General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: What sexual acts do you consider to be violent? [View all]daybranch
(1,309 posts)about human behavior. The articel being discussed was supposedly about violent sex acts and the attempted linkage between violent porn and rape. Yet the tactics discussed for the most part would not constitute rape for the most part in the minds of most people. arguing or pressuring someone into sex while not unselfish dors not rise to the level of rape or even sexual violence. When you pressure someone into doing something that other party being pressured is not forced but rather makes a trade off between outcomes and chooses to go along. Yes they may not have wanted to make a choice but the victim makes a choice. I am not saying that females should feel pressured into sex but to believe they are the same as rape victims is reaching pretty much too far. Guilting victims into sex is also allowing them to see their options and letting them evaluate their own motives or how others may see them. Again this is not rape under the law. Giving females alcohol is often statutory rape but if females are aware of the debilitating possible effects of alcohol on their willpower and desire those consequences which in some cases they may, it is again hard to call it rape in a courtroom. Neither pressuring, nor guilting, nor causing a female to be inebriated constitutes violent sex and certainly not rape. As far as threatening force or actually using that force you are obviously committing rape and should be punished accordingly whether violence occurs during the rape or not.
It is obvious that we men and women need to tell our sons loudly these behaviors are shameful and to remind our daughters that they must stand up for themselves and make their own decisions and avoid peer pressure or guilting. These conversations must be clear and specific. We must be very, very direct. It is our children and they must understand from these discussions how much they are loved by their parents.