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WinkyDink

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3. He might yet see the true light. {{LukeFL}}

Reply to LukeFL (Original post)

Fri Dec 6, 2013, 05:29 PM

Dec 2013

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Today has been the worst day of my life [View all] LukeFL Dec 2013 OP

I'm so sorry for you and your sons. EOTE Dec 2013 #1

I'm so sorry. I'm a marriage counselor, please take some advice. Happyhippychick Dec 2013 #2

Good advice... Phentex Dec 2013 #11

Thank you! Happyhippychick Dec 2013 #26

In fact, I went through it ten years ago, with a cheating spouse who wrecked a marriage with two villager Dec 2013 #53

Congrats on making yourself a peaceful life, isn't it wonderful? Happyhippychick Dec 2013 #98

They are indeed wonderful, those kids. I'm at an interesting juncture, with an emptying nest... villager Dec 2013 #116

I tell the women in my groups not to look for a man to marry, but instead to build a Happyhippychick Dec 2013 #119

Well, thanks. I guess part of it is the "letting go," and realizing it's not entirely my decision,l villager Dec 2013 #123

Excellent advice! LeftofObama Dec 2013 #46

He might yet see the true light. {{LukeFL}} WinkyDink Dec 2013 #3

So true! 20 year marriage weighs heavy B Calm Dec 2013 #95

Your trust has been violated. Know that is all on him. boston bean Dec 2013 #4

I'm so sorry catbyte Dec 2013 #5

Thank you.. He wanted LukeFL Dec 2013 #18

It's normal to be scared malaise Dec 2013 #27

Your feelings are understandable. bluestate10 Dec 2013 #48

Yes, she should get a lawyer NOW, not after New Year's Hekate Dec 2013 #88

+++++++++++++++++1!!!!!!! MADem Dec 2013 #107

+2 MrsBrady Dec 2013 #118

Really, not to have a "sad" face until after Christmas? nenagh Dec 2013 #64

Sounds like a very selfish person -- you have already shown enormous strength if KurtNYC Dec 2013 #142

I am so sorry this is happening to you. Hang in there! raging moderate Dec 2013 #6

I am sorry Nictuku Dec 2013 #7

This message was self-deleted by its author lostincalifornia Dec 2013 #8

OMG. closeupready Dec 2013 #14

It is a question of survival, and her children's well being. No way to sugar coat it lostincalifornia Dec 2013 #17

Unless she makes more. Then he should do the same. closeupready Dec 2013 #24

I doubt that he will find much standing with a jury or Judge if the OP hires a good bluestate10 Dec 2013 #36

+1 for the sake of the kids get the phone messages from communal line and take everything he's got big_dog Dec 2013 #30

+1 Close out any joint credit cards KurtNYC Dec 2013 #143

get mercuryblues Dec 2013 #9

Yes. The first thing that she must do is hire a damned good lawyer. The OP kept her bluestate10 Dec 2013 #33

How long have you been separated? FarCenter Dec 2013 #10

So sorry, but you will get through it eventually and emerge stronger. Shrike47 Dec 2013 #12

Exactly... sendero Dec 2013 #40

You have my sympathy. Laelth Dec 2013 #13

I'm so sorry... Phentex Dec 2013 #15

i am so sorry. i hope it all works out Liberal_in_LA Dec 2013 #16

{{hugs}} Delphinus Dec 2013 #19

If he cheated on you, the mother of his two children, he will cheat on her. It's almost a given. monmouth3 Dec 2013 #20

Same thing happened to my aunt LittleBlue Dec 2013 #21

Please, please, PLEASE keep this in the forefront of your thoughts: Lizzie Poppet Dec 2013 #22

Best thing that ever happened to me was to find out. broiles Dec 2013 #23

I hope it's just manopause. lpbk2713 Dec 2013 #25

I am single, but one realism that I live with and keep in mind is that if I ever got married, bluestate10 Dec 2013 #32

Like Paul Newman said ... lpbk2713 Dec 2013 #45

From what others are saying, it sounds as if there is a light at the hedgehog Dec 2013 #28

Lady, please, for the sake of your sons, gather yourself. bluestate10 Dec 2013 #29

I'm so sorry. Doremus Dec 2013 #31

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Dec 2013 #34

I'm so sorry your life and your sons' lives are Cha Dec 2013 #35

Been there OldHippieChick Dec 2013 #37

I have to second this strongly. Protect yourself. He is at sea and unreliable...you have to CTyankee Dec 2013 #41

Same thing happened to me cliffordu Dec 2013 #38

your children will still love their father and see himj. grasswire Dec 2013 #39

You are suffering through a loss... StarryNite Dec 2013 #42

So sorry to hear that. Kaleva Dec 2013 #43

Hold your head up, take care of yourself, thecrow Dec 2013 #44

Hire a lawyer & kick his ass out - TBF Dec 2013 #47

Retain a lawyer MrScorpio Dec 2013 #49

If you are in FL, you are in what is considered a long term marriage, so you should glowing Dec 2013 #50

Thank you. LukeFL Dec 2013 #129

First, just breathe. Many of us have been there and there is no pain in the world like it. 1monster Dec 2013 #51

I am so, so sorry distantearlywarning Dec 2013 #52

Most of us understand at least partially by our own experience BlueJazz Dec 2013 #54

I've been there and I know what it feels like passiveporcupine Dec 2013 #55

Sorry that your are being put through such pain rudolph the red Dec 2013 #56

I am gonna go the other way here.... Bennyboy Dec 2013 #57

No, no and, in case you missed it: NO. ladyVet Dec 2013 #85

that BS only works if both sides are willing to work on it hard enough. hobbit709 Dec 2013 #124

Agreed, both sides need to work on it...... Bennyboy Dec 2013 #126

I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with this crap. giftedgirl77 Dec 2013 #58

I hope you will let someone help you. Half-Century Man Dec 2013 #59

been there.... madrchsod Dec 2013 #60

*hugs* sakabatou Dec 2013 #61

I know you're getting a lot of advice here... kag Dec 2013 #62

It sucks Go Vols Dec 2013 #63

Post removed Post removed Dec 2013 #65

Some things in life transcend politics. This one of them. badtoworse Dec 2013 #69

Wow, imagine if someone said the same thing about women. Classy. n-t Logical Dec 2013 #74

Neither Obama or Bill Clinton got a majority of the White Male vote.... Spitfire of ATJ Dec 2013 #84

I didn't pick up from the OP that her husband is white Capt. Obvious Dec 2013 #102

Some things are universal.... Spitfire of ATJ Dec 2013 #115

Plenty of women cheat too. n/t distantearlywarning Dec 2013 #80

omg, I've so been there. huge hugs to you. laundry_queen Dec 2013 #66

I hope you can quickly find some peace. AuntFester Dec 2013 #67

You aren't the first woman this has happened to and you won't be the last. Warpy Dec 2013 #68

I told him to leave the house LukeFL Dec 2013 #91

Here is all I can give you that Sissyk Dec 2013 #117

Lawyer up. Warpy Dec 2013 #128

File for legal seperation.....ASAP! Protect yourself! SammyWinstonJack Dec 2013 #132

Was it in anger or haste? thecrow Dec 2013 #133

It's the first time I do this LukeFL Dec 2013 #135

...about your sons.... thecrow Dec 2013 #139

And what right do you think she has to do this? Drahthaardogs Dec 2013 #140

I told her first thecrow Dec 2013 #146

Here's wishing you nothing but the best! nt Demo_Chris Dec 2013 #70

I am so sorry for you. I hope that you can recover from this blow. badtoworse Dec 2013 #71

I am so sorry. RiffRandell Dec 2013 #72

Get a lawyer. Immediately. Remove every single piece of.paper that documents income, taxes msanthrope Dec 2013 #73

I went through this - in 840high Dec 2013 #75

I know what you're going through. mia Dec 2013 #76

So sorry- lots of good counsel here. roody Dec 2013 #77

Feels like a sledgehammer doesn't it..... alittlelark Dec 2013 #78

CORRECTION: the worst day of your life was yesterday, when you did NOT know that you are on the LaydeeBug Dec 2013 #79

^^^THIS^^^ alittlelark Dec 2013 #86

^^^This!^^^ Surya Gayatri Dec 2013 #113

I'm so sorry this happened to you. bravenak Dec 2013 #81

I'm so sorry LukeFL. polly7 Dec 2013 #82

Very sorry to hear that. You've been given some great advice on this thread. Captain Stern Dec 2013 #83

Awful thing to happen. Sorry you're having to deal with it. Tigress DEM Dec 2013 #87

Oh, honey Hekate Dec 2013 #89

Pay close attention to what has already been said here SheilaT Dec 2013 #90

If you want to really jar him back into reality, B Calm Dec 2013 #92

Sorry, I see that as bad advice. randome Dec 2013 #101

I guess we'll have to disagree. 20 years is a lot of time to B Calm Dec 2013 #111

Not everyone is open to being 'woken up'. But congrats to you for being one of them! randome Dec 2013 #112

Some good suggestions here. I encourage you to hire a barracuda lawyer ASAP. raccoon Dec 2013 #93

Sorry for what you're going through. randome Dec 2013 #94

Stop beating up on yourself at this very minute. mstinamotorcity2 Dec 2013 #96

Hugs. idwiyo Dec 2013 #97

{{{LukeFL}}} leftynyc Dec 2013 #99

I'm sorry. LWolf Dec 2013 #100

This sucks - and you're going to be grieving for a while Capt. Obvious Dec 2013 #103

I agree with the no 'revenge' thing. HappyMe Dec 2013 #108

this happened to me in 6 months ago irisblue Dec 2013 #104

It's called Middle Aged Crazy and it happens. I have some practical thoughts for you. MADem Dec 2013 #105

I hope the love being sent to you by our DU community helps in some small way. Tom Rinaldo Dec 2013 #106

Some very good advice in this thread. 99Forever Dec 2013 #109

LukeFL, the essential person in this dramatic triangle is you... Surya Gayatri Dec 2013 #110

Sorry to hear this...Been there maddezmom Dec 2013 #114

This message was self-deleted by its author polichick Dec 2013 #120

He has no idea what he is asking for. gulliver Dec 2013 #121

"The worst day" is now over - things will get better from here... polichick Dec 2013 #122

I feel sad for you BUT SoCalDem Dec 2013 #125

She is not getting the man you married. She is getting the much used model. searchingforlight Dec 2013 #127

Just wanted to check in. distantearlywarning Dec 2013 #130

Be prepared mercuryblues Dec 2013 #131

Do you get along with his parents? thecrow Dec 2013 #134

well you have one heck of a support group Omaha Steve Dec 2013 #136

How are you doing tonight LukeFL? Keeping you in my thoughts riderinthestorm Dec 2013 #137

I am so sorry, LukeFL... derby378 Dec 2013 #138

I'm so sorry this happened to you. AverageJoe90 Dec 2013 #141

. myrna minx Dec 2013 #144

I'm so sorry. Cleita Dec 2013 #145