She eats. I’m her mother. I let my daughter eat. Last night she was hungry and we had some peppers.

[Tree-Hugger]

11. This is close to my life

I've definitely gone most of the day without eating so my kids get more. When I shop, I try to buy more for them than for me. So far today, I had a little pita and hummus as well as a small M&M bag that I stole from my daughter's Halloween candy stash. I make sure my kids get three meals plus snacks and do my best to make them feel like they don't have to worry about going without food. My son is 7 years old and he has become well aware that we are poor, which I really hate. He has a lot of anxiety issues and OCD (which is fed by anxiety) and I hate to think our situation contributes to that.

We actually utilized the local food pantry for the first time a little over a week ago because our SNAP benefits were running very thin before their scheduled roll over. At this place, you can come twice a month. I'm not sure of the alloted amount. My husband came out with two large grocery bags, plus one small one. We got apples, celery, peppers, canned veggies, soups, sausages, hot dogs, bacon, cereal, and so on. They also gave a little bag of leftover Halloween candy as a treat and they allow one dessert item if available (oh no! Poor people eating dessert! Crucify them! Crucify them!). In addition to the food pantry, they run a daily soup kitchen - breakfast and lunch/dinner. I saw that portion of the building and it was filled with regular folks from my community - people you'd pass on the street and not notice they are poor (because we're supposed to wear some sort of identifying arm band or something, according to RW asswads). They also have a bread shelf and anyone can come in on a daily basis and take two bread items. This can be loaves of sandwich bread, bags full of rolls, pita type breads, baguettes, bagels. In addition to the bread shelf, they have baskets full of bottled water that anyone can take. Sometimes, the bread shelf has extra produce items such as apples. It's usually the day old bread from grocery stores and places like Panera. I also observed people coming in to get a bathroom key - I assume it's utilized by the homeless folk our area loves to deny exist.

It can be super embarrassing. This food pantry is on the main street of town, right in the center of action. People line up outside on the front sidewalk and are very visible as they wait for the pantry and soup kitchen to open. I totally admit to feeling that sense of embarrassment...thinking, "I hope no one sees me." My car is ultra identifiable thanks to it's uncommon color and my obnoxious bumper stickers and I wondered if anyone I knew would pass by and wonder if I was there to help or be helped.

Don't mind me - I'm rambling.