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In reply to the discussion: "Mother of girl involved in 'kissing' discipline speaks out" [View all]
TBF
(35,463 posts)166. It's a difficult case but I'm glad you posted this --
It's way too often that we hear "boys will be boys" and "that's cute" etc ...
But I also hear loud & clear that this is a young child so why stigmatize.
The answer is that both sides are correct. While the child needs to hear "this is unacceptable" I hope that he is able to have some counseling to better understand boundaries about touching. I wouldn't want him labeled as anything at this age. But at the same time the behavior must stop. Even at 5 or 6 a child can understand when they are told not to do something.
I have both a daughter and a son. When my son was in kindergarten his best friend got reprimanded for hugging and kissing him at school. They are good friends and his mom called to apologize which I felt was unnecessary. These two boys are just very good friends so they are affectionate. But the other boy didn't have to be told twice either - he didn't do that again at school.
Hopefully this will be a learning experience for him and not hurt either child long term.
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That boy's going to get his ass kicked. And he's going to deserve it. And the girl who does it will
LeftyMom
Dec 2013
#1
Well, considering that the school actually reacted appropriately, perhaps not.
KitSileya
Dec 2013
#4
I think he is. Since his family took this to the media and is throwing a damned fit,
LeftyMom
Dec 2013
#5
If he wants it, the girl must be his "girlfriend" no matter what she wants...
CTyankee
Dec 2013
#348
well. there we go. and all the angst that it was wanted, and nothin, ect... good for the school.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#2
and the men thru out this thread are totally reinforcing it. i posted the deleted, but yes...
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#65
i had it on the reverse side raising two sons. one boy was kissed at five, hated it, was angry
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#135
This little boy has to be taught that unwanted touching has consequences before he gets old enough
liberal_at_heart
Dec 2013
#3
I never saw it as anything but sexual harrassment. It was posted in threads as if it was innocent.
freshwest
Dec 2013
#8
the story in the OP is about a girl who did not want it and the boy refused to stop
JI7
Dec 2013
#17
i did not read it. but, i will tell you my experience with my 5 yr old son that was kissed by a
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#18
Because I don't live in the district, know any of the children, or work in the school...
ScreamingMeemie
Dec 2013
#128
so it is ok for a boy to continue harass a girl, stop her from playing with her friends, isolate her
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#20
the kids was doing this to the girl, he was stopping her from playing, teacher stepped
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#25
really? truly amazing. that you just do not care about the infringement on the little girl.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#29
and you would be the only one with hair on fire with this rant. so i gotta figure it is your way of
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#30
WTF, is ANY of what you post grounded in reality- or human decency? It appears neither of those
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#147
of course. just another form of being disrespectful and disruptive. you boys can high five each
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#43
Let me post the relevant quotes from the article where the girl's mother speaks out.
KitSileya
Dec 2013
#56
Read the full article. The boy was a persistent molester and intervention was required.
NYC_SKP
Dec 2013
#188
Hey, sport. I'm reading ALL of your replies in this thread. You're fooling nobody. Here:
NYC_SKP
Dec 2013
#194
ah. see. you stepped over the line to really offensive. watch your child being bullied and then
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#243
that is your goal? seeing how ugly and outrageous you can be to get a reaction? kinda reinforces
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#267
Right, because any parent that teaches her child that others have no right to touch her without
BainsBane
Dec 2013
#364
people here seem to think men and women pop out fully formed, behaving nothing like their prior
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#399
Fascinating to find someone arguing for men's entitlement to buy women here
geek tragedy
Dec 2013
#172
if the two are not connected. thru out the threads. didnt want to call attention but so obvious
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#174
I suppose many people will rationalize the little boy as the victim in all this.
LanternWaste
Dec 2013
#130
So you are like white on rice in threads about Pope/Gay Rights but you are snide when it comes to
KittyWampus
Dec 2013
#380
If I was a kid today, I'd devote my life to ridding the world of as many
Egalitarian Thug
Dec 2013
#40
one kid has made it thru school and one kid is a couple years out. never had any issue.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#41
or parents that did not put up with crap, had expectation of behavior and knew what was going on in
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#52
Anti-woman twofer: try to make men/boys the victim and then throw a hissy fit
geek tragedy
Dec 2013
#180
Apparently, I missed another DU flamefest. Do I understand correctly that half of the board is
Egalitarian Thug
Dec 2013
#37
A little boy was suspended for repeatedly bothering other classmates and being disruptive.
redqueen
Dec 2013
#50
you have a problem with them documenting the issue? and it arises again, they clearly understand
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#63
i think him thinking it's ok to keep doing things to girls they don't want is worse
JI7
Dec 2013
#66
"Sexual harassment is bothering a girl in a way you wouldn't bother a boy." See, easy!
LeftyMom
Dec 2013
#69
If that is true, then I would hope it is because schools are stopping boys from
CTyankee
Dec 2013
#361
OK, thank you all very much for the replies, I've read three articles now,
Egalitarian Thug
Dec 2013
#60
ya. that is about how the mom responded. hence, missing the opportunity to teach her son
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#67
If I had kids I would get them so far away from this nation of bat-shit insane maniacs,
Egalitarian Thug
Dec 2013
#80
Little boys, kissing girls who do not want it, and not stopping when told to stop?
KitSileya
Dec 2013
#86
You mean the little six year old girl who had to endure multiple kisses on her
Egalitarian Thug
Dec 2013
#101
Please re-read the last sentence of my previous reply. You really need it. n/t
Egalitarian Thug
Dec 2013
#108
perhaps you'd be happier in parts of India or Africa where little girls are routinely abused?
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#176
People who use words like "persistent molester" to describe a 6 year old?
lumberjack_jeff
Dec 2013
#434
looks like there are some who think Girls should be forced to allow guys to touch them as they want
JI7
Dec 2013
#72
Six year old boys don't know which side of their underwear smells the worst
Nanjing to Seoul
Dec 2013
#73
The kid is six years old. Whatever happened to sitting down with his mother in the principal's
Nanjing to Seoul
Dec 2013
#251
they did. a number of times. first talk. then time out. then inschool detention. then suspension
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#255
wrong. 6 yr olds are perfectly capable with appropriate and connecting parenting. just not that
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#278
jeezus. the kids was not addressed about sexual fuckin harassment. they sat down and talked to the
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#281
The boy has a serious behavior problem, and suspension is an appropriate consequence for his actions
Maedhros
Dec 2013
#74
And if you had read the articles, you would know that these steps had been taken.
KitSileya
Dec 2013
#99
appropriate steps were taking all the way thru this and the behavior continued.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#138
The issue I have with this is equating it with some kind of sexual deviancy.
Blue_In_AK
Dec 2013
#95
it got national attention because his mother who lied about the girl wanting it went to the media
JI7
Dec 2013
#97
the parents were talked to asking them to tell boys it was not acceptable. one boy stopped
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#245
You should realize there are a lot of parents out there who encourage this behavior
Major Nikon
Dec 2013
#104
It wouldn't have drawn national attention if the mother hadn't gone to the press.
KitSileya
Dec 2013
#107
The girl that lived on the corner, Karen Cornelius (Yes, I still remember her name) used to kick
Egalitarian Thug
Dec 2013
#111
or a parent can do there job and address the issue instead of ignoring. giving a valued lesson to
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#139
The irony of that reply is so rich on so many levels, one has to wonder whether
Egalitarian Thug
Dec 2013
#445
Maybe the fiery language of sexual harassment isn't quite appropriate. Perhaps it could have
Ed Suspicious
Dec 2013
#106
you say ask, so i ask. having read your post above, you unequivocally say this behavior was wrong.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#352
Warren Zevon's macabre tale is of a boy that everyone dismissed as excitable
Major Nikon
Dec 2013
#355
thanks. i agree. one does not have to be a child psychologist to know. all one does is have to be
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#358
true. i imagine you see there would have been outrage. or equally, and was asked often
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#373
you were not the one repeated told... you hate men. over and over in these threads.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#383
exactly katsy. right on. my boys fought very little and last 5 yrs none at all. they shared
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#300
since you so unfailry put us in a box, be clear i have seen all of us address the mom as the issue.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#187
ya. and if it is not addressed to me, and the group you are talking, you would be wrong
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#195
Thanks for elaborating, but I didn't realize I'd be inviting you into a hornets' nest.
Lasher
Dec 2013
#217
lot's of my friends teach, and it is disturbing to hear what some 6-10 year olds do and say.
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#406
of course they know. some even brag about how young kids are watching porn. and brag about
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#414
if you talk about women at all here, it has been to use or defend sexist language
geek tragedy
Dec 2013
#202
i guess the only solution for empathy is all women and girls stay far far away from all men
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#213
The reality is that you said that women who get raped bring it upon themselves
geek tragedy
Dec 2013
#220
Yes, your stance is that unless women are wearing burkas they provoke rapists
geek tragedy
Dec 2013
#230
classic whore virgin thing. if you have sex with someone else, why not me too? unless you're in
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#420
" but the Mom, GF , sister.... they are saints,"... unless they do something than man deems makes
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#427
and yet another post of boys will be boys. there is a whole lot to address with this issue from a
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#145
man hating. i stand up for the boy, capable of comprehending and needing the guiding hand of the
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#316
btw... ".he is six years old". the little girl was 6 yrs old for crying out loud
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#317
where the fuck did you fuckin hear me talk about fuckin ADULT sexual harassment any fuckin where....
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#319
kids will be kids. silly stuff. wrapped in cotton. immune to physical contact.interpersonal relation
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#385
If children are not taught to respect boundaries of both themselves and others
BainsBane
Dec 2013
#391
you did not address a single thing i posted. YOU are making up your own argument to throw YOUR
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#320
anytime darlin' and i would never ignore you, the what appears to be satire is too delicious.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#471
"He's a six year old sexual deviant!" one poster besides you running around saying shit like this.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#168
one post where i called the kid a sexual predator. one. one post where i blame the kid for his
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#190
boys will be boys, after all. And when he's taught that this is okay, why
geek tragedy
Dec 2013
#200
Sad tidings to those here in the 16th century. Charges hath been dropped.
Katashi_itto
Dec 2013
#149
it is a punishment when talking failed, time out failed, in school suspension failed, out of school
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#155
split hairs? truth. lie. reality. illusion. split hairs? lol. going to jail. not.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#163
oh my god, how you have to fit that square peg into your round hole. lmao. what you will find,
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#171
you do this little boy no good, with this attitude. you only set him up for failure. why?
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#159
that is all he has. yet to have one post of substance. no reality in his running around with hair
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#169
it should sound familiar as i have watched a number of your posts being simply immature failures
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#177
actually talking about child development, parenting, responsibility of school, and us as a
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#193
ya. lol. every. single. one. what, you have only posted 4 or 5 posts in months, years????
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#198
really? one in a trillion? not a 100, not a million, but trillion? the post you refer to
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#371
ah. so accusing a person of lacking substance is cool. backing it up, not so much. challenging an
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#376
No, it's you "boys will be boys so let them assault girls" types who are in the 16th century.
geek tragedy
Dec 2013
#181
Because in the 21st century, obtaining consent before touching another person
BainsBane
Dec 2013
#293
ah. when there was a made up story by mom, there was a boundary discussion? cause the moms story
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#472
i guess you are totally overlooking the many men that professed it is boys being boys,
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#475
so. when i read warren saying there were emotionally damaged... you are talking about duers. this
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#477
When a parent rushes to the media and compalins about how her child can do no wrong...
joeybee12
Dec 2013
#152
What would the reaction have been if the boy had been planting unwanted kisses on another boy?
Nine
Dec 2013
#178
no one is hanging anything on the kid. and those saying it is the parents failure, are the ones
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#204
the parents aren't teaching him--they're going on television saying what he did was just fine. nt
geek tragedy
Dec 2013
#216
um. the sons mom was on news last night saying she was a GF and wanted it. teachers, school cant
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#254
no. it is not a feminist issue. it is a parental issue. thank you for taking it away from a
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#259
I guess when the shoe is on the other foot in a couple of years when her daughter is chasing down
Pisces
Dec 2013
#231
if her daughter is kissing , touching guys who told her to stop she should be punished also
JI7
Dec 2013
#241
He's 6 !!! My god do you people not have children??? I tell my kids not to do lots of things they
Pisces
Dec 2013
#252
it's not normal to continue to touch another person when told to stop, and now you are blaming
JI7
Dec 2013
#260
He kissed her had for gods sake!! Kids like to bother people that makes them do annoying shit
Pisces
Dec 2013
#274
it's been said many times that there were no legal authorities involved in this, he was not legally
JI7
Dec 2013
#275
repeatedly... the parents were told. the kids talked to. then time out and told. then inschool
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#283
Six year olds can easily understand they may not touch and kiss others if it is unwanted
MattBaggins
Dec 2013
#264
That is ridiculous. Of course he can be taught not to kiss her. If the parents are never informed
Pisces
Dec 2013
#271
the parent was repeatedly told about the issue. she said he is an energitic boy, bf, gf and the
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#284
yes. there certainly is the strong push to fabricate this story. i assumed it was cause so many
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#296
Yep, outright lying or just playing stupid, all in an effort to spin, spin, spin. nt
redqueen
Dec 2013
#444
no one labeled him a sex offender. but i certainly see where blame the victim comes in, from the
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#261
Are you playing at ignorance? No one is blaming or shaming. The adults need to learn how to handle
Pisces
Dec 2013
#277
just did not have that issue with my two boys. firstly. secondly, third time. the parent was
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#285
I have read up on the matter more and I do acknowledge that he was reprimanded more than once. What
Pisces
Dec 2013
#378
wow. really, lets just dig out our pitch forks and torches and run her out of town.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#268
What that poster really thinks victims should do is shut up and get victimized again.
LeftyMom
Dec 2013
#306
ahhh. i knew there some anger there. i read from above the info. no, people are not making it
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#313
Why are you posting personal information and filthy insinuations about girl's mother on DU?
idwiyo
Dec 2013
#400
Given the ages of the participants, forget the sexual part. It's just harrassment. Bullying.
Jackpine Radical
Dec 2013
#304
as far as using that term in this thread, it is not about the 6 yr old. it would be the grown men
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#335
It was kissing, and the boy's mother referred to them as boyfriend and girlfriend.
KitSileya
Dec 2013
#344
there was aggression, can we agree. and there was kissing. to suggest it does not tie in is lame.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#346
Rape culture isn't just the action between two people (rape, assault, or violating boundaries).
NuclearDem
Dec 2013
#347
What I would like to know and is missing from everything I have read about this, is
RC
Dec 2013
#386
the students knew she did not want it, hence going to teacher. the teachers knew she did not want
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#389
of course. and i expect no less. hence, she really wanted all the kissing, just wasnt brave enough
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#405
male bashing. so, saying a child should learn boundaries, not get a pass with boys will be boys, is
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#417
so. then for you. it IS male bashing suggesting a boy needs to learn boundaries. wow. nt
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#435
thank you. i better understand why you are seeing male bashing all around. no behavior is to be
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#437
so, a mother that does not draw a line for son, gives him sexual harassment, puts him in front of
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#411
they should nto be thought of as victim because they are girls. that would be absurd. they should
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#416
I figured you would ...... clearly, respecting boundaries of any type are something
polly7
Dec 2013
#484
Are you saying that you will only believe the girl didn't want it if she speaks in front of cameras?
KitSileya
Dec 2013
#441
what is really interesting about the poster are so many "tells" on how he really feels about women.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#451
No, I am saying the opposite. The women and girls do not normally take a lot of shit from others.
RC
Dec 2013
#456
"Why didn't the girl herself put a stop to it, if she didn't like it?" *slaps forehead*
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#398
Reminds me of 'bullying isn't a problem, bullied kids should just stand up to them'.
redqueen
Dec 2013
#404
yes. cause girls are much stronger than that. why does she not have her "fuck you" sea legs yet at 6
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#408
good point, yes. when I was in Chile I saw a lot of kids gone wild- one kicked me in the head
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#413
she did what she could to stop it, are you really blaming the six year old girl here?
bettyellen
Dec 2013
#422
No, I am blaming the adults at the school for not handling this properly in the first place.
RC
Dec 2013
#438
Really? You think the school's first action was to "charge" the bully with sexual harassment?
redqueen
Dec 2013
#443
the kid was not, NOT charges with sexual harassment. that is ONE fact we know for sure. why would
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#448
i would say this post is the height of tells in what is happening in our society today with girls
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#453
One of my friends used to just kick the shit out of boys who bothered her.
leftyladyfrommo
Dec 2013
#486