Would you let your adult child or parents live with you?

[politicat]

70. No, though we would help financially.

My mother has severe seasonal affective disorder and Raynaud's syndrome. She cannot bear to live anywhere with fewer than 325 days of sun, or she gets really sketchy, and she's like a cat -- 90 F is sweater weather. Colorado has not quite enough sun and we get snow, which she hates, and it gets cold. I got the genetic cocktail -- I hate heat, I get a sunburn in strong moonlight, and I love cool to cold wet weather.

Mom's also a Merry Widow (now, after having grieved) and likes her gentlemen. I think she has iffy taste in men (who do treat her well and she seems to like sweet, big and not too bright). I tolerate her gents for her sake, but they're much easier to tolerate when we're in separate states.

She, on the other hand, hates my diet, my music, my books, and my wardrobe. She finds my politics incomprehensible, my academic interests baffling, and my means of accomplishing tasks Doin It Rong. If we were sharing space, we would drive each other bonkers.

I am more than happy to send her money; if she was local, I'd cheerfully help, but we are better for each other when we are not in close, daily proximity. We learned this between my 13th and 18th birthdays; confirmed it when I was in my twenties.

I don't have kids; if one of my nieces needed shelter, I would consider it, but on a peer to peer relationship. But I'd rather, if niece graduated with poor prospects, that she accepted our financial support and went Peace corps, Americorps, to MSF, or similar. That, more because the opportunity to do that sort of service comes only once, and I want them to take big bites out of life.