General Discussion

NotThisTime

(3,657 posts)

240. Thank you....

Wed Oct 9, 2013, 09:07 PM

Oct 2013

We just thought after four years she had been able to get this under control but those 3 were were uttered (she's a size 2/4 now) and now she's crying every night (after her games of course) and not eating.... she talked with someone today and we'll see if this is going to continue on, lessen or get better or worse.

Eating disorders suck, they never go away, I am just now convinced this will always follow her to some degree and as her parent I am afraid for her and I can't stop the way she is thinking. It's all I thought about the last few days and then this news comes out, ironically I sent her the link with the girl. It didn't sink in, she couldn't believe the school would do that, THAT girl is not fat, she didn't put the pieces together that she is so close to that girl she looks the same way.... I feel sorry for all these girls and all their parents dealing with this....

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127 pound girl-athlete given a "fat letter" to take home from school. [View all] pnwmom Oct 2013 OP

So what? NoOneMan Oct 2013 #1

So what? One of our extended family members died as a teen, from bulimia. pnwmom Oct 2013 #3

Absolutely! markpkessinger Oct 2013 #20

What a horror. Yes, dancers are particularly at risk. pnwmom Oct 2013 #24

Some of these responses are... redqueen Oct 2013 #25

Yeah, really. pnwmom Oct 2013 #38

Yeah, but against Americas number one killer on the opposite fence, hm NoOneMan Oct 2013 #41

How about the U.S. mail? Remember that? That's the better way to clue parents in. pnwmom Oct 2013 #47

Yeah, I agree with that. NoOneMan Oct 2013 #50

Except obesity isn't even In this picture. Scootaloo Oct 2013 #160

Doh! NoOneMan Oct 2013 #172

Or maybe the parents could do exactly what is done here Scootaloo Oct 2013 #177

" you DO sound as if you are arguing that the child is obese" NoOneMan Oct 2013 #181

Her parents are asking the school to stop sending the letters pnwmom Oct 2013 #190

Eating disorders are often fatal. That's what. Mariana Oct 2013 #35

As is eating too much NoOneMan Oct 2013 #42

How do you know that the letter wasn't a trigger for one of the other pnwmom Oct 2013 #51

Well oh boy we can make any shit up NoOneMan Oct 2013 #53

Right. Anorexia and bulimia are just made-up problems. pnwmom Oct 2013 #54

Post removed Post removed Oct 2013 #57

I'm not. I'm saying that you can't prove the opposite. pnwmom Oct 2013 #60

You can't prove pink unicorns don't fly NoOneMan Oct 2013 #66

Nasty. Sheldon Cooper Oct 2013 #127

I am 5'1 and 100 lbs. HockeyMom Oct 2013 #58

My elderly mother is tiny now. But she weighed more when she was stronger. pnwmom Oct 2013 #64

I weighed 98 lbs at 30 when I got pg with my first daughter HockeyMom Oct 2013 #106

I need to lose some weight, packed on about 25 pounds extra during a RKP5637 Oct 2013 #157

Actually, yes it does. jeff47 Oct 2013 #59

So this athlete specifically has an eating disorder from this letter now? NoOneMan Oct 2013 #69

So....can't handle basic probability then? jeff47 Oct 2013 #74

I can't handle making shit up so you can get outraged about it a hypothetical that isn't reality NoOneMan Oct 2013 #76

So you really can't handle basic probability then. jeff47 Oct 2013 #80

"Chance of letter leading to fat kid getting put on a diet: 0." NoOneMan Oct 2013 #83

Yes. jeff47 Oct 2013 #87

I was wrong in pretending differently than you and using different pretend statistics NoOneMan Oct 2013 #89

I'm sure digging downwards will get you out of that hole real soon now. (nt) jeff47 Oct 2013 #93

But pretending you are winning a pretend argument wont NoOneMan Oct 2013 #95

The point the parents made was to MAIL the letters, not send them home with the kids. moriah Oct 2013 #128

Her parents very reasonably are trying to get the school district pnwmom Oct 2013 #82

You might want to do a little investigation into eating disorders. cui bono Oct 2013 #150

Oh brother. Get over yourself NoOneMan Oct 2013 #152

I'm not screaming. And I'm being realistic about a very real problem. cui bono Oct 2013 #155

And Im being realistic about a problem with today's youth facing early onset diabetes NoOneMan Oct 2013 #158

So what's your issue with the letter being sent by some method other than the student? cui bono Oct 2013 #162

Nothing NoOneMan Oct 2013 #165

Unfortunately, it's still easy to find sites like those online, pnwmom Oct 2013 #191

So this particular cigarette smoker has cancer from that cigarette now? n/t moriah Oct 2013 #122

My athletic teen has a slightly lower BMI than the girl in question she also has body image issues NotThisTime Oct 2013 #238

The vast majority of teen girls have dieted, whether or not they're overweight. pnwmom Oct 2013 #239

Thank you.... NotThisTime Oct 2013 #240

It's nice to read the posts here from men who get it. pnwmom Oct 2013 #75

She's 2. They're already trying to label her via BMI. jeff47 Oct 2013 #77

That sounds well-proportioned to me. pnwmom Oct 2013 #81

Compulsive overeating is an eating disorder as well. moriah Oct 2013 #120

Except if you worked for THIS school district, HockeyMom Oct 2013 #55

Oh, wow. So it's going the way of drug testing -- test everyone, pnwmom Oct 2013 #73

You got it HockeyMom Oct 2013 #104

Douchebag post of the month. trumad Oct 2013 #91

Posts such as this can cause internet linked suicides NoOneMan Oct 2013 #94

2nd Douchebag post of the month. trumad Oct 2013 #100

Well, fuck. He hasn't responded to your second post. You suicided him. DisgustipatedinCA Oct 2013 #132

If I killed myself for someone calling me a douchebag on the internets... trumad Oct 2013 #141

I gave him big points for style. DisgustipatedinCA Oct 2013 #145

Hey, its all about probability. Girls starve themselves over school letters about their BMI NoOneMan Oct 2013 #154

you seem more like a nowhere man dude,,,,,,,,,,,, lunasun Oct 2013 #184

Maybe schools need to butt out. WinkyDink Oct 2013 #121

They tried that. Kids got fat. America got fat. America got sick. People died. Cost a fortune NoOneMan Oct 2013 #149

This is a STUPID way to get involved in issues like this. pnwmom Oct 2013 #234

So what? They might have just put an idea in that girl's head that she is too fat cui bono Oct 2013 #148

Yeah, it might have directly led to the 4th reich! Oh nooes NoOneMan Oct 2013 #151

I agree with your fashion/pop magazine comment. cui bono Oct 2013 #153

Worked up? This is hilarious NoOneMan Oct 2013 #163

We have to face it, we are a bunch of fat asses in this country quinnox Oct 2013 #2

That girl isn't a "fat ass" -- she's an athlete. The fat asses pnwmom Oct 2013 #4

this girl isn't. not even a tiny little bit. cali Oct 2013 #6

Except *she* isn't - she is an athlete, and they put her height in wrong. IdaBriggs Oct 2013 #9

Photos show a distinct lack of fat ass: LadyHawkAZ Oct 2013 #10

Fine. I'm talking in general quinnox Oct 2013 #13

Thanks! n/t pnwmom Oct 2013 #17

If she was in high school, and if I were a college recruiter. . . DinahMoeHum Oct 2013 #34

You can see her interview here. pnwmom Oct 2013 #40

I'm tempted to label anyone who thinks she is fat as an "idiot". LanternWaste Oct 2013 #39

Neither my coworker, nor I have fat ass HockeyMom Oct 2013 #133

You truly have no clue. She is a perfectly normal, healthy, athletic weight. kestrel91316 Oct 2013 #12

see my post 13 quinnox Oct 2013 #15

But the first thing you did is say "we" shovel too much food into our children. pnwmom Oct 2013 #18

And even in cases where there is a genuine weight issue . . . markpkessinger Oct 2013 #26

Absolutely. Any letter like this should have gone directly to the parents. pnwmom Oct 2013 #29

I think it's probably a case of posting without reading BainsBane Oct 2013 #28

That girl is NOT a fat ass nadinbrzezinski Oct 2013 #37

So do you just not want her to get a letter or her AND "fat asses" too? NoOneMan Oct 2013 #200

The kid is not overweight by the BMI standard. nadinbrzezinski Oct 2013 #203

Speak for yourself.. RedCappedBandit Oct 2013 #236

"Hey, FAT girl!" derby378 Oct 2013 #5

Ugh, the BMI LittleBlue Oct 2013 #7

Its sad they still use BMI. Undermines this stuff NoOneMan Oct 2013 #44

My favorite part about the stupidity that is BMI jeff47 Oct 2013 #63

Its a terrible chart built and mass distributed for the lazy... Decaffeinated Oct 2013 #146

Their screenings are obviously flawed BainsBane Oct 2013 #8

The article says they put her in as two inches shorter than she is. (nt) IdaBriggs Oct 2013 #11

Even at 2" shorter she is WELL within the normal range. kestrel91316 Oct 2013 #14

Yet BMI doesn't distinguish fat from muscle BainsBane Oct 2013 #23

On the BMI she's still inside the "ideal" category. pnwmom Oct 2013 #27

huh. I don't know what the school was thinking then BainsBane Oct 2013 #30

I wonder if she is considered tall hfojvt Oct 2013 #16

I suggest you look at her picture. Not only is she NOT fat. she's slender cali Oct 2013 #19

And even if she were 5 foot 3 and 127, pnwmom Oct 2013 #22

Heck I'm 5'3" and weigh Aerows Oct 2013 #97

She isn't HockeyMom Oct 2013 #114

I had a friend in high school who was about your size pnwmom Oct 2013 #116

I looked at her picture, and she looked fine hfojvt Oct 2013 #61

I remember the boys like you. In 6th, I was 8 inches taller. pnwmom Oct 2013 #79

She is tall for an 11 year old girl. And could easily be half a foot taller pnwmom Oct 2013 #21

I think I'd let the parents thank the school for their misplaced concern and then just ignore it. HereSince1628 Oct 2013 #31

That's the best response yet. randome Oct 2013 #32

Why? The parents are doing other parents a favor by bringing this pnwmom Oct 2013 #36

There are some... redqueen Oct 2013 #43

It's discouraging. I really didn't expect it. n/t pnwmom Oct 2013 #45

First, it clearly was a mistake. Not a 'policy'. randome Oct 2013 #46

No, it wasn't a mistake that the letters were sent home with the kids. pnwmom Oct 2013 #48

No, the mistake was in classifying her as fat in the first place. randome Oct 2013 #49

Yes, it IS policy in Collier County HockeyMom Oct 2013 #56

It's policy to mis-identify someone as 'fat'? randome Oct 2013 #62

That's the policy I was talking about -- giving the letter to the kids. n/t pnwmom Oct 2013 #84

Collier County is looking for every way they can to identify HockeyMom Oct 2013 #105

That puts a different spin on things. randome Oct 2013 #125

The only "mistake" the school has acknowledged is putting her in as 2" shorter. jeff47 Oct 2013 #72

So the parents need to set them straight. randome Oct 2013 #96

The problem with your argument is there are situations beyond what you assume. jeff47 Oct 2013 #103

Apparently is IS too hard for some, which is why child obesity is a problem. randome Oct 2013 #124

Whoooosh jeff47 Oct 2013 #182

They've already come up with a better solution: measuring body fat, pnwmom Oct 2013 #185

Great post. This girl practices on two team sports 6 days a week. pnwmom Oct 2013 #183

They went to the school first and the school wouldn't change its practice. pnwmom Oct 2013 #139

You're right, there is something to be said for speaking one's mind. randome Oct 2013 #179

They're not trying to cash in. They're trying to prevent other girls from being hurt. pnwmom Oct 2013 #33

Whoever devised this program should be immediately terminated. Gravitycollapse Oct 2013 #52

And maybe the school administrators should be publicly weighed and measured. pnwmom Oct 2013 #67

The state needs to change and update the nurses' Ilsa Oct 2013 #65

That screening makes much more sense. n/t pnwmom Oct 2013 #70

I don't think kids younger than high school age should be fat shamed at all XemaSab Oct 2013 #68

You're right. Even pre-teens on the chubby side (which this girl isn't) pnwmom Oct 2013 #71

They shouldn't be fat-shamed, but they should Ilsa Oct 2013 #111

Collier County School District is corrupt HockeyMom Oct 2013 #78

Thanks for making the connection. I wasn't aware of a possible profit motive here. pnwmom Oct 2013 #86

In this country there is always a profit motive - ALWAYS TBF Oct 2013 #174

The hysterical handwringing over a "hurtful" letter is hilarious Azathoth Oct 2013 #85

She is actually in the "ideal" category on the height/weight charts pnwmom Oct 2013 #90

Actually, that's the wrong chart Azathoth Oct 2013 #99

At risk of what? Her BMI is in a normal range. LisaL Oct 2013 #164

lol, did you even follow the link? Azathoth Oct 2013 #166

I did follow the link. LisaL Oct 2013 #167

But apparently you didn't *read* the link Azathoth Oct 2013 #170

Oh great. LisaL Oct 2013 #173

Private doctors don't count HockeyMom Oct 2013 #109

Maybe I missed something Azathoth Oct 2013 #110

Why didn't they email or snail-mail the parents then? pnwmom Oct 2013 #119

There's no reason to keep it secret from her Azathoth Oct 2013 #129

Yes, there is. It should be up to the parents whether they distribute pnwmom Oct 2013 #136

So a statistic she can look up on the federal government's homepage is now double top secret? Azathoth Oct 2013 #143

Take a look at the child's photo. This child is not overweight. LisaL Oct 2013 #171

lol, you're not even aware what you're responding to. You're just spouting off. Azathoth Oct 2013 #176

It probably wouldn't have occurred to her to look for such a statistic pnwmom Oct 2013 #192

And probably old enough to have other meds and health education The Straight Story Oct 2013 #180

Girls don't need any further encouragement than they already get pnwmom Oct 2013 #193

You have NO idea what fat shaming in front of peers does to a preteen do you? laundry_queen Oct 2013 #205

The BMI is useless for such outliers RedCappedBandit Oct 2013 #237

We received an ad from JC Penney a few weeks ago. RC Oct 2013 #88

And most of those pictures have been photo-shopped. pnwmom Oct 2013 #92

None of them looked that bad. RC Oct 2013 #98

Even the ones with the missing limbs? pnwmom Oct 2013 #113

I was talking about a JC Penny ad. RC Oct 2013 #117

The Tinker-Toy model is exactly why the increase in breast augmentations. Gotta get fake fat. WinkyDink Oct 2013 #123

I kinda wondered about that. RC Oct 2013 #130

Right. The only natural way for most young women to have pnwmom Oct 2013 #137

Typical republican nanny state bs... ileus Oct 2013 #101

Naples, Florida, IS Teabagger, Rick Scott land HockeyMom Oct 2013 #108

They won't be happy until she's limp and anorexic, fashionably idle and unhealthy Warpy Oct 2013 #102

Medical Science cannot make skinny kids HockeyMom Oct 2013 #118

At this age laundry_queen Oct 2013 #206

We've get a huge problem with image vs substance Hydra Oct 2013 #107

I refused to be weighed, or measured, by the Collier County School District HockeyMom Oct 2013 #112

I hate judgmental assholes who think body size is equivalent to virtue. duffyduff Oct 2013 #115

Ugh, some really depressing responses in this thread. (nt) Posteritatis Oct 2013 #126

Schools need to butt out and stop testing kids for BMI alarimer Oct 2013 #131

+1000 HockeyMom Oct 2013 #135

dam i would have liked to have her on my soccer teams madrchsod Oct 2013 #134

One of the articles said she practices 6 days a week pnwmom Oct 2013 #138

she's overweight??????????????????????????????????????????????????????? dembotoz Oct 2013 #140

Right. That's the girl in the video. And she's not overweight at all, pnwmom Oct 2013 #142

One thing is clear. I'll bet the guys in her class are thinking "Wow..just Wow!" BlueJazz Oct 2013 #144

+1. nt pnwmom Oct 2013 #194

BMI is as worthless as John Boehner. Vashta Nerada Oct 2013 #147

A lot of insensitive asinine comments of this thread. My youngest was thick. seabeyond Oct 2013 #156

This is absolutely crazy. LisaL Oct 2013 #159

Much ado about nothing. Owl Oct 2013 #161

This has got to be the best one jmowreader Oct 2013 #168

Apparently a lot of responders to the OP didn't actually look at the gir's photo at the link. Hekate Oct 2013 #169

I saw it NoOneMan Oct 2013 #178

An exception? So she is the only child who participates in sports? LisaL Oct 2013 #186

She is 127 in 6th grade NoOneMan Oct 2013 #187

Not really. 127 pounds wouldn't make her fat even if she weren't an athlete. pnwmom Oct 2013 #189

Uh doh! NoOneMan Oct 2013 #197

LOTS of girls were bigger than you were. You might be big now, pnwmom Oct 2013 #196

No, not in 6th grade. That is very large for 6th grade NoOneMan Oct 2013 #198

Why is she supposed to be average? LisaL Oct 2013 #201

Who said she is supposed to be average? NoOneMan Oct 2013 #207

It isn't very large for a FEMALE 6th grader. pnwmom Oct 2013 #204

The chart I looked at was for girls NoOneMan Oct 2013 #208

The weight alone is MEANINGLESS. She's the height of many adult women, pnwmom Oct 2013 #211

There is nothing wrong with a girl of her height and weight pnwmom Oct 2013 #195

Who said there is anything wrong with that? NoOneMan Oct 2013 #199

You keep saying she's an outlier, but she isn't. pnwmom Oct 2013 #202

For the love of God, shes outside the middle of the bell curve for girls at that age NoOneMan Oct 2013 #209

Are you being obtuse on purpose? What possible good pnwmom Oct 2013 #210

Exactly. LisaL Oct 2013 #212

Her parents could toss it in the trash, explain why its not accurate, laugh a bit, reinforce her... NoOneMan Oct 2013 #215

They are teaching her a valuable lesson. When you encounter pnwmom Oct 2013 #217

Then again, they made a huge hub bub and could of transformed her to a laughing stock NoOneMan Oct 2013 #219

Did you watch her on the video? Going forward could not pnwmom Oct 2013 #221

"None of them should be getting these letters." NoOneMan Oct 2013 #213

NONE OF THEM should be handed these letters to take home. pnwmom Oct 2013 #214

Body fat testing is probably not feasible NoOneMan Oct 2013 #216

Of course it is. My son had body fat testing in a college PE class. n/t pnwmom Oct 2013 #218

With calipers? NoOneMan Oct 2013 #220

They used more than one method, but calipers would be the easiest pnwmom Oct 2013 #222

Its not precise at all NoOneMan Oct 2013 #223

BMI is BS! rdharma Oct 2013 #175

So what did the nutritionist on staff say? flvegan Oct 2013 #188

coach used to call us sissies, punks, maggots, fairies, all kinds of rotten names datasuspect Oct 2013 #224

The biggest defender of that letter here pnwmom Oct 2013 #226

Clearly coaches are all just evil people who give up all their free time to help young kids develop NoOneMan Oct 2013 #228

No, most of them aren't evil or ignorant or on power kicks. Just some. n/t pnwmom Oct 2013 #232

I worked in an libodem Oct 2013 #225

I bet there turns out to be a genetic risk factor as well, pnwmom Oct 2013 #227

Message auto-removed Name removed Oct 2013 #229

BMI is junk science greatlaurel Oct 2013 #230

Thanks for your thoughtful and informative post, greatlaurel, pnwmom Oct 2013 #231

Thank you for the welcome greatlaurel Oct 2013 #241

... and yet male-athletes in high school football are walking walls ... Myrina Oct 2013 #233

BMI is such nonsense RedCappedBandit Oct 2013 #235