The true test for his ass would be to give him 4 ounces of cool spring water in a peanut butter jar, and 4 ounces of moonshine in another peanut butter jar.
Jam or jelly jars will do in a pinch.
Tell him to drink the first one, and then the 2nd one, in one big swaller, just gulp it down, no sipping, and then tell everyone else what he thinks the difference between the water and the moonshine tastes like.
After he drinks the first one, he might look okay, but he won't be able to talk after he drinks the 2nd one.
Because there was no cool spring water in either jar!!
That's what they done to me, and I couldn't even talk after that 2nd glass.
Hell, I couldn't even stay conscious!!
I put the glass down, bugged my eyes out a little, and then waltzed over to the sofa about 8 feet away doing the worst John Wayne imitation you ever saw of the way he walked in all of those cowboy movies, and then plopped down, face first, because I knew when the top of my head felt like it had turned to ice, I was in trouble, and I figured whatever it was, whether it was straight up turpentine or plain ol' moonshine that I had drunk, I was probably going to pass out.
Her grandpa laughed his ass off when that happened, and he told my wife that I was a-okay with him.
I had passed the test.
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