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WilliamPitt

(58,179 posts) Mon Dec 9, 2013, 10:50 AM Dec 2013

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NOT THE ONION. I REPEAT: NOT THE ONION. Take appropriate precautions. [View all]

There’s Now A Coloring Book To Teach Your Children To Love Ted Cruz
ThinkProgress

Are you a new parent terrified that the liberal media will turn your child into an Obama supporter? Or do you just need something to entertain your kids during those long drives to Tea Party rallies? If so, then a brand new coloring book is just the thing for your family! The “Ted Cruz to the Future™ – Comic Coloring Activity Book” is a “non-partisan, fact-driven view of how Texas Sen. Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz became a U.S. senator and details, through his quotes and public information his ideas for what he believes will help America grow,” according to its publisher Really Big Coloring Books.

Some of the “non-partisan, fact-driven” things children will learn from the new book are:

* Ted Cruz Is A Man Of Great Virility And Stamina: Many “career establishment politicians are far too out of shape, old or overweight to even perform such a magnificent feat” as standing on the Senate floor and talking for over 21 hours. But not Ted Cruz!

* Ted Cruz Can See The Future: Cruz spoke with “clairvoyant precision” about the “quickly approaching Obama Care disaster.

The rest: http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2013/12/09/3036431/good-news-tea-party-parents-coloring-book-teach-children-love-ted-cruz/

Still don't believe me?

The goddam thing is available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=coloring+books+and+ted+cruz&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acoloring+books+and+ted+cruz

172 replies

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NOT THE ONION. I REPEAT: NOT THE ONION. Take appropriate precautions. [View all] WilliamPitt Dec 2013 OP

You are a *tease*, Mr. Pitt MannyGoldstein Dec 2013 #1

I didn't say you could have one. WilliamPitt Dec 2013 #2

But did you color them yet? pinboy3niner Dec 2013 #19

STOP IT PINBOY3NINER Skittles Dec 2013 #107

You forgot the barf alert. lol InAbLuEsTaTe Dec 2013 #80

Here are some pages you can print for yourself Electric Monk Dec 2013 #128

This reviewer at Amazon feels your pain... Junkdrawer Dec 2013 #172

From school boards to this, they are trying hard to indoctrinate kids Gman Dec 2013 #3

Not really. But you would be in a panic to recruit young people too,.... Spitfire of ATJ Dec 2013 #89

LOL! Gman Dec 2013 #146

wouldnt giving this to your kids rdking647 Dec 2013 #4

note, the top leaf on the tree is labeled White House--subtle! librechik Dec 2013 #5

I wonder what the buttercups on the tree represent Blue Owl Dec 2013 #24

Notice the base, "Tea Plant" That's the kind of flower on a Tea Camellia AnotherDreamWeaver Dec 2013 #82

I'm surprised -- wasn't expecting it to make sense! Blue Owl Dec 2013 #100

I see he is for grass, tho. dixiegrrrrl Dec 2013 #55

Not really hootinholler Dec 2013 #151

Wow! What mind fucking, manchurian candidate hyping, asshole Cha Dec 2013 #133

Justification for and only book burning event I would ever support. n/r UtahLib Dec 2013 #6

I like the big dollar sign the kids can color in their The Tea Party coloring book..............ugh lunasun Dec 2013 #7

the review rule but this is about my favorite roguevalley Dec 2013 #155

Dios mio. marmar Dec 2013 #8

mon Dieu progressoid Dec 2013 #40

Um Himmels willen. Mira Dec 2013 #42

Da legst di nieder. Himmelarschundzwirn. DetlefK Dec 2013 #65

Als ob ich das nicht selber w�sste. The second is Bavarian as well. Mira Dec 2013 #86

my favorite German cuss grasswire Dec 2013 #103

auch... xocet Dec 2013 #49

For sure! mountain grammy Dec 2013 #67

For all ages says it all don't it. Johonny Dec 2013 #9

No reviews yet. surrealAmerican Dec 2013 #10

Yeah, gonna be lots of fun to read them. Get the popcorn ready. DinahMoeHum Dec 2013 #14

I found this review dixiegrrrrl Dec 2013 #57

I couldn't resist i wrote a review, Heather MC Dec 2013 #121

I will "like" it next time I am there. dixiegrrrrl Dec 2013 #123

Awww My First Amazon "Like" Heather MC Dec 2013 #124

8 reviews as of now! NastyRiffraff Dec 2013 #93

ted puppet crazy cruz likes to play around with children's stories?.. Cha Dec 2013 #136

Well, if you're going to color it, here you go... KansDem Dec 2013 #11

Oh O. I see a tangle of serpents underlying the Tree of Knowledge Berlum Dec 2013 #12

ROFL malaise Dec 2013 #13

This is looks a lot like some previous work Botany Dec 2013 #15

Up two thumbies. DinahMoeHum Dec 2013 #18

Amen. Fearless Leader (R - EvangoBagger Style) Berlum Dec 2013 #22

+1 L0oniX Dec 2013 #48

... Spitfire of ATJ Dec 2013 #157

jesus christ is this real? B Calm Dec 2013 #16

Apparently so... jmowreader Dec 2013 #113

LOL llmart Dec 2013 #142

He wouldn't have been manly enough to read Dr. Seuss with no testicles, now would he? jmowreader Dec 2013 #143

gun rights are growing from the 10 commandments? bluemarkers Dec 2013 #17

Not to mention freedom of religion jberryhill Dec 2013 #32

Is there some evil overlord in control of the world? Rex Dec 2013 #20

He's the Senator of Tomorrow -- TODAY! Blue Owl Dec 2013 #21

Check the page in the coming weeks to see the comment section. alfredo Dec 2013 #23

I actually signed in just to give "votes" dixiegrrrrl Dec 2013 #115

Isn't there anyone in Texas that will stand up and put a stop to this ignorant ..... UCmeNdc Dec 2013 #25

It might be, if there were a kid on the planet... JHB Dec 2013 #28

I am not sure it was meant only for kids. dixiegrrrrl Dec 2013 #62

Oh, these things are NEVER actually for the kids JHB Dec 2013 #95

Hard to believe this is not satire. trusty elf Dec 2013 #26

trusty elf!!!! you've done it again!!!!!!!!!! BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #53

Nice to hear from you, Blanche! trusty elf Dec 2013 #116

Wicked Berlum Dec 2013 #58

Glad you liked it, Berlum! trusty elf Dec 2013 #118

For once I'm speechless Mira Dec 2013 #88

Mira, you're very kind! trusty elf Dec 2013 #117

What a brilliant piece of photoshopping! LongTomH Dec 2013 #110

Please feel free to use it.... trusty elf Dec 2013 #119

This brought tears to my eyes. liberalmuse Dec 2013 #129

Definitely not a "fun" coloring book JHB Dec 2013 #27

Be afraid, little children. Be very afraid....... Beacool Dec 2013 #29

here Bea, take this and forget about that evil man... dionysus Dec 2013 #56

A Pooh bankie!!! Beacool Dec 2013 #87

I Picture His "Cruz To The Future" as a 50's drive in grilled onions Dec 2013 #30

Makes a great Christmas gift! Ganja Ninja Dec 2013 #31

Children across America will be screaming! LongTomH Dec 2013 #111

Butt wait!!! Plucketeer Dec 2013 #114

Finally a book that George W can understand! 6000eliot Dec 2013 #33

I like the part where Ted shows us the future. BlueJazz Dec 2013 #34

That picture took so long to load that my modem got real hot. L0oniX Dec 2013 #37

or, this future NewJeffCT Dec 2013 #66

I like yours better. There's a road and maybe even a Wal Mart at the top far Left ! BlueJazz Dec 2013 #78

since Republicans seem to love China so much NewJeffCT Dec 2013 #81

Is that old Walled City in Hong Kong? brett_jv Dec 2013 #150

Not sure NewJeffCT Dec 2013 #165

This future is more likely if the Republicans gain control again LongTomH Dec 2013 #112

And the reviews start coming in..... Junkdrawer Dec 2013 #35

I submitted a review just to help out. L0oniX Dec 2013 #43

Can't wait for the paint by numbers edition. L0oniX Dec 2013 #36

Next will be the TED CRUZ crayon collection. Bennyboy Dec 2013 #38

Roots at the bottom!!?? JimboBillyBubbaBob Dec 2013 #39

I see a review in my future... JohnnyRingo Dec 2013 #41

At any given time agent46 Dec 2013 #44

"Ted Cruz Is A Man Of Great Virility And Stamina" geomon666 Dec 2013 #45

No, no -- that's "a massive Koch"... Hekate Dec 2013 #162

Gonna need some extra Bullshit Brown crayons. JEB Dec 2013 #46

Notice how the "Gun Rights" leaf geardaddy Dec 2013 #47

"Tell the Truth - Tell it Often - Tell the Children" jtuck004 Dec 2013 #50

Comes with only one crayon..... A big fat white one. NightWatcher Dec 2013 #51

Ha! I was just about to post - it doesn't come with a black crayon underpants Dec 2013 #84

Talk about low hanging fruit. The jokes write themselves NightWatcher Dec 2013 #105

Let me help xulamaude Dec 2013 #52

LOVE this review on Amazon!!! Quixote1818 Dec 2013 #54

Make sure to say the "good" reviews NewJeffCT Dec 2013 #75

Here are a couple of others from the same publisher: arcane1 Dec 2013 #59

And I thought Newt Gingrich had an ego the size of a planet Aerows Dec 2013 #60

Awesome jsr Dec 2013 #61

What fresh hell is this? Rex Dec 2013 #63

It's fresh, in kind of a smelly way nolabels Dec 2013 #77

Take a look at some of their other issues. geardaddy Dec 2013 #64

Out of stock on amazon NewJeffCT Dec 2013 #68

Probably. calimary Dec 2013 #94

Comments by the publisher: AAO Dec 2013 #69

. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #70

Dear Jesus, Rapture Ted Cruz asap... polichick Dec 2013 #71

I used the Amazon feedback box to point out dixiegrrrrl Dec 2013 #72

Great idea! emsimon33 Dec 2013 #126

it's a coloring book, and speaks to the reader at a third grade level mnmoderatedem Dec 2013 #73

I'm sure NewJeffCT Dec 2013 #79

It's aimed at idiots. nm Cha Dec 2013 #137

Changing America, one indoctinated child at a time.. mountain grammy Dec 2013 #74

The only thing Ted has going for him packman Dec 2013 #76

Juanita Jean is laughing about this comic book Gothmog Dec 2013 #83

OMG "The coloring book will keep Dubya busy during this very long trip." LMAO L0oniX Dec 2013 #145

Does it come with Canadian crayons? underpants Dec 2013 #85

Can we order crayons with it? Spirochete Dec 2013 #90

Yes, but you won't like the colors -- Nay Dec 2013 #167

Temporarily out of stock! mainer Dec 2013 #91

Out of Stock. I sense a lot of gag (literally) gifts this year. nolabear Dec 2013 #92

I'll wait for the Kindle Edition. Buns_of_Fire Dec 2013 #96

You can also pre-order his filibuster speech! treestar Dec 2013 #97

Notice that 2naSalit Dec 2013 #98

6 of 7 'reviews', at least so far; greiner3 Dec 2013 #99

Now, if they would put Mein kampf in comic book form, janlyn Dec 2013 #101

The tree roots look like FSM... Wounded Bear Dec 2013 #102

Just sick, sick, sick! nonoxy9 Dec 2013 #104

All I can say, Will, is... ReRe Dec 2013 #106

Is that a CANADIAN Maple tree? Tom Ripley Dec 2013 #108

It's a CANADIAN politician. They go together. jmowreader Dec 2013 #144

I particularly like this comment... geardaddy Dec 2013 #109

Is this supposed to make up for those christmas presents Scott Walker stole from teabagger's kids? Matariki Dec 2013 #120

It won't be in my house. mstinamotorcity2 Dec 2013 #122

The Amazon reviews are priceless emsimon33 Dec 2013 #125

that's worth it right there.. thanks emsimon nm Cha Dec 2013 #132

Liberals make the absolute best critics. Awesome! nt adirondacker Dec 2013 #139

This is all about generating wealth for Teabagger Elected Officials... Blue Idaho Dec 2013 #127

If you have not read TNNurse Dec 2013 #130

biggest question is onethatcares Dec 2013 #131

Did anyone read the pages in the preview????? ChangeUp106 Dec 2013 #134

Am I the only one bothered by the quotations marks around "Ted" Cruz? Nine Dec 2013 #135

Is it just me? I find this coloring book rather off-putting. scarletwoman Dec 2013 #138

more propaganda TimeToEvolve Dec 2013 #140

what gopiscrap Dec 2013 #169

Does it have a geometry section? Warren DeMontague Dec 2013 #141

Trapezoid? shenmue Dec 2013 #159

LOOKS LIKE THE ONION, LOOKS LIKE THE ONION, LOOKS LIKE THE ONION..... Katashi_itto Dec 2013 #147

Kim Jong Il could control the weather according to his Cult of Personality Nanjing to Seoul Dec 2013 #148

Ted wants to be our next "Dear Leader" Botany Dec 2013 #164

What a maroon. blkmusclmachine Dec 2013 #149

Here's my review. It's currently "under consideration." We'll see if it gets printed. NBachers Dec 2013 #152

good one NewJeffCT Dec 2013 #166

he will need to come out with a dumbed-down version at some point Enrique Dec 2013 #153

my review roguevalley Dec 2013 #154

Scott Walker probably... 3catwoman3 Dec 2013 #156

I wouldn't even give this to someone I hate. Nika Dec 2013 #158

Make sure you color in the tiny penis donheld Dec 2013 #160

The new GOP logo nikto Dec 2013 #161

Cthulhu loves you! LongTomH Dec 2013 #170

That was a fun visit to Amazon. Didn't leave a comment, but recced up a bunch. Hekate Dec 2013 #163

The fatal flaw in this is HillWilliam Dec 2013 #168

Okay, second reply - why the FUCK is he pointing at a tree? Rex Dec 2013 #171