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brer cat

(27,597 posts)

10. This post is both courageous

Wed Nov 6, 2013, 09:19 AM

Nov 2013

and exceptional. Your points are well made, and we need to hear them. Your last paragraph about the inclusiveness of MaleSurvivor is a message DU needs to take to heart. We should be a place where all survivors can live and grow, where none hear that is their fault or that they are less worthy of our support.

Thank you for bringing this forward, Recursion.

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I hate to do this thread, but it seems to be time again: I'm a male survivor of abuse [View all] Recursion Nov 2013 OP

Great post... trumad Nov 2013 #1

a member of my family is one. he is the best boy ever but hooked up with a roguevalley Nov 2013 #95

Thank you for this post! thucythucy Nov 2013 #2

Thank you Thucy! Recursion Nov 2013 #4

You're very welcome! thucythucy Nov 2013 #7

Here's the disparity Recursion Nov 2013 #9

There is one poster who is so angry with me boston bean Nov 2013 #13

I'm so sorry, boston bean Recursion Nov 2013 #16

Thanks, recursion. boston bean Nov 2013 #20

Oh, one of those? Recursion Nov 2013 #43

"A beat-down"? lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #59

... Whisp Nov 2013 #77

Sigh indeed... nt thucythucy Nov 2013 #15

I stress, "even on DU" Recursion Nov 2013 #18

+1 LiberalLoner Nov 2013 #60

I don't feel safe here either. pitbullgirl1965 Nov 2013 #71

if i could do so, I'd recomend your post as well as the op's post. n/t deafskeptic Nov 2013 #51

+a jillion n/t BlancheSplanchnik Nov 2013 #79

No words. IdaBriggs Nov 2013 #3

Thank you, Ida Recursion Nov 2013 #5

Then have another - and a kick because this is an AWESOME post. IdaBriggs Nov 2013 #6

Acknowledging and working to minimize violence against women boston bean Nov 2013 #8

Isn't it fucked up? Recursion Nov 2013 #14

It's just the strangest, backwards thing.... boston bean Nov 2013 #21

It doesn't, it didn't... whttevrr Nov 2013 #49

It's weird, no? Recursion Nov 2013 #57

Very weird... whttevrr Nov 2013 #61

This post is both courageous brer cat Nov 2013 #10

You are absolutely right. It isn't a contest. HappyMe Nov 2013 #11

Be well Recursion (((hug))). Big K& R nt riderinthestorm Nov 2013 #12

Thank you riderinthestorm! Recursion Nov 2013 #23

and you show us ALL, recursion, it can be done. both genders, abuse, huge issue and should be seabeyond Nov 2013 #17

Thank you so much seabeyond Recursion Nov 2013 #19

Thanks for the piece of insight. Festivito Nov 2013 #22

You stated that so simply, so eloquently. sheshe2 Nov 2013 #24

Thank you, sheshe2 Recursion Nov 2013 #26

Thank you for your post. cate94 Nov 2013 #25

Thank you for breaking the silence. moriah Nov 2013 #27

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Huge K&R and.... OneGrassRoot Nov 2013 #28

Thank you! Recursion Nov 2013 #30

As a fellow survivor, thank you. WCLinolVir Nov 2013 #29

k&r Starry Messenger Nov 2013 #31

my first experience with male abuse and the hypocrisy was my brother. decades ago. seabeyond Nov 2013 #32

Thank you Recursion Nov 2013 #33

All abuse is horrifying. All victims are just that - victims. MineralMan Nov 2013 #34

Thank you, Recursion..You make excellent points. n/t whathehell Nov 2013 #35

My heart goes to all abuse victims. JNelson6563 Nov 2013 #36

my mother was a severe BPD. BlancheSplanchnik Nov 2013 #82

Oh my dear! JNelson6563 Nov 2013 #108

thank you Julie. :) BlancheSplanchnik Nov 2013 #124

You have my support PasadenaTrudy Nov 2013 #37

It's none of my business, but was your abuser male or female? librechik Nov 2013 #38

My abuser was in a position of authority, and was evil. Recursion Nov 2013 #40

And that's all that matters, isn't it? n/t moriah Nov 2013 #46

Amen (nt) Recursion Nov 2013 #47

Of course, and as a fellow victim, I sympathize. librechik Nov 2013 #50

I am a cis-male Recursion Nov 2013 #52

I can assure you that there are psychopathic women, Ghost Dog Nov 2013 #112

I spoke to that.n/t librechik Nov 2013 #123

In both my personal and professional life, I've had a lot to do with survivors--and perpetrators-- Jackpine Radical Nov 2013 #39

Thank you Recursion Dorian Gray Nov 2013 #41

Good post! Marrah_G Nov 2013 #42

Thank you for the brave and important post. We good men and women SO need one another. nolabear Nov 2013 #44

Thank you nolabear Recursion Nov 2013 #45

I saw those threads... whttevrr Nov 2013 #48

I am so sorry you experienced abuse Grateful for Hope Nov 2013 #53

Very few abuse shelters for men. Pointing this out isn't delegitimizing women's abuse. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #54

I'm with you brother. MindPilot Nov 2013 #55

Brother, you're not remotely alone Recursion Nov 2013 #56

Thank you for this brave thread. I was an Army officer who was raped by a fellow LiberalLoner Nov 2013 #62

So sorry for my dismissive "never the officers" language Recursion Nov 2013 #64

It's okay. No offense taken. :) LiberalLoner Nov 2013 #66

Don't go... whttevrr Nov 2013 #67

don't leave DU, LiberalLoner Skittles Nov 2013 #88

As another male survivor I stand with you on what you say Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #58

What else can I say, but hedgehog Nov 2013 #63

Fair points, and much appreciated. ancianita Nov 2013 #65

Seems to me a beating is a beating. Regardless of the gender of the victim. calimary Nov 2013 #68

Unfortunately, gay men are still under a lot of pressure to deny abuse-- eridani Nov 2013 #103

i could so see that though i had not thuoght of that. thanks for the insight. makes sense. nt seabeyond Nov 2013 #104

Standing with you, Recursion! Scruffy Rumbler Nov 2013 #69

I am sorry Recursion. I wish I had something better to say. nt msanthrope Nov 2013 #70

I also. riqster Nov 2013 #72

Three male survivors have opened up to me Warpy Nov 2013 #73

K&R valerief Nov 2013 #74

K&R me b zola Nov 2013 #75

Knowing the True Meaning of Pain 4Q2u2 Nov 2013 #76

Wonderful and Eloquent post! Thank you Recursion BlancheSplanchnik Nov 2013 #78

Thanks for this. Chiquitita Nov 2013 #80

K&R LadyHawkAZ Nov 2013 #81

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. raging moderate Nov 2013 #83

Another one here wysi Nov 2013 #84

This message was self-deleted by its author polly7 Nov 2013 #85

Recursion... Hekate Nov 2013 #86

I have been floored by the number of men I've known that have acknowledged being molested Number23 Nov 2013 #87

Well said - thank you for speaking for me jimlup Nov 2013 #89

I'm so glad you posted this. NYC_SKP Nov 2013 #90

"I don't bring this up much, because it's none of your fucking business." Android3.14 Nov 2013 #91

Post removed Post removed Nov 2013 #92

Post removed Post removed Nov 2013 #97

kinder? what, 186 rec in a heartfelt OP. and you say what in response? kinder. uh hu seabeyond Nov 2013 #99

A rare enlightening thread Nine Nov 2013 #93

I'm very sorry that that happened to you. Thank you for witnessing for truth. yardwork Nov 2013 #94

You absolutely are my ally BainsBane Nov 2013 #96

I too am a male surviver BillyRibs Nov 2013 #98

Every time I think our species has regressed with regards to chervilant Nov 2013 #100

Not a surviver of sexual abuse but chknltl Nov 2013 #101

Maybe DU could benefit from a PTSD forum Ghost Dog Nov 2013 #113

For the sake of the stupid people, MichiganVote Nov 2013 #102

I agree, excellent post! Rosa Luxemburg Nov 2013 #106

Yeah Prophet 451 Nov 2013 #105

been there done that. ... 8 track mind Nov 2013 #107

Thank you ismnotwasm Nov 2013 #109

beautiful post. glad i did not miss this. La Lioness Priyanka Nov 2013 #110

Me too, but I'm not joining an on-line support group. Deep13 Nov 2013 #111

I was raped. So was my mother and one brother. Behind the Aegis Nov 2013 #114

I'm sorry that happened to you BainsBane Nov 2013 #115

I don't believe survivors are enemies either. Behind the Aegis Nov 2013 #117

Not to me BainsBane Nov 2013 #120

There are a few demographics where assumptions are made ismnotwasm Nov 2013 #116

You made me cry. Behind the Aegis Nov 2013 #118

.. ismnotwasm Nov 2013 #122

My father was abused by his spouse...to death. Bonobo Nov 2013 #119

Much support to you, brother steve2470 Nov 2013 #121

You're an awesome man. cherokeeprogressive Nov 2013 #125

on a related note, we men who have had mental health issues are in the same boat steve2470 Nov 2013 #126