K a year. Through my employer plan. riqster Oct 2013 #29

Well that should change by 2018 leftstreet Oct 2013 #33

My employer pays the premiums, but we have a 12K deductible. riqster Oct 2013 #40

For the people who's employer offers coverage Puzzledtraveller Oct 2013 #41

Describes it perfectly. riqster Oct 2013 #67

Of course not. Based on the income it is very fair. grantcart Oct 2013 #31

Well that's cool leftstreet Oct 2013 #37

on 50 grand income questionseverything Oct 2013 #69

a little misunderstanding grantcart Oct 2013 #74

How much would he have to burn in a Universal/Single Payor system?? cbdo2007 Oct 2013 #63

Would you be asking the same question if it was taxes paid for health coverage? Ikonoklast Oct 2013 #83

If we were both to get sick same year, we'd need to come up with a minimum 3Ok to pay blue cross for DeschutesRiver Oct 2013 #90

Spreading outside of DU (with the author's permission) riqster Oct 2013 #28

I don't know why I never realized that YOU were Mr. Blunt & Cranky. You're awesome. kestrel91316 Oct 2013 #59

Thank you! riqster Oct 2013 #65

I never looked at your profile. It's right there, lol. kestrel91316 Oct 2013 #71

3 a.m. EST, CST, MST or PST, because mrmpa Oct 2013 #30

3 am Eastern. grantcart Oct 2013 #34

Same here in South Cackalackey. StandingInLeftField Oct 2013 #171

Congrats! Good post. n/t Benton D Struckcheon Oct 2013 #32

Excellent, very happy for you. I enjoy reading how in specifics ACA is making such a difference Jefferson23 Oct 2013 #36

K&R BumRushDaShow Oct 2013 #39

you rock, grantcart! BlancheSplanchnik Oct 2013 #43

Fabulous! I'm in NC, so I'm nervous... OneGrassRoot Oct 2013 #44

Experian wasn't open? That's a credit reporting agency. denverbill Oct 2013 #46

They weren't open at 3:00 am for a "live" conference call with the ACA counselor grantcart Oct 2013 #51

OK if they are using it to verify the name that makes more sense. denverbill Oct 2013 #54

They are included as trusted data sources. Puzzledtraveller Oct 2013 #56

OK, that makes sense as well now. denverbill Oct 2013 #58

Thank you, grantcart, Sissyk Oct 2013 #47

THIS is driving the freepers INSANE! Rex Oct 2013 #48

They must like spending more to get less, and hate saving money. Ikonoklast Oct 2013 #87

That was a GREAT headline tease. :) tofuandbeer Oct 2013 #49

No insurance for 3 years, HockeyMom Oct 2013 #50

I understand the need to be pro active and I got my Diabetes under control by being pro active and grantcart Oct 2013 #53

If you got hit by a car next month you'd be glad you had Medicare. n/t pnwmom Oct 2013 #72

No HockeyMom Oct 2013 #93

I didn't say you would die. If you were a mass of broken bones pnwmom Oct 2013 #99

It is the not dying that is a bitch. Curmudgeoness Oct 2013 #102

Or badly wounded but not dead IronLionZion Oct 2013 #114

If you break an arm, will you set it yourself? SheilaT Oct 2013 #82

I had food posioning 3 years ago HockeyMom Oct 2013 #94

Lots of people have had food poisoning and didn't go to the hospital. pnwmom Oct 2013 #100

Yes, you have that right. But it sounds almost like a death wish. IrishAyes Oct 2013 #124

I had food poisoning about 7 years ago davidpdx Oct 2013 #146

I was my Mom's Health Proxy HockeyMom Oct 2013 #105

I still wonder what you'll do if you break an arm or a leg. SheilaT Oct 2013 #135

I got some kind of bug bite a week ago HockeyMom Oct 2013 #174

So you really will set a broken arm or leg yourself. SheilaT Oct 2013 #175

I know what a broken bone looks like HockeyMom Oct 2013 #176

That sounds cool. Crunchy Frog Oct 2013 #182

One of the worst scenarios I can imagine is having a disabling stroke, No Vested Interest Oct 2013 #136

My father went through several strokes davidpdx Oct 2013 #149

David, I'm sorry you experienced that at the end No Vested Interest Oct 2013 #164

Well, your health must be excellent, that's good nadinbrzezinski Oct 2013 #165

kick Liberal_in_LA Oct 2013 #52

grantcart, for the self-employed are they using Lex Oct 2013 #55

I don't know. grantcart Oct 2013 #61

Thanks. Lex Oct 2013 #122

I can't imagine they would use gross income Abq_Sarah Oct 2013 #134

sounds good... awoke_in_2003 Oct 2013 #57

Thanks, great info! About that verification problem - MH1 Oct 2013 #60

I use e-verify at work..... llmart Oct 2013 #111

Wow, that's interesting. MH1 Oct 2013 #125

Yeah, I was thinking that the teabaggers...... llmart Oct 2013 #148

That is wonderful! TxDemChem Oct 2013 #62

Damn right! The AFA is far from great. It's just a baby step in the right direction. maddiemom Oct 2013 #64

You obviously didn't read the OP. He says it's a "stunning, revolutionary change" pnwmom Oct 2013 #73

to be clear it is a stunning, revolutionary change for grantcart Oct 2013 #75

My healthy 26 year old will pay half as much pnwmom Oct 2013 #77

Well, that kind of sucks Art_from_Ark Oct 2013 #106

People on Medicare ALREADY have this kind of coverage. pnwmom Oct 2013 #107

Here's the deal with my family member: Art_from_Ark Oct 2013 #110

Do you know why she's having to pay so much for drugs? pnwmom Oct 2013 #115

I don't know why, exactly, that one drug costs so much Art_from_Ark Oct 2013 #117

If she has a paid-for home, there is the option of pnwmom Oct 2013 #119

She did look into a reverse mortgage, Art_from_Ark Oct 2013 #128

She is right not to get into any kind of arrangement like that pnwmom Oct 2013 #129

I just heard from her Art_from_Ark Oct 2013 #186

I'm so glad for you both. pnwmom Oct 2013 #187

K & R SunSeeker Oct 2013 #66

So glad to hear that - TBF Oct 2013 #70

Wonderful to hear this!! K&R! hue Oct 2013 #76

Please stop spreading this propaganda. The freeper heads are exploding and the noise is keeping me Happyhippychick Oct 2013 #78

I got mine yesterday Cryptoad Oct 2013 #79

great grantcart Oct 2013 #80

$444 JustAnotherGen Oct 2013 #81

Individual results may vary. Orsino Oct 2013 #84

As soon as I get back home, I'm dumping my plan. Ikonoklast Oct 2013 #85

Well I wouldn't dump it until you have gone through the process. grantcart Oct 2013 #86

Already looked at what's available, I'll save $95 a month and get much better coverage. Ikonoklast Oct 2013 #88

Remember, it goes into effect in January, No Vested Interest Oct 2013 #140

I'm already paid up into November, the next bill from them will be my last. Ikonoklast Oct 2013 #144

Thank you, grant! Cha Oct 2013 #89

Excellent read!! TY Hulk Oct 2013 #91

nice report, thanks for all the info! n/t coeur_de_lion Oct 2013 #92

Thanks for taking so much time to convey pangaia Oct 2013 #95

WOW... humbled_opinion Oct 2013 #96

A number of things grantcart Oct 2013 #109

Interesting humbled_opinion Oct 2013 #167

Young folks can opt for catastrophic only, for about $ 1.50 a day grantcart Oct 2013 #169

Glad to hear it! Looking forward to signing up, too Maeve Oct 2013 #97

I'm still shopping the ACA, but you're right! ffr Oct 2013 #98

It is unbelievable Mnpaul Oct 2013 #101

That sounds like a glitch. Keep trying and/or phone the call center. hedda_foil Oct 2013 #141

We had a working insurance marketplace Mnpaul Oct 2013 #151

Thanks for posting. hay rick Oct 2013 #104

You had me going there with your subject title Grateful for Hope Oct 2013 #108

Good for you! llmart Oct 2013 #112

Wow. Just wow. Thank you so much for putting this together for all of us here. Hugs & nt. Hekate Oct 2013 #113

Good idea. I've been thinking the same thing chill_wind Oct 2013 #116

Awesome! 47of74 Oct 2013 #118

Drat your hide, man! IrishAyes Oct 2013 #121

Well it wasn't aimed at the home team but all the Freepers, Cave Dwellers and Trolls grantcart Oct 2013 #123

Well, a good jolt to the heart is helpful at my age! Most fun I've had all day. IrishAyes Oct 2013 #126

in that case stop by here and MFM will give you a nice bump every day grantcart Oct 2013 #132

Thanks. I subscribed. IrishAyes Oct 2013 #157

Happy for you! cilla4progress Oct 2013 #130

Thanks grant for using your enforced off time from work so Cha Oct 2013 #131

Great "how-to." Thank you! emsimon33 Oct 2013 #137

It will benefit the working poor more than anything. joshcryer Oct 2013 #138

. mzmolly Oct 2013 #139

Curious how you got a subsidy for a gold plan eridani Oct 2013 #142

Here's some info I found. DebJ Oct 2013 #153

and this also: DebJ Oct 2013 #154

Early on you are asked if you want to go straight to the plans or see if you qualify for a subsidy. grantcart Oct 2013 #155

I've been self employed in the past and insurance was always an issue Matariki Oct 2013 #143

Grant you old devil, your sarcasm is baddddddddd! davidpdx Oct 2013 #147

K & R! lonestarnot Oct 2013 #156

My rate is going down $9 PasadenaTrudy Oct 2013 #158

how much better is the coverage? grantcart Oct 2013 #159

No deductibles PasadenaTrudy Oct 2013 #166

Kick for Visibility. NYC_SKP Oct 2013 #161

I also got something amazing!! Autumn Colors Oct 2013 #162

great grantcart Oct 2013 #177

oh the horror konnie Oct 2013 #163

Suggest you use sarcasm in your OP title.... Populist_Prole Oct 2013 #168

cool. nt Deep13 Oct 2013 #170

Can someone tell me more about the ACA paying premiums? Have a lot of relatives who hate this law. tjdee Oct 2013 #172

I recommend that the best way is to go to Healthcare.gov and try for yourself grantcart Oct 2013 #173

Thank you! will definitely pass that on. nt tjdee Oct 2013 #179

Sounds pretty good to me cristianmarie533 Oct 2013 #178

good luck and welcome to DU grantcart Oct 2013 #195

Great post. SoapBox Oct 2013 #180

That's 10% of your pretax income. grahamhgreen Oct 2013 #181

What about that increased demand? beakt Oct 2013 #183

Welcome to Du, may you read and learn here. A couple points. WTF. And why are you here? uppityperson Oct 2013 #184

...and I would add cyberswede Oct 2013 #190

Hi cswede, there is that too. uppityperson Oct 2013 #192

Perhaps the most ignorant statement ever made on the subject. grantcart Oct 2013 #185

I found that in Indiana with our Tea Bagger Governor that INdemo Oct 2013 #188

Awesome post as always GC. n/t vaberella Oct 2013 #189

thanks grantcart Oct 2013 #191

Thanks for post of excellent topic. lots of good Affordable Care Act advice here. Sunlei Oct 2013 #193

thanks grantcart Oct 2013 #194