Is it ignorant/ transphobic for a straight man to not want to date transgender women? [View all]

[MrScorpio]

anonymous asked:

Is it ignorant/ transphobic for a straight man to not want to date transgender women?

blackfoxx answered:

Mmm kind of did this topic on twitter this week so you if you want more you can check it out @tgirlinterruptd

But the answer is somewhere between no not necessarily but probably so. In that, a narrative of desire around trans bodies does not exist & in that absence one of degradation and shame is offered in its place. So automatically you have sexualities and accompanying desires shaped in a context of transphobia, which both excludes and pathologizes trans bodies as abhorrent.

A lot of male sexuality is also constructed around employing hierarchies of womanhood as trophies, to prove their own worth and engage in a process of gendering themselves through access to womens’ bodies. Within that framework, some hold more currency and others (transwomen) can actually subvert heteronormative male sexualities. The opinions and shared norms of sexuality among peers, performed on womens’ bodies, plays a huge part in constructing their sexuality as well. You can imagine where transwomen fall on this scale. There’s also the fact that most men dont even have enough literacy of our bodies and our lives to even know who we are and if they are attracted to us. And dont attempt to do so because of cisnormativity.

With that being said, we live in the world we live in. If a man chooses not to date a transwoman, whatever the reason, that is his choice (though one probably informed by cisnormativity.) I am however concerned with if, in not dating transwomen, he also reinforces cissexism and transphobia in his words and actions. Everything is not for everybody nor does it have to be (even though ironically transwomen seem to always get the short end of this stick hmmm.) But what are men doing to not actively continue & participate in this cycle of shame around transwomens’ bodies? What are they doing to stop putting our lives at risk? How are they discussing our bodies and lives? In choosing not to date us, are they offering up bioessentialist rhetoric and trying to delegitimize/undermine our genders?

So basically, cisnormativity heavily informs our desires. We should all work through that. If in working through that, you still don’t find yourself attracted to transwomen? Then thats fine, but what are you doing to create & not participate in a society that shames & degrades the concept of desire around transbodies?

I wont make a blanket statement and say that ANY many who doesnt date transwomen is transphobic. But I will say that we live in a transphobic and cissexist society. And that most men ARE transphobic and cissexist. And all of those things shape our desires and sexuality.

http://curvellas.tumblr.com/post/71492289830/is-it-ignorant-transphobic-for-a-straight-man-to-not