General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: "Mother of girl involved in 'kissing' discipline speaks out" [View all]KitSileya
(4,035 posts)That his mother, and half the country, if you look at DU castigates the school for what they did, and makes a big brouhaha about how unfair this is, may teach him that he wasn't at fault - may teach other kids that when this happens to them, they should just take it, because it is cute and kids will be kids. I do not think 6 is too young to learn that you can say no if someone wants to kiss you and you don't want to. It is a lesson not often taught, by parents who admonish their kids to kiss grandpa, and to hug auntie, even if they don't want to. 6 is also not too young to learn that you cannot hug or kiss anyone who does not want it, and that you cannot hug or kiss anyone anywhere if you have been told, as this kid has been, that he cannot do it in class. The mother persists in calling the little girl his "girlfriend" - she labels them "boyfriend and girlfriend" and said that the girl didn't mind. Is it such a leap to assume that the mother encourages this fantasy, when it is abundantly clear that the girl does not like it and it has been addressed multiple times by the school?
We cannot say what this specific boy will do in the future, but this is part of our culture that tells girls that they must smile at men when they ask them to on the street, that says to girls that they must give their time and attention to strangers on the bus, lest they be branded rude and b&/chy, that tells boys that they must chase girls, and pressure them, and try to get laid in any way they can. This is one of the places where it starts.
As for the possibility of trauma, I suggested that that may be one of the reasons why the school decided to label this behavior sexual harassment in the files. (Apart from the fact that persistent unwanted kissing is sexual harassment.) Should something turn up later, they then have a comprehensive file on his behavior of acting out and the way he acted out. No one would have know what their notes said but them and the parents of the boy, if the mother hadn't gone to the media.