Is porn bad now? I find it a weird topic for anything called "Democratic Underground"...

[MADem]

245. OMG, that website is a GEM!!!!

I'll have to bookmark that beauty--I've run into all those characters!! Right here, too!

Some of these are HILARIOUS, too, e.g.--and the illustrations are flat-out brilliant:

Big Cat would rather not fight...he enjoys peacefully observing forum conversations and laconically participates when the moods strikes. He playfully chases interesting threads, and from time to time uses a Newbie or Propellerhead as a convenient scratching post. He enjoys being stroked or petted, and tends to purr loudly. CAUTION: Don't be fooled by his fuzzy, playful exterior. When provoked, Big Cat reacts with lightning speed and almost always lands on his feet after an attack. Big Cat often indulges himself by toying with his victim before delivering his lethal blows.

Ferrous Cranus is utterly impervious to reason, persuasion and new ideas, and when engaged in battle he will not yield an inch in his position regardless of its hopelessness. Though his thrusts are decisively repulsed, his arguments crushed in every detail and his defenses demolished beyond repair he will remount the same attack again and again with only the slightest variation in tactics. Sometimes out of pure frustration Philosopher will try to explain to him the failed logistics of his situation, or Therapist will attempt to penetrate the psychological origins of his obduracy, but, ever unfathomable, Ferrous Cranus cannot be moved.

The tortured syntax of his messages immediately gives Patois away as a non-native speaker. Patois enters discussion forums with the best of intentions; he may want to get to know Americans, or practice his English, or exchange ideas about a particular subject. Predictably, his malaprops immediately draw fire from Evil Clown and Jerk - even Grammarian may weigh in. At first, Patois tries to parry the thrusts with inept banter, but as his tormenters turn up the heat Patois finally pops his cork. Forgetting what little English he knows he lashes out with sputtering ripostes such as, “ No, you must stopping now because you are a stupid.”, which only causes more piling on. When Eagle Scout, Weenie, an others spring to his defense Patois lavishes them with puppy-like gratitude and loyalty. CAUTION: Impersonating Patois is a favorite ruse of Imposter and Troller.

And this pants-pee-er!

A Swarm hive is almost impossible to detect. When a hapless victim stumbles on a forum that houses a Swarm and disturbs it with an offending message, the Swarm will erupt and fly at their victim from all directions. Taken one at a time the irrelevant, often mindless individual attacks can be easily brushed aside, but because of the sheer volume of the assault even the strongest Warriors must eventually yield. WARNING: Only those who are highly skilled in Swarm management techniques should attempt to wade into a Swarm hive. but even with protective clothing opposing Warriors should expect to suffer a few stings.

Each example is funnier than the next!!