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Orrex

(67,123 posts)

39. I am sorry for your losses, and thank you for understanding

Mon Dec 23, 2013, 09:40 AM

Dec 2013

In my view, what she did was incredibly controlling - a sort of emotional blackmail. If you really love someone, then let them go. Don't be giving them instructions for what to do after you're gone.

You've articulated my feelings very nicely. Thank you.

"Controlling" is an excellent description. It strike me as a terrible imposition and not at all the "selfless act" that others here have described it to be.

Thankfully, my wife and I discussed this last night, and we're on exactly the same page. Neither of us will be delivering a post mortem time bomb to the other.

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Woman sends her husband a beautiful Christmas gift...2 years after she passed away [View all] Contrary1 Dec 2013 OP

I would not say this brought tears to my eyes etherealtruth Dec 2013 #1

KnR....now going to get more kleenex. yourout Dec 2013 #2

WOW... just WOW! nt Unrepentant Fenian Dec 2013 #3

Damn. . . progressoid Dec 2013 #4

Oh Gee Thanks A Lot.. BodieTown Dec 2013 #8

Not sure if incredibly romantic or incredibly creepy Orrex Dec 2013 #5

I see no creepiness. nt awoke_in_2003 Dec 2013 #6

Incredibly creepy? BodieTown Dec 2013 #9

First I agree: it was incredibly caring RVN VET Dec 2013 #10

I agree. There could be a creepy aspect to it. Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #13

I'm so sorry to hear that BrotherIvan Dec 2013 #20

The first Christmas is the hard one. After that, you still miss them, but it's not so winter is coming Dec 2013 #22

Thanks, I'm trying to look on the bright side BrotherIvan Dec 2013 #23

The first Christmas after my dad's death, we did something totally different, too. winter is coming Dec 2013 #24

Yeah, the airport is going to suuuuuuuuck BrotherIvan Dec 2013 #25

Happy New Year to you, too! Hope you don't spend it in the airport! n/t winter is coming Dec 2013 #26

I am glad to hear it also Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #30

Oh, my... winter is coming Dec 2013 #45

I am so sorry for your loss. xoxo nt Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #32

OMG Mojorabbit, I am so sorry for your loss. n/t ChisolmTrailDem Dec 2013 #21

Thank you so much! nt Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #31

UH? sibelian Dec 2013 #11

It would feel very weird for me to receive a gift from my spouse's dead spouse Orrex Dec 2013 #12

Hm. sibelian Dec 2013 #14

Well, your formulation would be a foolish response, I agree. Orrex Dec 2013 #15

Not sure I'd be up for that last part. sibelian Dec 2013 #18

I would have loved receiving a letter from my mom or dad or any of my friends who have passed on. LiberalArkie Dec 2013 #16

i'm pretty sure they know that this was done when she was alive JI7 Dec 2013 #33

I'm pretty sure she was still dead at the time of the gift Orrex Dec 2013 #34

? do you think people who have lost a spouse totally forget about them when they marry someone else JI7 Dec 2013 #35

No, I don't think that at all. Why do you ask? Orrex Dec 2013 #40

Remembrance with honor and love can often be perceived that way depending on the observer. LanternWaste Dec 2013 #41

A lovely sentiment, but you're simply making an assumption Orrex Dec 2013 #42

It seems you are taking this in a different Jenoch Dec 2013 #47

If the survivors had reacted negatively, would that be their fault? Orrex Dec 2013 #48

It would be interesting Jenoch Dec 2013 #50

Possibly, but there are other factors. Orrex Dec 2013 #51

From what little we know about this story Jenoch Dec 2013 #52

That's still not the point Orrex Dec 2013 #53

We don't know enough about Brenda and Jenoch Dec 2013 #54

Evidently the step mom to be was not upset... Contrary1 Dec 2013 #56

I didn't find it creepy, but also in the minority on this kcr Dec 2013 #29

I don't care for it either. Nine Dec 2013 #37

Just so you don't feel completely alone, I thought it was kind of creepy, too. scarletwoman Dec 2013 #38

I am sorry for your losses, and thank you for understanding Orrex Dec 2013 #39

Well, I'm gonna agree with you and Orrex. Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #43

Thanks for another thoughtful articulation Orrex Dec 2013 #49

beautiful, beautiful gift cvoogt Dec 2013 #7

That is true selfless love Ruby the Liberal Dec 2013 #17

Perfectly said. pacalo Dec 2013 #19

she is a true saint. grantcart Dec 2013 #44

Brenda sounds like she was an incredible Jenoch Dec 2013 #27

what was your father's reaction JI7 Dec 2013 #36

His reaction was surprise and amazement Jenoch Dec 2013 #46

�She deserves it, being a stepmother to all those boys,� xulamaude Dec 2013 #28

Creepy? Not creepy? It does not matter SoCalDem Dec 2013 #55