General Discussion

Sienna86

(2,153 posts)

4. My advice

Mon Dec 2, 2013, 08:36 AM

Dec 2013

After seeing middle aged women being left by a husband having a midlife crisis or finding a younger girlfriend, I would recommend the following to a young woman. If you and your spouse decide it would be best for you to forego employment or work from home at a lower salary when you have children, I would get a post-nuptial agreement that sets out what happens down the road if the marriage doesn't last. I've seen far too many women give up their jobs, with mutual agreement from a spouse, and then find themselves in a divorce, with no viable job skills, and a judge providing two years of maintenance for them to get back on their feet.

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Married Ladies: Don't Quit Your Day Job -- Ever [View all] mfcorey1 Dec 2013 OP

sorry, I think this is huge cartload of crap. cali Dec 2013 #1

Even though some women will never let this happen, some will. I think the mfcorey1 Dec 2013 #2

I was about to say that until ... LisaLynne Dec 2013 #3

Nope, unfortunately some of us were dumb enough to do this - TBF Dec 2013 #6

I was a wee bit younger when I returned. MissB Dec 2013 #15

That's a good idea - TBF Dec 2013 #25

I think it's real, but measuring how big of a problem it is, population-wide is problematic. AtheistCrusader Dec 2013 #9

Here's an article describing the Fox commentator's "inspirational" comments spooky3 Dec 2013 #13

How so? LisaL Dec 2013 #14

Agree. 100% blueamy66 Dec 2013 #55

My advice Sienna86 Dec 2013 #4

There is also the scenario in which xulamaude Dec 2013 #47

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass Dec 2013 #5

I never looked at it that way Major Nikon Dec 2013 #11

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass Dec 2013 #19

I was raised during the same time period Major Nikon Dec 2013 #21

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass Dec 2013 #30

"Contributing financially to the marriage and family equalizes the relationship." mac56 Dec 2013 #16

Even if you never break up, relying on a single income is one of the most dangerous-- eridani Dec 2013 #7

It's a lot more dangerous if you are single and you have your job kicked out from under you duffyduff Dec 2013 #38

I've been there for 12 years now... magical thyme Dec 2013 #43

The thing is the author of the piece apparently read "The Cinderella Complex," duffyduff Dec 2013 #46

my career was stolen when I was 48... magical thyme Dec 2013 #64

Just to be clear, right to work is not "at-will" employment duffyduff Dec 2013 #65

Very true. Even in retirement if one of you dies, the other loses the extra SocSec check eridani Dec 2013 #58

My goal is to want to be as independent as possible but now am forced to live with relatives. duffyduff Dec 2013 #60

I agree that it's important for women to keep doing something in the form of Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #8

I agree. For all the reasons respondents to this thread have pointed out. Triana Dec 2013 #10

The author is a licensed therapist. Still Blue in PDX Dec 2013 #12

She became a licensed therapist after her divorce. LisaL Dec 2013 #17

These are the statements that struck nerves. Still Blue in PDX Dec 2013 #57

She sounds like a one-percenter without a clue. duffyduff Dec 2013 #61

My parents, who both worked, gave me this advice: ellie Dec 2013 #18

My mother gave me that advice (not my father) SharonAnn Dec 2013 #27

The problem is an employer can take it all away. duffyduff Dec 2013 #62

I have been telling my TBF Dec 2013 #26

Wow. I couldn't agree less. kag Dec 2013 #20

What happened to her writing career? mainer Dec 2013 #22

I think it's rather obvious that not everybody can make it as a writer. LisaL Dec 2013 #24

But she got to pursue a possible writing career mainer Dec 2013 #28

Very few people can without a trust fund or some other source of income like a spouse duffyduff Dec 2013 #63

Ding ding ding! Winner! cleanhippie Dec 2013 #35

Good advice. It would also help to close the pay gap. n/t lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #23

Okay -- my 2 cents worth GladRagDahl Dec 2013 #29

Solving boredom. ConcernedCanuk Dec 2013 #50

Agreed! Marrah_G Dec 2013 #53

It should say: "Married ladies, don't just sit on your tush." mainer Dec 2013 #31

Someone was dumb enough to do this in the 1990s???? kestrel91316 Dec 2013 #32

I've been stuck in low-paying jobs for a while now, when I am employed, but my TwilightGardener Dec 2013 #33

Everybody should decide for themselves. HappyMe Dec 2013 #34

It seems to me her bigger problem Ms. Toad Dec 2013 #36

I will have to find the article JustAnotherGen Dec 2013 #37

My husband and I were married at 18 yo..47 years ago... Partnership in all it's definitions is... Tikki Dec 2013 #44

I think we need an offshoot thread JustAnotherGen Dec 2013 #56

Put Mr. Tikki through College with a slightly above minimum wage job and his GI benefits�something.. Tikki Dec 2013 #59

Even if you have a job or a "career," that's utterly NO guarantee duffyduff Dec 2013 #39

So she is unhappy with her career choices. aikoaiko Dec 2013 #40

This is very good advice in today's brutal capitalistic world SpcMnky Dec 2013 #41

I am pro-choice on this issue. Nye Bevan Dec 2013 #42

Me too - there are so many ways to structure a family. polichick Dec 2013 #51

Good point treestar Dec 2013 #45

Divorce isn't the only thing to consider. Silver Swan Dec 2013 #48

Not just keep the day job, but... pipi_k Dec 2013 #49

Hah! I was a stay-at-home dad and free-lancer. Works wonders for employability. hunter Dec 2013 #52

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #54