General Discussion

Heddi

(18,312 posts)

46. Presentation aside, a straight man is not going to be interested in a penis

Sun Dec 29, 2013, 03:44 PM

Dec 2013

There's a certain point for most people where compatibility and attraction aside, if the person is not bisexual or interested in exploring different aspects of their sexuality, where someone with incompatible genitalia isn't going to be a plausible mate.

My husband has very fluid sexuality, but he is not bisexual. If he were to meet me, and I were a he transitioning to a she, and I still had he parts, no matter how compatible we were and how attractive I was, he would not be interested in pursuing the relationship while I had a penis because he's not bisexual, and he has no use for a penis other than his own.

That doesn't make him homophobic, or transphobic. It makes him someone who isn't bisexual and who doesn't have an interest in having 1) a non-sexual relationship and 2) a sexual relationship with someone with man parts, no matter how pretty a woman he is or is going to be.

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Is it ignorant/ transphobic for a straight man to not want to date transgender women? [View all] MrScorpio Dec 2013 OP

offs pipoman Dec 2013 #1

This thread has the potential to be very big LittleBlue Dec 2013 #2

You know, I never really had any kind of college education... MrScorpio Dec 2013 #5

believe it or not, Jerry Springer has covered this topic quite well over the past two decades snooper2 Dec 2013 #104

Somehow, I never considered Jerry as an educational authority on the subject. nt MrScorpio Dec 2013 #105

There's still the sensationalistic "Look at the freak!" aspect to it. But increasing visibility nomorenomore08 Dec 2013 #109

Post removed Post removed Dec 2013 #3

This message was self-deleted by its author JNelson6563 Dec 2013 #6

I don't think we necessarily choose who we are attracted to. JNelson6563 Dec 2013 #4

I find the new NY mayor's wife's story to be interesting. Squinch Dec 2013 #8

haha That's love for you! JNelson6563 Dec 2013 #17

By the way, your sig graphic doesn't load for me MrScorpio Dec 2013 #10

Thank you! Glad you like it! JNelson6563 Dec 2013 #11

Sorry. DL is download and PB is Photobucket nt MrScorpio Dec 2013 #12

Thanks MrScorpio! Edit: It worked! JNelson6563 Dec 2013 #14

WTG! nt MrScorpio Dec 2013 #23

Nice post J. :) TeeYiYi Dec 2013 #13

.. quinnox Dec 2013 #7

The articles answer is very good. A bit wordy, even for -my- tastes (which is... Shandris Dec 2013 #9

It's not that simple karynnj Dec 2013 #100

That's stupid. A man can date whoever he feels like dating Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #15

Yes... PCIntern Dec 2013 #18

That situation has never presented itself in my life, MineralMan Dec 2013 #16

I predict 300 replies easy! Grabbing popcorn. Demo_Chris Dec 2013 #19

I'm just hoping for respect and civility MrScorpio Dec 2013 #20

Which of us is more likely to get their 'wish'? nt Demo_Chris Dec 2013 #28

Too late. See post #15. nm rhett o rick Dec 2013 #112

I've got the butter and the beer! Initech Dec 2013 #36

The jury system will be busy too. L0oniX Dec 2013 #42

As someone else posted up thread who you end up attracted to is in some ways out of one's control Arcanetrance Dec 2013 #21

The heart wants what it wants Generic Brad Dec 2013 #22

being that it is just a date, how would one necessarily know that the person they are having a date notadmblnd Dec 2013 #24

Well, I guess, with some folks you can tell and others, not so sure MrScorpio Dec 2013 #25

Offensive. I'm trans and I guarantee you couldn't tell if you bumped into me at the grocery store. MillennialDem Dec 2013 #79

IMHO People can have their preferences about what kind of people they want to date Proud Liberal Dem Dec 2013 #26

We can debate transphobia, but there is a more central question... Eleanors38 Dec 2013 #27

This is it exactly. HappyMe Dec 2013 #32

not much i would think in the dating sense, we could not force someone to find someone hot loli phabay Dec 2013 #33

Orange is the New Black boston bean Dec 2013 #29

Not to derail, but I love that show too! nt xulamaude Dec 2013 #38

I was really impressed with that show. Really liked it. tammywammy Dec 2013 #85

Who knew that Boehner was Black. He could really use that to his advantage. madinmaryland Jan 2014 #117

wow. How poorly written and what bullshit. cali Dec 2013 #30

i would say no more than any other dealbreaker that people have on who they date loli phabay Dec 2013 #31

If the only reason he's not dating the woman is because she's trans cinnabonbon Dec 2013 #34

Hypothetically speaking LittleBlue Dec 2013 #44

I would think that cinnabonbon Dec 2013 #47

Given that many trans women still have male genitalia, kestrel91316 Dec 2013 #35

I don't understand the mentality that says... Shandris Dec 2013 #37

Presentation aside, a straight man is not going to be interested in a penis Heddi Dec 2013 #46

This message was self-deleted by its author cthulu2016 Dec 2013 #103

If she's a Republican, no. nt Shankapotomus Dec 2013 #39

Too funny. MillennialDem Dec 2013 #86

I don't think it is transphobic. Niceguy1 Dec 2013 #40

the IT Crowd addressed some of this in one of their shows ProdigalJunkMail Dec 2013 #41

That might have been my all time favorite episode Matariki Dec 2013 #51

wait a minute...wait a minute... ProdigalJunkMail Dec 2013 #68

Is it homophobic for a man to woolldog Dec 2013 #43

Come on, generally men only care about themselves AZ Progressive Dec 2013 #45

Generally, generalizations are offensive NoOneMan Dec 2013 #53

My objection to the idea of the straight male image is its all fabricated Arcanetrance Dec 2013 #67

Generally men only care about themselves? RedCappedBandit Dec 2013 #107

Men and women should have the right to decide who they want to date, without accusation. ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2013 #48

And even if a "straight" guy was sexually attracted to a transgender woman or a gay male.... AZ Progressive Dec 2013 #56

It really none of anyone's business.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Dec 2013 #60

Oh good grief! HappyMe Dec 2013 #62

The whole idea that there is something likely wrong with a person who is not attracted to what Douglas Carpenter Dec 2013 #49

Right on NoOneMan Dec 2013 #54

Thread win. Drop the mic. Done. n/t X_Digger Dec 2013 #55

Yeah, I agree. HappyMe Dec 2013 #58

It's amazing-- the ease with which some people become the thing they claim to hate. Marr Dec 2013 #64

What about someone Shankapotomus Dec 2013 #66

Perhaps life would be less complicated if similarity of interest and ideals is what sparked sexual Douglas Carpenter Dec 2013 #93

That is quite true treestar Dec 2013 #69

Well said. Incitatus Dec 2013 #89

No AgingAmerican Dec 2013 #50

I hate the word 'cis' Matariki Dec 2013 #52

Me as well, and I essentially dismiss anyone who uses that and similar terms. nt Demo_Chris Dec 2013 #102

I had a friend at work ask me about dating a transgender woman ismnotwasm Dec 2013 #57

This message was self-deleted by its author Matariki Dec 2013 #59

Every large city has a few gay/transgender bars where straight men go to hit on transgender women. Zorra Dec 2013 #61

Even if the answer was 100% yes, so what? The2ndWheel Dec 2013 #63

People don't control what they are sexually attracted to. Kurska Dec 2013 #65

I think the question is if you found yourself sexually attractive and then after found out boston bean Dec 2013 #70

its the same as many other deal breakers, regardless of what they are loli phabay Dec 2013 #71

so, immediately that would make then unattractive to you. Just you knowing... boston bean Dec 2013 #72

yes, as a casual thing it would be a deal breaker same as a myriad of other things that could come u loli phabay Dec 2013 #73

You keep saying it's a deal breaker, but why? boston bean Dec 2013 #74

simply put its not my thing, same as i never dated overweight people or many other groups. loli phabay Dec 2013 #75

I am not implying anything here... so please don't say that I am, ok.. when you read the below.. boston bean Dec 2013 #76

nope i wont read anything into it, simply put its just not my thing loli phabay Dec 2013 #78

Well I'm a gay guy, however. Kurska Dec 2013 #88

for me its looks first, i have certain types that i go for loli phabay Dec 2013 #90

Wouldn't that mean they had misrepresented themself?? That would be a hugh NONO madinmaryland Jan 2014 #118

If someone doesn't date a transgendered person Vattel Dec 2013 #77

what if a person wants to have kids someday Niceguy1 Jan 2014 #116

If they would also cancel a date with a woman who couldn't have kids, Vattel Jan 2014 #119

I'm guess also Mormon-phobic NoOneMan Dec 2013 #80

yup attraction is a wierd thing. loli phabay Dec 2013 #81

I know your title doesn't say so, but the article does. Why does this have to be about men only? MillennialDem Dec 2013 #82

Probably so, but personal attraction and choice BainsBane Dec 2013 #83

I cannot tell whether this is satire... redgreenandblue Dec 2013 #84

Of course not. Vashta Nerada Dec 2013 #87

If you personally don't want to date a trans-person that's your personal choice. icymist Dec 2013 #91

this, and well put loli phabay Dec 2013 #94

Well said! Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #120

That's the first time I heard of the word "transphobic" before. nt Jamaal510 Dec 2013 #92

Who has the right to tell another how to follow their heart? In_The_Wind Dec 2013 #95

Hay ITW I like your statement but I have to disagree in one small but crucial point... Locut0s Dec 2013 #96

My parents were so wrong about many things. In_The_Wind Dec 2013 #97

You are lucky to be as strong willed and spirited as you are... Locut0s Dec 2013 #99

Pencil?? deaniac21 Dec 2013 #114

A lot of women won't date short men. Isn't that discriminatory? mainer Dec 2013 #98

Dating should be an individualized decision. riqster Dec 2013 #101

I highly recommend this thought provoking film ~ "Soldier's Girl". Zorra Dec 2013 #106

Nobody gets to tell you whom you have to find attractive. Jester Messiah Dec 2013 #108

Pre-op or post-op? Sorry to be so crude but that is important. I know some never get the surgery nomorenomore08 Dec 2013 #110

Didn't the Kinks write a hit song about this a long time ago? Like 43 years ago? kwassa Dec 2013 #111

People can date who they want. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #113

Given how ignorant and narrow-minded most people are, I say yes. nt alp227 Dec 2013 #115