General Discussion

hfojvt

(37,573 posts)

106. "they do so ... in half the states"

Sun Dec 1, 2013, 12:43 PM

Dec 2013

Well, they are ALLOWED to do so in half the states. How many actually do is another question. Even if there are no legal barriers to marrying, there is the practical social barrier of two sets of parents and three sets of grandparents perhaps saying "OH HELL NO" and of friends, siblings, co-workers, teachers, pastors, etc. perhaps asking "are you out of your frigging mind?"

My family history records a story of a young woman who wanted to marry and older man who was deaf. Like a twenty year age difference. The Justice of the Peace refused to do it, according to a newspaper article. But they did marry anyway.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

131 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

how distant must a cousin be before one can date them [View all] arely staircase Nov 2013 OP

Three feet. RagAss Nov 2013 #1

Depends on the state. Some say first cousin marriages are okay, others Cleita Nov 2013 #4

forgetb what I legal arely staircase Nov 2013 #12

For myself, I'd say no closer than third cousins. Cleita Nov 2013 #20

you are assuming this is about me and not the arely staircase Nov 2013 #21

Whoever, including the friend. n/t Cleita Nov 2013 #22

ok. they are third cousins and though their families aren't real close arely staircase Nov 2013 #24

Are the great grand parents alive? Cleita Nov 2013 #55

parties involved are middle age arely staircase Nov 2013 #59

No, that's what happens with kids with cou-- NuclearDem Nov 2013 #9

I see what you did there. arcane1 Nov 2013 #11

... LadyHawkAZ Nov 2013 #23

Are you bragging? baldguy Nov 2013 #30

only that I am kin to the both of them nt arely staircase Nov 2013 #35

This'll end well. NuclearDem Nov 2013 #2

Depends tiredtoo Nov 2013 #3

About 30 miles, because more would make dating inconvenient and costly because of gas prices. nt tblue37 Nov 2013 #5

at least third for the sake of the kids! madrchsod Nov 2013 #6

Go ask a teabagger... I think they would CAG Nov 2013 #7

Two counties over. (n/t) Iggo Nov 2013 #8

lol nt arely staircase Nov 2013 #10

Why do you ask? countryjake Nov 2013 #13

intelectual curriosity arely staircase Nov 2013 #16

There is no "knowledge" to be gained here jberryhill Nov 2013 #25

well indeed arely staircase Nov 2013 #26

Alas, I married a woman unrelated to me jberryhill Nov 2013 #36

Big thanskgiving gossip subject among the broader "staircase" clan nt arely staircase Nov 2013 #38

Meh jberryhill Nov 2013 #48

Yes there is. At some distance, the chance of offspring Hosnon Dec 2013 #100

Coupla things.... jberryhill Dec 2013 #112

Well then, for your edification... countryjake Nov 2013 #40

trust me arely staircase Nov 2013 #49

It must have been an interesting Thanksgiving. rug Nov 2013 #14

lol nt arely staircase Nov 2013 #17

I mean, I don't like arguing with relatives at Thanksgiving NuclearDem Nov 2013 #19

yeah at some point keeping peace in the family hits the point of diminishing returns nt arely staircase Nov 2013 #27

If you have to ask if they're too close they are too close. n/t leeroysphitz Nov 2013 #15

Second cousin IMO Freddie Nov 2013 #18

Cousin marriages have often happened IphengeniaBlumgarten Nov 2013 #47

Yeah, used to be more common laundry_queen Dec 2013 #124

Planning on going to a family reunion looking for women? Vashta Nerada Nov 2013 #28

lol nt arely staircase Nov 2013 #29

Not sure. CorrectOfCenter Nov 2013 #31

that is actually the case in question arely staircase Nov 2013 #32

I'd need a picture of your third cousin first jberryhill Nov 2013 #57

If you have to ask the question then you are TOO damn close! TheDebbieDee Nov 2013 #33

First cousins are OK in some parts of the country Warpy Nov 2013 #34

my personal opinion just based on ick factor arely staircase Nov 2013 #37

Clearly, it's a fine thing to do then! Because it kept everyone from discussing MH1 Dec 2013 #119

Siblings are okay in other parts Kaleva Nov 2013 #46

Depends on the context... yawnmaster Nov 2013 #39

Depends on her age FarCenter Nov 2013 #41

Here's definitive advice struggle4progress Nov 2013 #42

After watching that I feel like I need therapy davidpdx Dec 2013 #86

Imagine if they decided to get married, and their last names were Duran.... MADem Nov 2013 #43

lol Renew Deal Nov 2013 #44

in which case Duran Duran should play the reception for tips. nt arely staircase Nov 2013 #50

Now that, as the kids would say, would be EPIC! nt MADem Nov 2013 #63

Third cousins? Jenoch Nov 2013 #45

sorry about the stalinist unpleasantness (no snark) arely staircase Nov 2013 #52

Would you tell us which part of the U.S. it is that your family resides? Jenoch Nov 2013 #54

East Texas nt arely staircase Nov 2013 #58

Six blocks minimum agent46 Nov 2013 #51

Ask Eleanor and Franklin... llmart Nov 2013 #53

Second cousins, right? arely staircase Nov 2013 #56

Eleanor and Frankin were 5th cousins once removed. dflprincess Nov 2013 #71

but started with rhe same surname arely staircase Nov 2013 #80

You can marry first cousins in these states Blanket Statements Nov 2013 #60

wow arely staircase Nov 2013 #62

I think it comes down to preference Blanket Statements Nov 2013 #65

I think in the case of firsts the birth defect problem is there nt arely staircase Nov 2013 #67

I didn't know first cousins could marry in Florida. RebelOne Dec 2013 #130

Depends on what state you are in liberal N proud Nov 2013 #61

If they're a cousin, it's icky. nt geek tragedy Nov 2013 #64

No one else's business. nt Demo_Chris Nov 2013 #66

It's all relative. LumosMaxima Nov 2013 #68

Neanderthals are close enough... hunter Nov 2013 #69

I read an essay in anthropology that suggested that most marriages in human history LeftyMom Nov 2013 #70

As an anthropologist, I doubt that. Coyotl Nov 2013 #74

To my great surprise I found the article. God bless the internets. LeftyMom Nov 2013 #76

I just sent off my mouth swabs arely staircase Nov 2013 #79

If you're Jerry Lee Lewis BlueToTheBone Nov 2013 #72

That effectvely ended his career Zambero Dec 2013 #110

It depends on the state Blue_In_AK Nov 2013 #73

It's ok if you don't hear banjo music. nt bluestate10 Nov 2013 #75

haha! hopemountain Nov 2013 #78

how distant? MFM008 Nov 2013 #77

third cousins nothing removed arely staircase Nov 2013 #81

'Date?' Anytime. elleng Nov 2013 #82

Marriage between first cousins was not uncommon in pre-Victorian times Retrograde Nov 2013 #83

Depends ... dawg Dec 2013 #84

Third cousins likely share something like 3% of their DNA. Thirties Child Dec 2013 #85

I don't know for sure davidpdx Dec 2013 #87

Second cousins are probably as close as you need to be if you're procreating. LuvNewcastle Dec 2013 #88

I could date one of your cousins dipsydoodle Dec 2013 #89

Third cousin, I think, hardly counts. nt raccoon Dec 2013 #90

I believe the answer is first legally, and second relatively safely, but don't quote me on that. Donald Ian Rankin Dec 2013 #91

Thomas Jefferson's wife was his 3rd cousin KentuckyWoman Dec 2013 #92

I don't even know if I have any third cousins. MineralMan Dec 2013 #93

Yes, the risk of birth defects is only slightly elevated as I understand it. LisaL Dec 2013 #94

Well, I really advise some sort of genetic counseling for all couples. MineralMan Dec 2013 #97

interesting list hfojvt Dec 2013 #99

As a matter of practical information, I do not know of a single MineralMan Dec 2013 #101

"they do so ... in half the states" hfojvt Dec 2013 #106

I have no information on how many first cousin marriages MineralMan Dec 2013 #109

Old school was 7 degrees of separation. JNelson6563 Dec 2013 #95

And that is why Kevin Bacon is doomed to remain single cthulu2016 Dec 2013 #116

lol Touche'! JNelson6563 Dec 2013 #122

There is no reason to date any relative BainsBane Dec 2013 #96

and all people in the world are related hfojvt Dec 2013 #98

That's my favorite statement of the internet so far today. Iggo Dec 2013 #125

Unless you have had your geneology done, you could marry a distant cousin and never even know DebJ Dec 2013 #102

I think she meant in a more closer sense... Like, if you share more than five family members on penultimate Dec 2013 #104

My wife is a distant double cousin to President Obama. trackfan Dec 2013 #126

I think you're right, but it really should be a personal choice if all parties are adults. penultimate Dec 2013 #103

Every society has cultural taboos against insest BainsBane Dec 2013 #105

But if we get rid of the risk by ensuring they don't procreate penultimate Dec 2013 #108

How do you ensure they don't procreate? LisaL Dec 2013 #113

Well it wouldn't be forced, as they'd do it on their own accord so they can get married legally penultimate Dec 2013 #114

Should that be done just to cousins or to everyone that carry some mutation? LisaL Dec 2013 #117

That's a good point. penultimate Dec 2013 #120

But then also preservation of property treestar Dec 2013 #118

Old tradition says 2nd cousin. jwirr Dec 2013 #107

Cousin Couples Forum MineralMan Dec 2013 #111

In a lot of states you can still marry a first cousin treestar Dec 2013 #115

Second cousins are fine in all 50 states, I believe. MineralMan Dec 2013 #127

I feel that if your talking about the icky factor RGinNJ Dec 2013 #121

Ask "The Killer" Jerry Lee Lewis he married his 13 year old cousin at 22 then doc03 Dec 2013 #123

How many people here know their third cousins? muriel_volestrangler Dec 2013 #128

I don't know any of mine. I assume I have some, but MineralMan Dec 2013 #129

First was good enough for Darwin Rochester Dec 2013 #131