How did "creeps" and socially awkward men become conflated?

[DanTex]

54. I'm not sure that's entirely true.

Here's an example, from a highly recced OP:

Now, I need to point out the main problem here… Most men are not as skilled in communication as women. A lot of guys are really bad at it. And most women, especially the ones that like guys, are just sick and tired of dealing with bad communicators, especially when they come off as creepy and potentially threatening. But most of all, most women don't feel as if the intrinsically privileged position of men should be enough to compensate for the lack of male communication skills.

The solution to this problem comes in three mind-bogglingly simple steps:

- Men should talk to women as if they're human beings and not unclaimed sexual objects. Get your talk game straight.

- Next resign yourself to the fact that women, for whatever reason they choose, have the absolute right to reject men who make bad, unwanted, awkward and potentially threatening approaches… And there's nothing that the guy can do about it. Or just because women feel like it, those guys lose, simple as that.

- There's a big diff between looking at a woman who just happens to be out in public, and when some guy is ogling them like they're a plate of steak and fries. Figure out that difference, if you're a gawd-damned adult.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024220427

The insinuation here is that harassment is due to "the lack of male communication skills". That's preposterous and insulting to people who actually have bad communication skills (not to mention the broad-based comment about how "most men" are not as skilled at communication as women -- can you imagine if someone posted that "most women" aren't as skilled at science and math than men?).

Bad communication is not even close to the main problem. Harassment is due to harassment. People who harass women know exactly what they are doing. People with bad communication skills are the Radiohead song. They are not harassers. Totally different. And, yes, there are men who get called creeps for no other reason than they are too skinny and pimply and awkward. That is what the Radiohead song is about.

To suggest to those people that the reason they are being called creeps is that they are sexist and treat women like pieces of meat is insensitive and insulting. And given that many of those people are already hurting from the fact that they don't meet society's standards of "what a man is supposed to be" this is adding insult to injury.

None of this diminishes the fact that women suffer from harrassment and many other things that men don't have to deal with. It doesn't change the fact that a woman should be able to walk down the street without being whistled at, no matter what she is wearing. That's horrible and wrong. And I can see how it is frustrating when people use the Radiohead song to try and pretend that women are just making up the harassment thing just to man-hate.

But I definitely think that both sides have a tendency to dig in rather than try to understand how other people are feeling.