I am South African, and I am ashamed [View all]

[lapislzi]

Full disclosure: I am American born, and I now live in the US. I lived in South Africa between the years of 1985 and 1994. I voted in the first election. I am a white person.

I lived as any South African white person would have lived during that time. I was not especially political. My reasons for moving to South Africa were personal, not political. In my unformed political consciousness, I had a vague understanding of how morally corrupt I was. In the spirit of cognitive dissonance, I snuffed it out. I was selfish and stupid.

I was thrilled when Mr. Mandela was released from prison. I knew his incarceration was wrong, although I could not have articulated why at the time. It was one of South Africa's finest hours. They'd had so few.

I was eligible to vote in the 1994 elections, by virtue of my marriage to a South African man. I did not vote for Mr. Mandela.

Of this I am ashamed.

I thought I was embarked on some kind of moral high road...because the ANC at that time had not officially renounced its armed struggle. I felt that I could not support a party that still called to arms. I supported a little-known and powerless liberal faction of progressive whites. It soothed my unenlightened conscience.

In hindsight, I realize how wrong I was.

I hope DUers can come to understand the political evolution of even the stupidest among us: it can happen. Among the great, like Mr. Mandela, it's organic. The armed struggle may have been part of the ANC's larger political agenda, but it was never close to a defining characteristic for the man. I failed to see that. I see it now. I see what I missed 20 years ago: a man of peace, of hope.

And I am sorry. I have learned. Hopefully, I have learned well. I've sure learned a lot from my DU friends.

I have to live with my vote, but in hindsight, I'm glad I threw it away. The best man won. Farewell, sir.