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SoCalDem

(103,856 posts)

55. Creepy? Not creepy? It does not matter

Mon Dec 23, 2013, 03:40 PM

Dec 2013

This was a "blessing" for the husband/sons as much (more) and a welcoming gesture to the new woman. Whether their relationship ends up being forever, or not, this gesture sends a BIG message to the sons & husband that they never need to wonder "what Mom would have wanted".

When someone dear dies from a painful, lingering ailment, it's often memories of those days/months/years that remain in the forefront, and when a new person comes along, the feelings of guilt can prevent a family from forming new bonds...(out of loyalty & guilt).

I had a friend years ago who had cancer, and she wrote a letter to each of her kids and her husband (this was way before vcrs & video). She also bought gifts & wrapped them ..for the first birthdays & Xmas after her passing. She put them all in a big box & gave them to her sister ... The sad irony is that she and her sister died in a car accident before cancer took her. The sister's husband found the box and passed them on.

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Woman sends her husband a beautiful Christmas gift...2 years after she passed away [View all] Contrary1 Dec 2013 OP

I would not say this brought tears to my eyes etherealtruth Dec 2013 #1

KnR....now going to get more kleenex. yourout Dec 2013 #2

WOW... just WOW! nt Unrepentant Fenian Dec 2013 #3

Damn. . . progressoid Dec 2013 #4

Oh Gee Thanks A Lot.. BodieTown Dec 2013 #8

Not sure if incredibly romantic or incredibly creepy Orrex Dec 2013 #5

I see no creepiness. nt awoke_in_2003 Dec 2013 #6

Incredibly creepy? BodieTown Dec 2013 #9

First I agree: it was incredibly caring RVN VET Dec 2013 #10

I agree. There could be a creepy aspect to it. Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #13

I'm so sorry to hear that BrotherIvan Dec 2013 #20

The first Christmas is the hard one. After that, you still miss them, but it's not so winter is coming Dec 2013 #22

Thanks, I'm trying to look on the bright side BrotherIvan Dec 2013 #23

The first Christmas after my dad's death, we did something totally different, too. winter is coming Dec 2013 #24

Yeah, the airport is going to suuuuuuuuck BrotherIvan Dec 2013 #25

Happy New Year to you, too! Hope you don't spend it in the airport! n/t winter is coming Dec 2013 #26

I am glad to hear it also Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #30

Oh, my... winter is coming Dec 2013 #45

I am so sorry for your loss. xoxo nt Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #32

OMG Mojorabbit, I am so sorry for your loss. n/t ChisolmTrailDem Dec 2013 #21

Thank you so much! nt Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #31

UH? sibelian Dec 2013 #11

It would feel very weird for me to receive a gift from my spouse's dead spouse Orrex Dec 2013 #12

Hm. sibelian Dec 2013 #14

Well, your formulation would be a foolish response, I agree. Orrex Dec 2013 #15

Not sure I'd be up for that last part. sibelian Dec 2013 #18

I would have loved receiving a letter from my mom or dad or any of my friends who have passed on. LiberalArkie Dec 2013 #16

i'm pretty sure they know that this was done when she was alive JI7 Dec 2013 #33

I'm pretty sure she was still dead at the time of the gift Orrex Dec 2013 #34

? do you think people who have lost a spouse totally forget about them when they marry someone else JI7 Dec 2013 #35

No, I don't think that at all. Why do you ask? Orrex Dec 2013 #40

Remembrance with honor and love can often be perceived that way depending on the observer. LanternWaste Dec 2013 #41

A lovely sentiment, but you're simply making an assumption Orrex Dec 2013 #42

It seems you are taking this in a different Jenoch Dec 2013 #47

If the survivors had reacted negatively, would that be their fault? Orrex Dec 2013 #48

It would be interesting Jenoch Dec 2013 #50

Possibly, but there are other factors. Orrex Dec 2013 #51

From what little we know about this story Jenoch Dec 2013 #52

That's still not the point Orrex Dec 2013 #53

We don't know enough about Brenda and Jenoch Dec 2013 #54

Evidently the step mom to be was not upset... Contrary1 Dec 2013 #56

I didn't find it creepy, but also in the minority on this kcr Dec 2013 #29

I don't care for it either. Nine Dec 2013 #37

Just so you don't feel completely alone, I thought it was kind of creepy, too. scarletwoman Dec 2013 #38

I am sorry for your losses, and thank you for understanding Orrex Dec 2013 #39

Well, I'm gonna agree with you and Orrex. Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #43

Thanks for another thoughtful articulation Orrex Dec 2013 #49

beautiful, beautiful gift cvoogt Dec 2013 #7

That is true selfless love Ruby the Liberal Dec 2013 #17

Perfectly said. pacalo Dec 2013 #19

she is a true saint. grantcart Dec 2013 #44

Brenda sounds like she was an incredible Jenoch Dec 2013 #27

what was your father's reaction JI7 Dec 2013 #36

His reaction was surprise and amazement Jenoch Dec 2013 #46

�She deserves it, being a stepmother to all those boys,� xulamaude Dec 2013 #28

Creepy? Not creepy? It does not matter SoCalDem Dec 2013 #55