General Discussion

tavalon

(27,985 posts)

44. In a more perfect world, it would be wonderful if the couple who are faced with the choice,

Sat Nov 2, 2013, 09:56 PM

Nov 2013

choose together. But in the patriarchal world we actually live in, men should not have any right to have a say. But you knew that.

After many miscarriages, some desired losses, I made a pact with myself and I informed every partner I had from that point on. I decided that if I got pregnant by accident, I would not abort, nor would I take the tests that might show that I had a Down's kid. I always used protection and never had sex with anyone without having that conversation. The situation never came up, luckily, but I know I would have stuck to my choice. But that was my choice. I've also nursed many a woman through second trimester abortions when other nurses refused for "moral" reasons. I had no such issue. I'm completely pro choice, with others and myself.

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Question: Why Do MEN Have ANY Say In A WOMAN'S Right To Choose ??? [View all] WillyT Nov 2013 OP

It depends on who is buying. IF the woman is buying she can order anything she wants for dinner. Vincardog Nov 2013 #1

Ok... That Was Good... WillyT Nov 2013 #6

Even that is bullshit. Don't take someone out to eat if you are that cheap. we can do it Nov 2013 #8

So you are saying I should have no say in her dinner choice? Can I at least pick the restaurant? Vincardog Nov 2013 #10

NO. WTF. Make sure to pick somewhere cheap with skanky dancers, too. She'll love that. we can do it Nov 2013 #12

The OP posed the Q: Does a man have ANY say? I say maybe and you call me cheap. Judge much? Vincardog Nov 2013 #15

NO. NONE NOT EVER. You deserve to eat alone and pick the damn place, too. we can do it Nov 2013 #26

Tough crowd... delete_bush Nov 2013 #28

I was thinking the same thing. nt Xipe Totec Nov 2013 #167

Or a whiny, smart-assed, snide one Isoldeblue Nov 2013 #66

Thank you. we can do it Nov 2013 #73

You Can Pick The Restaurant... You Can Pick Your Nose... WillyT Nov 2013 #14

What pregnancy? Vincardog Nov 2013 #16

The pregnancy that resulted from conception at the restaurant. Sheesh. nt polly7 Nov 2013 #23

:evilgrin: WillyT Nov 2013 #24

Restaraunt conceptions are the funnest... awoke_in_2003 Nov 2013 #60

There is a lot of seed to be had for those who do Five Guys for lunch. Gore1FL Nov 2013 #83

After a very disturbing and disappointing day on DU, I do love you. Squinch Nov 2013 #84

Really? Shut the hell up? Decaffeinated Nov 2013 #162

Yeah... And Depending On The Health Of That Relationship... WillyT Nov 2013 #171

The whole point of this thread demwing Nov 2013 #176

that is if she can make up her mind Niceguy1 Nov 2013 #203

A trap? Like: "Does this make my ass look fat?" or "If I died which of my girlfriends would you Vincardog Nov 2013 #204

exactly lol Niceguy1 Nov 2013 #208

they shouldn't unless inited by the woman to have input gopiscrap Nov 2013 #2

Why does anyone have a say in a woman's right to choose? leftstreet Nov 2013 #3

Exactly! etherealtruth Nov 2013 #48

Did you point out to right field... awoke_in_2003 Nov 2013 #61

MIKE DROP elehhhhna Nov 2013 #154

They shouldn't. They do because they have been the priests, the lawmakers, and the minions PDJane Nov 2013 #4

Uh, because they think they're entitled to run everything? Warpy Nov 2013 #5

I think you know my answer. (nt) Control-Z Nov 2013 #7

Because a man got her pregnant. RC Nov 2013 #9

True... But When Was The Last Time A MAN Brought A Pregnancy To Term ??? WillyT Nov 2013 #11

The man contributed to the pregnancy. That gives him a say. RC Nov 2013 #115

But a man doesn't necessarily HAVE to get a woman pregnant... CTyankee Nov 2013 #149

Regardless, the man had a part in the pregnancy. RC Nov 2013 #152

Women die in childbirth. Its her life that's at stake whether to abort or deliver riderinthestorm Nov 2013 #170

That is what I have been saying all along! RC Nov 2013 #172

I don't deny a man's input. But he does NOT have the "same rights" over this decision riderinthestorm Nov 2013 #173

I never said he did. RC Nov 2013 #174

Yes. Sadly, abortion discussions here are dogmatic. closeupready Nov 2013 #190

Yeah, I'm starting to learn that too. RC Nov 2013 #192

Since I don't know what you mean about "if he does not have any say in the matter..." I can't CTyankee Nov 2013 #189

Try reading the rest of the sentence. RC Nov 2013 #191

whoa, go back to what I said about a man having choices e.g. a condom, a vasectomy CTyankee Nov 2013 #196

The OP title question is:Question: Why Do MEN Have ANY Say In A WOMAN'S Right To Choose ??? RC Nov 2013 #197

Again: when do men have a say? If they think ahead and decide they don't want to be a parent, they CTyankee Nov 2013 #198

I don't think that's necessarily true. Blue_In_AK Nov 2013 #186

I keep saying this, but keep being told this anyway! RC Nov 2013 #187

so maybe she doesn't tell anyone and just had the abortion? CTyankee Nov 2013 #199

Well, at minimum because women need men to help elect legislators HereSince1628 Nov 2013 #13

LOL !!! - Personally... I Don't Think Women Need Men At All These Days... WillyT Nov 2013 #18

Well, so far, you ARE still entitled to dream large. HereSince1628 Nov 2013 #21

Women are only 51% of the population. Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #67

And we'd welcome you. ancianita Nov 2013 #131

You've already got me. Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #143

Wouldn't that be having some say clffrdjk Nov 2013 #175

the ONLY male who is in any position to even voice an opinion MIGHT be the one who had CONSENSUAL niyad Nov 2013 #17

Yup ^^^^^^^^^^^^ n/t MANative Nov 2013 #29

I agree. RiffRandell Nov 2013 #47

No. As long as it's her body, frogmarch Nov 2013 #19

Because rich, white men control the institutions of hegemonic culture. Deep13 Nov 2013 #20

I was going to point out the same thing. tecelote Nov 2013 #35

No chance, Ohio votes earlier in the day than NM. Deep13 Nov 2013 #134

That simple malaise Nov 2013 #144

Because as long as people don't know the difference between a clump of cells BrotherIvan Nov 2013 #22

If the couple is happily married and need to think of this option AAO Nov 2013 #25

The "Tie - Breaker"... In This Instance... ALWAYS Goes To The Woman... WillyT Nov 2013 #37

As it should be - WillyT! AAO Nov 2013 #159

Because some people like having power over others mythology Nov 2013 #27

I dunno,...because they're armed? Spitfire of ATJ Nov 2013 #30

Because as long as this debate goes on, the 1% uses it to divide us LittleBlue Nov 2013 #31

You're mostly correct, with one exception: AverageJoe90 Nov 2013 #69

if the best way for a man and woman to raise a child is Triloon Nov 2013 #32

"dispose of one" ? Isoldeblue Nov 2013 #86

There's no other explanation than that the men who Aldo Leopold Nov 2013 #33

�. handmade34 Nov 2013 #34

Your bias is showing seattle15 Nov 2013 #102

I think my answer is MyNameGoesHere Nov 2013 #36

I would say that in any given conception, there is only one man that has a right to an opinion, Thor_MN Nov 2013 #38

Cause they write the laws? Egnever Nov 2013 #39

So... Why Do Said Women... Continue To Have Sex With Men ??? WillyT Nov 2013 #40

what Said women? Egnever Nov 2013 #41

Because they have the power. efhmc Nov 2013 #42

one person one vote arely staircase Nov 2013 #43

In a more perfect world, it would be wonderful if the couple who are faced with the choice, tavalon Nov 2013 #44

Presumptions of privilege and power, with the threat of violence or relentless, competitive pursuit ancianita Nov 2013 #45

Only if their partners want to share the decision with them... polichick Nov 2013 #46

well Chaco Dundee Nov 2013 #49

They don't. Dash87 Nov 2013 #50

Anybody!?!? speak... the question is asked!! amerciti001 Nov 2013 #51

This message was self-deleted by its author Cronus Protagonist Nov 2013 #52

Yeah, and your penises are not weapons. If you use them as such, all of humanity should disarm you. ancianita Nov 2013 #58

This message was self-deleted by its author Cronus Protagonist Nov 2013 #59

Women get to decide, and men can be ever at the ready. That's just as much in humanity's interest. ancianita Nov 2013 #62

2nd Amendment. Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #71

The US has signed onto the Geneva Convention of rape as a crime. ancianita Nov 2013 #74

So guns don't kill people Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #78

First disarm the criminal...a fair process, such that it can't be used against women again. Police ancianita Nov 2013 #85

Bonus question: Initech Nov 2013 #53

Uhh TimeToGo Nov 2013 #80

Agreed - they shouldn't... elzenmahn Nov 2013 #54

If the Man says "It's her right to choose" , he's OK by me. BlueJazz Nov 2013 #55

If his group decides otherwise, he's pretty powerless against them. And women know the group does. ancianita Nov 2013 #68

I understand. I've fought that ridiculous crap for years. I might put my old signature line back up. BlueJazz Nov 2013 #113

Interesting line! Glad you took it down, though, because it would open a whole can of whoop talk. ancianita Nov 2013 #118

ultimately we shouldn't fascisthunter Nov 2013 #56

. blkmusclmachine Nov 2013 #57

I don't. AtheistCrusader Nov 2013 #63

When a law is written Heather MC Nov 2013 #64

Husbands have a right to decide if they are going to be a daddy. nt rrneck Nov 2013 #65

Exactly what does this mean. Does it mean they have a right to give birth, MichiganVote Nov 2013 #70

It means rrneck Nov 2013 #82

Even if the wife says no? So then, they can rape their wives all they want? ancianita Nov 2013 #72

No. rrneck Nov 2013 #81

Subject only to his wife's agreement. His rights, or "say" don't give him any right to coercion. So ancianita Nov 2013 #89

The OP question was... rrneck Nov 2013 #92

Collective male class dominance. Ever see the unity among black and white men when women's "issues" ancianita Nov 2013 #97

The men that actually own the bulk of the country don't care. rrneck Nov 2013 #103

I'm aware of that possibility, but laws re-enforcing men's whims and desires prove otherwise. ancianita Nov 2013 #106

What reality is that? rrneck Nov 2013 #108

Impossibilities, you say. Why are 'we' having this conversation, you ask. Is that your closer? ancianita Nov 2013 #116

I think any fair reading of this sub thread will reveal the source of the peevishness. rrneck Nov 2013 #121

I think any fair reading would show that you made a declaration you didn't want to have to explain. ancianita Nov 2013 #122

Interesting. rrneck Nov 2013 #124

Oh, right back to Chaucer's Wife of Bath issue: what do women want?! Spare me. ancianita Nov 2013 #130

I didn't ask rrneck Nov 2013 #133

The line of questioning is the same. My feelings aren't your concern. Imagine what you like. ancianita Nov 2013 #135

Well, y'know... rrneck Nov 2013 #136

Ah, so that's what you imagine. ancianita Nov 2013 #137

Well, maybe I missed it. rrneck Nov 2013 #157

A 'right' or a 'say'? LanternWaste Nov 2013 #194

One's not much good without the other. rrneck Nov 2013 #200

Thorny issue. Pab Sungenis Nov 2013 #77

One would assume that the man would rrneck Nov 2013 #79

Heh heh. THAT textbook 'institutional' assumption and a bus token will get a woman across town. ancianita Nov 2013 #95

Then reform the law. nt rrneck Nov 2013 #98

Easy peasy. ancianita Nov 2013 #123

No. It isn't easy. rrneck Nov 2013 #125

You proposed it. I was being sarcastic. Until women constitute 51% of both houses, I won't even ancianita Nov 2013 #126

You're good at sarcastic but you're short on substance. rrneck Nov 2013 #128

Really. There's little substance on your end when I'm the only one so far to provide any link. ancianita Nov 2013 #129

Okay, here's a link.. rrneck Nov 2013 #132

Exactly! SoapBox Nov 2013 #75

husbands have a right to decide if they are going to be a daddy passiveporcupine Nov 2013 #76

Just wanted to add passiveporcupine Nov 2013 #91

Yes, of course the man has a choice...to have sex with the woman or not HangOnKids Nov 2013 #93

Actually passiveporcupine Nov 2013 #101

He choses to be responsible when he has sex HangOnKids Nov 2013 #105

They both have responsibility in having a child passiveporcupine Nov 2013 #107

I Am Not Determining Fault I Am Speaking About Responsibility HangOnKids Nov 2013 #110

the only one here who does not have a choice is the child. liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #111

I agree passiveporcupine Nov 2013 #112

It would be pretty hard to trap a man who uses his own condoms and puts them on himself. liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #117

If a woman says she is on the pill and cannot get pregnant passiveporcupine Nov 2013 #119

If a man does not want to have a child he should use a condom. If a woman does not want to liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #120

I wish life were that simple passiveporcupine Nov 2013 #127

It's not a matter of trust. It's a matter of taking care of oneself. liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #138

I agree passiveporcupine Nov 2013 #141

It doesn't happen often at all and if a man doesn't want to be trapped all he has to do is wear a liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #142

I'm sorry passiveporcupine Nov 2013 #163

Child Support Is Determined By Income Ratio HangOnKids Nov 2013 #146

I'm not concerned with the trapping meme. passiveporcupine Nov 2013 #164

To be certain he doesn't unintentionally father a child he doesn't want. MadrasT Nov 2013 #155

Yes passiveporcupine Nov 2013 #160

Child support is for the child, it's not a prize awarded to non-custodial parents. LeftyMom Nov 2013 #140

That's not how it works gollygee Nov 2013 #165

It is entirely her own decision. SchmerzImArsch Nov 2013 #87

welcome to DU gopiscrap Nov 2013 #94

Thank you SchmerzImArsch Nov 2013 #188

Men often point to biology to justify their advantageous place in society. randome Nov 2013 #88

they shouldn't have any right. no man DesertFlower Nov 2013 #90

This message was self-deleted by its author cheapdate Nov 2013 #96

I think it's simply because enough of them claim an interest in fetuses. cheapdate Nov 2013 #99

Why does anybody have any say in anyone else's choice??? The Straight Story Nov 2013 #100

They should not. Kath1 Nov 2013 #104

As we can see from some replies on the thread, because of a delusion of "fairness" Scootaloo Nov 2013 #109

Do you really, REALLY want someone (who is pro choice) to try to answer that question... Silent3 Nov 2013 #114

For two reasons. ZombieHorde Nov 2013 #139

Message auto-removed Name removed Nov 2013 #145

It's not okay when anti-choice women try to control other women, either. Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #147

Only when it's their kid can they have CFLDem Nov 2013 #148

In a word. 99Forever Nov 2013 #150

I can't think of any valid reason why they should have any say. MineralMan Nov 2013 #151

Answer: They don't, but patriarchy means they get a say regardless. nt redqueen Nov 2013 #153

Exactly. (no text) Quantess Nov 2013 #161

I can see the issue when it's their child. moriah Nov 2013 #156

It's only their child after the woman has given birth. redqueen Nov 2013 #169

You can't have it both ways. moriah Nov 2013 #179

That's not having it both ways. That's one way - her choice. redqueen Nov 2013 #180

Saying it's "not his kid" until it's born is suggesting men don't have the right to grieve.... moriah Nov 2013 #181

Sorry, I was objecting to the language. Calling a fetus a "child" is incorrect. redqueen Nov 2013 #182

Eh, I'll say something that's far from PC here. moriah Nov 2013 #183

"It's all life" is nonsense. It's meaningless jargon which serves the religious right. redqueen Nov 2013 #184

I find it silly to argue with them about the point. moriah Nov 2013 #185

Much as the yolk in a chicken egg is called a chick if it's to hatch in the future? LanternWaste Nov 2013 #205

Fortunately most eggs sold in supermarkets are sterile. ;) moriah Nov 2013 #207

This thread has to be some sort of social experiment right? IronLionZion Nov 2013 #158

Yes they most certainly do. Puglover Nov 2013 #166

They don't ismnotwasm Nov 2013 #168

In a healthy marriage Turbineguy Nov 2013 #177

That has been my stand liberal N proud Nov 2013 #178

I think they have a say...if a pregnancy is involved..but NOT KoKo Nov 2013 #193

I have zero rights and zero say in any fully valid medical procedures anyone has (other than me). LanternWaste Nov 2013 #195

Religion God Jesus Morality dchill Nov 2013 #201

Technically it is based on the right to privacy. However, to me it is more about a women and her lostincalifornia Nov 2013 #202

Because men run the show. Avalux Nov 2013 #206