Are Heartless People Simply Born That Way?

[CoffeeCat]

6. I was raised by a Republican psychopath...

...and I know my experience is anecdotal, but I believe that many of our societal ills can be traced back to ho we treat children.

One in four girls is sexually abused before the age of 18; one in seven boys is sexually abused before the age of 18. Most people think that it is ok to hit children. Many children, who aren't sexually abused are neglected or emotionally abused, and statistics on this kind of abuse isn't documented because the numbers are so difficult to assess.

I think our society treats children like chattel. And it happens at all socioeconomic levels. I live in the suburbs, and there are lots of nice families, but there is also a great deal of dysfunction, alcoholism, parents who are unfit.

I was abused as a child and I can't tell you how many times I've shared my story--only to have the other person share their story right back. These are people with great jobs, living in the suburbs, with everything looking pretty on the outside.

My own experience with my psychopathic Republican father obviously colors my world view. We looked like the perfect family. We were ordered to be the perfect family. Inside, it was a house of horrors. But the lawn was manicured and we were all dressed in designer clothes and in the pews on Sunday, so according to my father, all was right with the world. He would make fun of the homeless, joke around and say, "Hey do you want to take a drive in my Porsche and laugh at how the other 90 percent lives?" He called people who weren't rich "down and outers". He once yelled at our state senator for forcing him to comply with the Americans With Disabilities Act, which cost him extra money. Never mind that he was a millionaire. Never mind that his wife was disabled. We were at an engagement party, and my father said, "Hey, I think I hear a homeless person scratching at the window. Why don't you go throw out a plate of food!" Oh the laughs that got from him! He knew I was sympathetic to the homeless and other causes, and he took plenty of opportunities to dig in the knife.

If anyone thinks this is rare, I'm sorry to tell you that it is not. All of his friends were like this. They all listened to Rush. They hated weakness and people who were poor--were dirtbags to them. They are also racist as hell. My father would become nervous around non-white people. In his 30 years with his business he hired one African American girl but told me that she didn't work out because "Well, you know why it didn't work out." They're also sexist and mysogynistic. Women and children are their property--objects to be controlled. Oh yeah, my father was also a pedophile.

And things are only getting worse. People are more pathological than they've ever been. As the previous posters noted, we glorify sociopathic and psychopathic behavior. These types of people, including my father and his friends, are all very successful, influential people. Their children are all horrendously messed up. I'm the only one in my family who got therapy. My siblings, who are in denial--live lives with eating disorders, alcoholism, suicide attempts, marrying violent abusers, etc. But my siblings all had kids...and the cycle continues. One dysfunctional parent can create dozens of hurting people. I think this is what has happened.

We glorify pathology, bullying and dysfunctional adult behavior today. Our politicians and most CEOs are corrupt. And they have power. This is a dog whistle to other abusers out there--that your warped mindset is ok. In fact, it's encouraged. We are a sick society. I've lived a tiny slice of it. I've been in the support groups for families like this. The damage is stunning. Children of attorneys, pastors, dentists, insurance salesmen, coaches...you name it. They were forced to remain silent and endure hell, but everything on the outside appeared just peachy. But, like me, they were too broken to play the game anymore. They end up being the family scapegoats because they just couldn't toe the line anymore.

Scapegoats are the most honest children in the family. While everyone else is pretending that all is well--they are the ones "acting out" or doing drugs/alcohol to numb the pain that no one else will even acknowledge. The family points the finger at them. The abusers happily blame them, in order to keep their secrets safe. So, people like us end up in support groups, rehab or therapy. And we find other scapegoats like ourselves and we learn that we aren't crazy or bad. We're sensitive, smart and strong for escaping the crazy world of abusive psychopaths.

I talk about this because I think more people need to talk about this. Because this is what is happening in our country. It's not rare. My exact situation may not be common, but abusive household led by these sick Republicans who believe that the poor are punchlines and that women are chattel--are not uncommon. It's epidemic. And people listening to Beck, Hannity and Limbaugh reinforce this pathology. Every day. They're bullies. They're mean. They disparage women. They support Republicans policies that punish the poor, the non-wealthy and the working poor.

Talk radio, in my opinion, has led to greater mental illness because it placates these psychopaths into thinking that their abuse and their cruelty is acceptable, even noble.

Please know that if you endured family members like this--you are not alone. Please also know that talk radio and political corruption and cruel political policies are NOT harmless. They hurt the victims of those policies, but they also create a general downward pressure on morality and our basic sense of decency.