General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: What sexual acts do you consider to be violent? [View all]KitSileya
(4,035 posts)Very many of them don't see guilting someone into sex, or verbal coercion, as a sexual violence. Nor did many see unwanted kissing or touching (breasts etc) as sexual violence.
It boggles my mind. I'm pretty sure most people in long-term relationships, where one partner nags and nags about sex until the other partner gives in experienced a huge hit in the trust levels in that relationship - at least on one side. They may not call what happened to them rape, but it was sex without freely given consent, and especially if coupled with other abusive or semi-abusive behaviors, is definitely sexual violence. Violence doesn't have to include physical pain.
You may have rape numbers going down, but I am pretty sure coercive "sex" have risen - too many teenagers now think that if you date someone, you're supposed to have sex, whether you want to or not. You're shamed if you have sex, or if you don't have sex (except boys, who mostly are shamed if they don't have sex, and lauded when they do have sex, even if it is rape - 11-year olds who are raped by their teacher or friend's mum are lauded even here on DU.) As a result, a lot of teenagers don't even register what is done to them as sexual violence, they just think that there's something wrong with them for not wanting to do what they're supposed to want.
On the whole, even tho' society claims to have become more "sex positive," I don't think things have changed that much. A lot of "stranger" rapes have turned into "date" rapes - jumping someone from behind a bush is out, and getting people drunk, or guilting them, and having sex with them has become more acceptable.