How did "creeps" and socially awkward men become conflated? [View all]
Men who ogle at or harass women on the street are not shy and introverted. These are different groups of people.
As both a scientist and a former athlete, I've known my share of nerdy men and also frat-boy jock types. And, while there are plenty of confident and athletic guys who are also good people, and there are also some dorky types who are sexist assholes, by and large the sexist jerks are much more plentiful in the locker room than in the computer lab. Why? Probably for the same reason as those experiments where the rich people are more selfish than poor people. Especially at a young age, people who get used to being at the top of the heap become cocky and entitled. And by the way, this doesn't just happen with men -- the "mean girl" phenomenon is real also.
The dating game, especially for younger people, can be rough on both sexes for people that don't fit in. No need to pile on to awkward young men by insinuating that the real reason they don't have more success with the opposite sex is that they are actually sexist assholes. Because that's not the reason. The real reason is simply that women tend to go for confident, handsome, successful men. And, BTW, I'm not saying that women have any obligation to give dorky men the time of day, any more than men have any obligation to give unattractive women as much attention as attractive women.
And finally, everyone try to be more understanding of each other. Women who talk about street harassment aren't doing it as an excuse to man-hate or creep-shame. They are doing it because this is a real problem that affects their lives, and it is a problem that men don't have to deal with. On the other hand, life is no cake-walk for men either, and most of us are good people who don't harass anyone.
= new reply since forum marked as read