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FirstLight

(15,771 posts)

281. thanks for saying that...but my story will not matter to those die hard "statistics" people

Wed Nov 27, 2013, 12:02 AM

Nov 2013

I have had plenty of people here at DU jump on me for posting experience and even citing research, but because I get emotional or may have some figures wrong they attack and say that everything I meant was invalid.Regardless of the naysayers-
I *still* believe strongly that porn is hurtful to the psyche in MANY cases, even if they don't end up as extreme as mine. It's a dangerous area of the psyche that it triggers and it *does* have the ability to take hold and feed upon itself.

What really sucks is that I went thru the day thinking I wasn't affected by posting this.... and then fell apart at my doctors appointment and bawled about nothing and had a really shitty afternoon/evening... funny how traumas like that can sit so deep in your cells that even if you can't put your finger on it, you get triggered...

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This message was self-deleted by its author [View all] Arcanetrance Nov 2013 OP

Oh, what woman doesn't get excited about being called a cum loving whore? renie408 Nov 2013 #1

Because those who are civl libertarians see the bigger picture Major Nikon Nov 2013 #33

Yeah...we are going to agree to disagree on this one. renie408 Nov 2013 #38

We stand up for Walmart workers who "consent" to crappy jobs, crappy wages and KittyWampus Nov 2013 #94

Ok. renie408 Nov 2013 #101

Do you shop there? renie408 Nov 2013 #110

Why only the women? jeff47 Nov 2013 #148

Why does no one ever respond to this question? Kurska Nov 2013 #303

Sure you can, and you should Major Nikon Nov 2013 #191

"regardless" is hypothetical BainsBane Nov 2013 #208

Gonna call bullshit Major Nikon Nov 2013 #211

My point is that your concern should not stop at the picket line BainsBane Nov 2013 #219

It does and is no different than any other worker, but nice try Major Nikon Nov 2013 #230

They why do you continue to evoke choice? BainsBane Nov 2013 #240

Tap...Tap....Tap....Is this thing on? Major Nikon Nov 2013 #247

It is increasingly clear that the new definition of straw BainsBane Nov 2013 #245

... Major Nikon Nov 2013 #248

An opinion supported by the evidence in this subthread BainsBane Nov 2013 #255

OK, so it's true Major Nikon Nov 2013 #260

I did not say that BainsBane Nov 2013 #262

And I agreed. nt xulamaude Nov 2013 #252

How many hours (approximately) have you spent on a picket line xulamaude Nov 2013 #223

Welcome to DU Major Nikon Nov 2013 #231

Okay and thanks for the welcome xulamaude Nov 2013 #239

Post removed Post removed Nov 2013 #249

Did he? It must have been after a bunch of snark so I tuned it out BainsBane Nov 2013 #257

Additionally, the same choice exercised by free-wage porn laborers BainsBane Nov 2013 #210

+1 nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #222

That's a really good point! JustAnotherGen Nov 2013 #227

Exactly BainsBane Nov 2013 #205

One might see the bigger issue being women, human beings, world wide seabeyond Nov 2013 #108

Oh quit with your trying to take away a woman's right to make bad decisions. renie408 Nov 2013 #116

ya. no, wouldnt happen. nt seabeyond Nov 2013 #125

What makes you think feminists who make the exact same arguments aren't? Major Nikon Nov 2013 #140

How does civil libertarianism negate the rights of others to say they find BainsBane Nov 2013 #147

The answer is the same for anyone who finds homosexuality disturbing Major Nikon Nov 2013 #189

Arcanetrance isn't talking about suppression BainsBane Nov 2013 #195

I didn't reply to that poster Major Nikon Nov 2013 #202

Consider another side of that "bigger picture", and ask yourself how you'd feel about material whathehell Nov 2013 #162

Well done, that's easily the most specious argument of this entire debate LittleBlue Nov 2013 #168

No, dear, I just confused my amendments for a moment..I meant the Fourteenth. whathehell Nov 2013 #291

I'm not going to get into red herring arguments Major Nikon Nov 2013 #184

No, a "red herring" would only exist if the situations were non analogous.. whathehell Nov 2013 #287

Stand your ground�by definition is free�.something. Tikki Nov 2013 #212

The man in the wilderness Major Nikon Nov 2013 #213

Stand Your ground� Tikki Nov 2013 #216

Which is simply more of the same Major Nikon Nov 2013 #233

It's a human rights issue, not a phony baloney "civil liberties" issue. duffyduff Nov 2013 #263

I've consumed porn for years, and have never, not once, come upon so called rape or violent porn. Democracyinkind Nov 2013 #2

So if you find it hard to believe obviously it must not be than is that what your saying Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #5

What I'm saying is, it can't be that prevalent if it never crossed my eyes. Democracyinkind Nov 2013 #10

I suppose if you're careful and/or selective enough you might avoid the worst material. nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #224

Then google it gollygee Nov 2013 #6

I truly do not believe you. Right now you can go to any popular site... Gravitycollapse Nov 2013 #13

Maybe you missed the part where I said that commercial porn doesn't excite me. Democracyinkind Nov 2013 #20

if all involved are consenting adults BuddhaGirl Nov 2013 #3

what if the women are consenting hfojvt Nov 2013 #85

Probably both consent & exploitation, and not a crime. Eleanors38 Nov 2013 #92

All low-paying and/or unpleasant jobs are exploitative in some sense. I have no problem saying that. nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #226

I disagree with you. Sex and violence are not equivalent. closeupready Nov 2013 #4

Sex and violence shouldn't go together Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #9

Sorry, I don't see it. Women like sex, too. closeupready Nov 2013 #17

Because they've completely removed the human being Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #25

I don't see the violence in that, however. closeupready Nov 2013 #30

For you. and that's great. Blue_Adept Nov 2013 #145

I had a partner Niceguy1 Nov 2013 #196

Exactly. Blue_Adept Nov 2013 #229

kind of like Niceguy1 Nov 2013 #246

I've been staying out of this too, but all these posts made me think ... Vox Moi Nov 2013 #7

Are people finding those movies sexually gratifying? gollygee Nov 2013 #8

War is not for sexual gratification but it is entertainment. Vox Moi Nov 2013 #22

Do you realize that perpetuating the myth that rape is about sex is dangerous and wrong? Major Nikon Nov 2013 #241

And then there was this movie ... dawg Nov 2013 #16

One of the best put downs I've ever seen! Vox Moi Nov 2013 #27

I love that clip. dawg Nov 2013 #35

Post this as an OP and see what happens. thucythucy Nov 2013 #97

I'm middle aged get the red out Nov 2013 #11

You are confused about what consent is LittleBlue Nov 2013 #12

So do you think its outside the realm of possibility to have gotten consent through coercion Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #15

On the popular tube sites? no LittleBlue Nov 2013 #23

Those who condone these depictions conveniently leave out a few facts. NYC_SKP Nov 2013 #26

"It's not even about consent" Union Scribe Nov 2013 #53

"...acts that seem to be depicted in those videos strike me as rape." NYC_SKP Nov 2013 #88

+1 nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #237

this is what worries me about porn MissMillie Nov 2013 #31

I understand your concern but rrneck Nov 2013 #103

Or just sheer desperation. renie408 Nov 2013 #32

Yes sheer desperation as well Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #37

So we should make them more desperate? jeff47 Nov 2013 #40

Never said that... renie408 Nov 2013 #49

An experience does not have to be uplifting in order to consent to it. jeff47 Nov 2013 #62

No renie408 Nov 2013 #81

So women need to be protected from bad decisions? jeff47 Nov 2013 #89

The quote you high-lighted is probably the reason for this post. Eleanors38 Nov 2013 #99

No renie408 Nov 2013 #104

Because that's the route everyone else takes when posting "porn is bad" jeff47 Nov 2013 #129

Well, why didn't you tell me.you wanted to handle both sides of the discussion? renie408 Nov 2013 #206

Where did the OP explicitly advocate banning *anything*? nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #242

I'm assuming then you would oppose thucythucy Nov 2013 #105

Bingo renie408 Nov 2013 #113

A boycott and a legal ban are different things. jeff47 Nov 2013 #124

well, what I see feminists here doing is consciousness raising. CTyankee Nov 2013 #181

Because only women act in porn, right? jeff47 Nov 2013 #185

oh, dear, missing the point again...I try so hard... CTyankee Nov 2013 #187

+1. The logic in the OP's arguments here is lacking in my opinion. closeupready Nov 2013 #19

Liberals generally understand that sometimes "consent" can be manufactured and coerced. KittyWampus Nov 2013 #96

Liberals have brains LittleBlue Nov 2013 #100

And such "coercion" must be proven in a court of law. Eleanors38 Nov 2013 #107

You don't have to prove something in a court of law to decide on it (or against it) for yourself. nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #244

Good. I hope others make the distinction between... Eleanors38 Nov 2013 #296

yup personal choice is what it should come down to, you dont want to be callwd names during sex loli phabay Nov 2013 #298

The titles and the way they refer to women in the titles of porn videos has always bothered me. Ian David Nov 2013 #14

those words are self descriptors, you see them in the chatrooms every day. loli phabay Nov 2013 #299

If it was done between consenting adults, who fricken cares? Vashta Nerada Nov 2013 #18

What's the name of this popular site? For research purposes only. Capt. Obvious Nov 2013 #21

From a man's perspective - that's always been a Turn Off FreakinDJ Nov 2013 #24

Not to mention all the oral sex videos. No woman would ever willingly give oral sex. penultimate Nov 2013 #28

I find it weird how you conflate oral sex with the kind of sex... Gravitycollapse Nov 2013 #36

Because some people find oral sex gross and would never do it penultimate Nov 2013 #51

I would generally tend to agree, except what we're talking about is more "rough" than "sex" nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #268

Oh! I thought you were referencing the other way around. Wel-l-l now... Eleanors38 Nov 2013 #119

The voice of reason TroglodyteScholar Nov 2013 #166

Consenting adults get to do things we don't like. jeff47 Nov 2013 #29

Serious question: how do you equate "cum loving whore" to "violence"? Nye Bevan Nov 2013 #34

Actually selling sexual service has proven to be very violent to the women doing so Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #39

Switching up the discussion, what do you want to do about rape porn? LittleBlue Nov 2013 #42

What these folks seem to want is an official Government Porn Inspector who views it all, Nye Bevan Nov 2013 #46

What I want is for liberal men thucythucy Nov 2013 #91

Porn Tsar! nt Bonobo Nov 2013 #234

Calling a woman a whore is very clearly psychic violence. Gravitycollapse Nov 2013 #44

Well yes, the term can be an insult. But it can also be a job description. Nye Bevan Nov 2013 #45

Maybe you should educate yourself on the history of the word. Gravitycollapse Nov 2013 #74

I'll ask you the same question that I asked the OP LittleBlue Nov 2013 #56

Perhaps force them to replace the word "whore" with "call girl"? Nye Bevan Nov 2013 #64

Haha, indeed LittleBlue Nov 2013 #67

Ask politely and for political reasons that people do not use the word xulamaude Nov 2013 #152

Umm... Agschmid Nov 2013 #154

I want people to stop consuming it. Gravitycollapse Nov 2013 #72

You want people to voluntarily stop watching porn? LittleBlue Nov 2013 #79

No, I want people to stop consuming violent, misogynist porn. Gravitycollapse Nov 2013 #111

+1 nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #270

I want unicorns and rainbows. Comrade Grumpy Nov 2013 #102

Are you finished? It's time for a grown up discussion. Gravitycollapse Nov 2013 #114

The lay person? Agschmid Nov 2013 #159

Someone who isn't blatantly aware of the violence and misogyny inherent in most porn. Gravitycollapse Nov 2013 #217

I think most are aware... Agschmid Nov 2013 #218

I don't know. What part of gay pornography are you talking about? Gravitycollapse Nov 2013 #221

I guess I am curious to know... Agschmid Nov 2013 #225

Yes, it absolutely can. Although, despite myself watching a good amount of gay porn... Gravitycollapse Nov 2013 #235

I think your projecting way to much FreakinDJ Nov 2013 #266

Most likely, yes. But you never know. nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #271

It's not going to happen. Agschmid Nov 2013 #158

Maybe simply get people to think more carefully about the media they consume? nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #269

Try whispering that in somebody's ear. PassingFair Nov 2013 #87

I really don't mind saying I think porn should be illegal. NCTraveler Nov 2013 #41

Yes, that's worked so well for prostitution jeff47 Nov 2013 #70

100% solutions rarely exist in the real world. NCTraveler Nov 2013 #76

I'm not arguing we should keep those laws. jeff47 Nov 2013 #86

I do not believe hard crack should be legal. NCTraveler Nov 2013 #109

That line of scum exists because it's illegal. jeff47 Nov 2013 #122

This is not even close to correct. NCTraveler Nov 2013 #128

Well, look at prohibition. jeff47 Nov 2013 #132

But I love Gorn Glassunion Nov 2013 #43

I have tried to ignore these threads too.. FirstLight Nov 2013 #47

Wow I'm really sorry those things happened to you it must have taken alot of strength to share that Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #58

Thank you for telling it like it really is xulamaude Nov 2013 #59

thanks FirstLight Nov 2013 #65

You are so tremendously brave. I hope you have found peace riderinthestorm Nov 2013 #66

well FirstLight Nov 2013 #80

If it was science, then it would be provable. jeff47 Nov 2013 #83

Considering that rape and incest are so under reported thucythucy Nov 2013 #121

Because under-reported would not be unique to Utah. jeff47 Nov 2013 #134

I don't think under reporting is an evenly thucythucy Nov 2013 #150

That's why I picked another socially conservative state as an example. jeff47 Nov 2013 #151

The plural of anecdote is not data, true. But that doesn't mean anecdotes are invalid or useless. nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #276

thanks for saying that...but my story will not matter to those die hard "statistics" people FirstLight Nov 2013 #281

It's important that people tell their stories though. No matter how "extreme" their case. nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #288

Your story is how we get those statistics jeff47 Nov 2013 #297

Thank you for this post. thucythucy Nov 2013 #90

Thanks for posting this. dawg Nov 2013 #95

Thank you for posting that and I'm glad you and your daughter got out azurnoir Nov 2013 #120

Gut renching and horrifying. Thank you so much for sharing this Number23 Nov 2013 #137

Porn is like alcohol, most handle it fine, some it causes major issues. n-t Logical Nov 2013 #201

Thank you for the courageous post. n/t Tuesday Afternoon Nov 2013 #293

I agree that porn is tasteless and that our repressive culture has made large Egalitarian Thug Nov 2013 #48

I'm curious why you thought all the "anal" sex shown Schema Thing Nov 2013 #50

Surely nobody would do *that* willingly. Nye Bevan Nov 2013 #52

you've got to be kidding. eggplant Nov 2013 #130

I suggest you read the joy of Gay sex. William769 Nov 2013 #198

The anal sex itself isn't what got to me it was the "gaping" and insertion of objects both anally Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #54

I know gay men who are into that. ForgoTheConsequence Nov 2013 #57

Whatever man if that's what you've taken away from this Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #61

A perfect illustration of the slippery slope. Nye Bevan Nov 2013 #63

Question anywhere in my post did I say anything about wanting a ban or advocating for a ban Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #68

That's just the impression I got from your post. But I apologize if I misunderstood. Nye Bevan Nov 2013 #69

I don't want to ban what two adults do in the comfort of their own home Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #73

I keep seeing this sentiment LadyHawkAZ Nov 2013 #123

People have been doing that for thousands of years. At least. eggplant Nov 2013 #157

There are lots of people out there who enjoy that Marrah_G Nov 2013 #165

Didn't you hear? Sodomy is unnatural and against God. ForgoTheConsequence Nov 2013 #55

Message auto-removed Name removed Nov 2013 #194

Agree: Whats wrong with anal? Jesus Malverde Nov 2013 #75

This type of porn disgusts me but I strongly support its legality. last1standing Nov 2013 #60

I think, for starters, it should be subject to the same criticism thucythucy Nov 2013 #84

Most of the posts attacking porn seem to be calling for a legal ban jeff47 Nov 2013 #117

none of the posts attack porn has been about banning. regardless how the discussion is continually seabeyond Nov 2013 #135

There's a certain amount of reading into the posts jeff47 Nov 2013 #139

"certain amount of reading into the posts" NO. just NO. nt seabeyond Nov 2013 #142

People are rarely explicit in what they want on message boards. jeff47 Nov 2013 #146

Not really Jeff. I tend to ask. I do not like ASSuming cause I do not like being wrong. seabeyond Nov 2013 #264

Some people posting here and elsewhere thucythucy Nov 2013 #138

It's both. jeff47 Nov 2013 #144

Can't I condemn the terms but still defend them as free speech? last1standing Nov 2013 #133

Careful, or someone will come along and say you're anti-sex. historylovr Nov 2013 #71

The most popular porn video site on the web is XHamster Xithras Nov 2013 #77

Well I went to xvideos the second video on the first row is entitle Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #78

Indeed. That was one of the two I cited. Xithras Nov 2013 #82

I suppose to a certain extent, you'll always find what you're looking for. nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #277

I just went to that site and polly7 Nov 2013 #127

Anyone else here remember The Hite Report? closeupready Nov 2013 #93

Just what we need around here lillypaddle Nov 2013 #98

Yeah, when we could all be talking about Zimmy some more! Eleanors38 Nov 2013 #131

Whatever, people are into weird stuff and you can't do anything about it really quinnox Nov 2013 #106

not only female-hating but viciously racist, anti-semitic language too zazen Nov 2013 #112

Very true on the racist aspects I've never heard of holocaust porn that sounds disgusting on another Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #115

Fine, so don't watch it. eggplant Nov 2013 #169

Do you think the dehumanization of anyone male or female is an okay thing Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #172

Wow. eggplant Nov 2013 #176

I'm done man I'm done if you're willing to tell me that pornography depicting racist intent is okay Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #178

There is a ton of non-porn that depicts racist intent. eggplant Nov 2013 #182

But there is porn degrading women because of their race and that is quite relevant and wrong Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #186

Um, no. eggplant Nov 2013 #192

No, it shouldn't be banned LittleBlue Nov 2013 #238

It's not authoritarian to draw a line racist dehumanization Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #243

If you are talking about preventing people from crossing that line... Major Nikon Nov 2013 #254

Oh, good grief.... Hissyspit Nov 2013 #118

Thank you for your puritanism. eggplant Nov 2013 #126

Any puritanism in me is completely self imagined on your part Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #136

As someone who has been in the computer industry for the past 35 years... eggplant Nov 2013 #155

And that really is the sad truth of it xulamaude Nov 2013 #171

And kittens! Don't forget the kittens! eggplant Nov 2013 #175

Astounding indeed and I make good use of it myself xulamaude Nov 2013 #179

The kittens thank you! eggplant Nov 2013 #188

There are plenty of videos where men get called those names, and things inserted into their butts mwrguy Nov 2013 #141

And I think it's just as dehumanizing to call men those names Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #160

Some people like that sort of treatment and seek it out mwrguy Nov 2013 #197

There's a 'categories' button at the top. AtheistCrusader Nov 2013 #143

You found very mild representations of what we've been talking about BainsBane Nov 2013 #149

I wish there were an easy way to report what clearly looks criminal zazen Nov 2013 #153

Very little of it is illegal BainsBane Nov 2013 #161

Modern porn requires proof of age of the actors. eggplant Nov 2013 #164

Contact the FBI LadyHawkAZ Nov 2013 #180

thx--the condescension of other posters aside, I recognize pubescent breasts, zazen Nov 2013 #265

You're quite welcome. LadyHawkAZ Nov 2013 #267

I can't stomach it the descriptions of it or any of it I get physically ill Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #163

And yet you are staying and continuing to argue. eggplant Nov 2013 #170

If you think you'll go to every one of my posts and harass me into submission you're in for a Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #174

Post removed Post removed Nov 2013 #177

geez...Stay classy, eggplant... CTyankee Nov 2013 #183

I was just making a point. eggplant Nov 2013 #190

Remember when Lenny Bruce was arrested for obscenity because of his vocabulary? Cuccinelli lostincalifornia Nov 2013 #200

I think that 5-1 jury was telling you something, buddy... CTyankee Nov 2013 #236

I prefer consenting cartoon characters anyway: kentauros Nov 2013 #156

Foglio for the win! Blue_Adept Nov 2013 #167

He never stopped producing great stuff :) kentauros Nov 2013 #173

Girl Genius is great mwrguy Nov 2013 #199

Thanks! kentauros Nov 2013 #203

Ack! Wrong place! kentauros Nov 2013 #214

I still remember his Dragon Magazine work Blue_Adept Nov 2013 #228

Staying out of porn threads, but appears not porn sites. Curious, where do you find that a porn lostincalifornia Nov 2013 #193

You are totally wrong though Paolo123 Nov 2013 #204

The casual evidence to support the OP's claim is dubious Major Nikon Nov 2013 #207

violent crime has declined in the industrialized West due to demographic factors BainsBane Nov 2013 #220

nope Paolo123 Nov 2013 #250

RAINN disagrees Major Nikon Nov 2013 #251

stickily MRA LIES!!!! lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #259

I think porn can be done in a way that's not misogynistic, but most of it is not. alarimer Nov 2013 #209

And then there are the consenting Gingerbread Men: kentauros Nov 2013 #215

I have no doubt the proliferation of easily accessible porn has harmed ecstatic Nov 2013 #232

Offense to women Rosa Luxemburg Nov 2013 #253

You look at wierd porn. TransitJohn Nov 2013 #256

Yes that must be it of course how could I have been so dumb Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #258

fiction is bad because it reminds you of something real? aikoaiko Nov 2013 #261

Maybe more that the line between fiction and reality here is blurry enough to concern people? nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #278

In the eye of the beholder. 99Forever Nov 2013 #272

You seem to think I have delicate sensibilities Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #273

"The Supreme Court says there are exceptions." See, I agree with you completely, otherwise. nomorenomore08 Nov 2013 #279

True that's not what I wanted to put forward Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #282

You're citing Fat Tony and the Supremes? 99Forever Nov 2013 #295

"the supreme court says there are exceptions to this idea." and they said this kind of porn ain't it Kurska Nov 2013 #304

My daughter is taking a psychology/sex class. She has a female classmate that is into fisting. liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #274

How is pointing out the violent trend in mainstream pornography putting myself in anyones bedroom Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #275

"None of you can sit here with a straight face and tell me those are terms of endearment" Prophet 451 Nov 2013 #280

I'm not trying to push for a ban my point was against those that say there are no violent tendencies Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #283

Stop playing semantic games Prophet 451 Nov 2013 #284

Well stated. And yeah.. they're always careful to avoid the word "ban", but.. opiate69 Nov 2013 #285

Ok read what you want I really don't give a damn you'r playing a fucking game it's called ignorance Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #286

Would you like me to quote your words? Prophet 451 Nov 2013 #289

Do me a favor and don't call me sweetie that's the first thing Arcanetrance Nov 2013 #292

OK, "sweetie" was patronising Prophet 451 Nov 2013 #294

Good post. I don't know why people try to tell others they can't do something because they liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #290

If you must know Kurska Nov 2013 #300

This is just straight trolling now Capt. Obvious Nov 2013 #301

Seriously, I'd never imply criticism on one our most beloved DU group Kurska Nov 2013 #302