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Are_grits_groceries

(17,139 posts) Fri Mar 9, 2012, 01:54 PM Mar 2012

My opinion about Romney learning to be a Southerner. [View all]

You CANNOT learn to like grits.

Is he taking lessons from Paula Deen?
You either like them or you don't. What a Moran!

Other tests he has to pass:
1- Eating boiled peanuts sitting on the edge of a soft drink crate. Then he has to stay on that crate and talk with the men sitting there. The over/under is one minute before he falls on his ass.

2- He has to chew tobacco or dip snuff. I know that using tobacco is against his religion, but he better make an exception.

3- He has to go catfish noodling. Ex:

You don't wear shoes or a wet suit. I have seen this activity portrayed as a dangerous adventure by the media and only for men. Meh!

4- He has to know if grits are groceries.

5- He has to go fishing wih a cane pole and catch a decent size fish.

6- He has to stay on a porch in the late afternoon while rocking or swinging. In addition, he has to drink a shitload of sweet, iced tea AND tell stories. Any true Southerner can tell tales of all kinds. Romney has no idea how to tell a story from what I've seen.

This would just begin to qualify him as a Southerner. Newborn babies in the South can say y'all and eat grits. That isn't a challenge.

As far as I'm concerned, he still hasn't proven he is a human.

40 replies

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Highlight:

My opinion about Romney learning to be a Southerner. [View all] Are_grits_groceries Mar 2012 OP

Thanks for the laugh livetohike Mar 2012 #1

7- Undying love for the Confederacy. onehandle Mar 2012 #2

He has to know who they are. Are_grits_groceries Mar 2012 #3

When is somebody going to finish that? snooper2 Mar 2012 #4

Don't know. Are_grits_groceries Mar 2012 #5

im fixin to get ready SwampG8r Mar 2012 #40

One small quibble sharp_stick Mar 2012 #6

No problem. Are_grits_groceries Mar 2012 #7

First ten years of my life I had grits every morning tularetom Mar 2012 #8

Doesn't he also have to like moon pies and big red? Taverner Mar 2012 #9

Heh, any "real" southerner knows HillWilliam Mar 2012 #17

Ha! Those questions are just the pre-test. Are_grits_groceries Mar 2012 #31

When Romney said he "learned" to like Grits Jamaal510 Mar 2012 #10

Sugar in grits? Aerows Mar 2012 #15

I came from upstate SC, and brown sugar on grits was pretty common in the area Tom Ripley Mar 2012 #18

Well, at least you draw a line :D Aerows Mar 2012 #20

'step away from the spoon' HEH! Are_grits_groceries Mar 2012 #33

BROWN sugar maybe HillWilliam Mar 2012 #25

Roight! HillWilliam Mar 2012 #22

Or putting sugar in the cornbread. nolabear Mar 2012 #38

If he passes your test and qualifies as a Southerner gratuitous Mar 2012 #11

Not in this lifetime! nt Are_grits_groceries Mar 2012 #12

Oh no Aerows Mar 2012 #14

Clarification Aerows Mar 2012 #13

Hey could swig enough swaytay to refloat the Titanic HillWilliam Mar 2012 #23

LOL Aerows Mar 2012 #35

Thanks for the PSA! Are_grits_groceries Mar 2012 #34

Hell, he'll never be a Southerner. Major Hogwash Mar 2012 #16

He has to eat some kind of animal that you can't get at the regular grocery store XemaSab Mar 2012 #19

Yep! You earned that honor the hard way! Are_grits_groceries Mar 2012 #32

Grits and butter for breakfast is something I'd have to choke down... WorseBeforeBetter Mar 2012 #21

Shrimp and grits are good, honest Low Country food HillWilliam Mar 2012 #24

Raleigh, but close enough. Howdee! (n/t) WorseBeforeBetter Mar 2012 #26

I'm just northwest HillWilliam Mar 2012 #27

I had a day trip to that area a while back... WorseBeforeBetter Mar 2012 #28

You know, every time I come back to <insert southern state name here>; pokerfan Mar 2012 #29

We sure do know how to grow Are_grits_groceries Mar 2012 #30

LOL! My B-I-L tells a story about a cab driver in Atlanta who kept a women going about those trees. nolabear Mar 2012 #39

I smuggled grits from Oakland to SF in the 90's. mulsh Mar 2012 #36

I've lived various places.......... Amaril Mar 2012 #37