General Discussion

Bonobo

(29,257 posts)

267. I did not intend to offend rape victims.

Sun Dec 29, 2013, 09:41 PM

Dec 2013

If I had wished to do so, I would have posted in GD as opposed to the Men's Forums where things are viewed from a perspective of what we FEEL.

You seem to want to delegitimize or prevent me from saying that I found that particular PSA insulting and crudely put. But that IS how I felt and I expected that some other men might want to discuss it.

Not everyone has the same perspective. That is one of the reasons that we have those protected groups. To allow us to speak openly without being attacked for our feelings.

If a man on an elevator gets the vibe that a woman feels he is a potential rapist and exits the elevator looking back over her shoulder, of course her feeling of safety is more important that the feelings of the man. We agree. BUT that does not mean that men can't discuss how that event made them feel hurt. Right? It is not placing one over the other to do so.

The rape PSA is the same thing. I started an OP in a group where men can discuss things about their feelings. I did so and you are trying to shame me for it AND pretend that it means that I blame rape victims.

THAT is what I find so offensive about what you are doing.

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Rape is never the victims fault. [View all] trumad Dec 2013 OP

While I agree... NoOneMan Dec 2013 #1

Every single fucking post ---there you are..... trumad Dec 2013 #7

I imagine we could all strive for some more civility NoOneMan Dec 2013 #13

as was pointed out yesterday, perhaps you should read, and heed, your own remarks. niyad Dec 2013 #160

exactly. every. single. fuckin. post. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #15

Well, to be fair, here you are too. NoOneMan Dec 2013 #25

and... pintobean Dec 2013 #29

Yep... NoOneMan Dec 2013 #36

that would be the difference between passive aggressive and straight. i prefer straight on. seabeyond Dec 2013 #56

I think we should just be kind and civil period NoOneMan Dec 2013 #61

no rude. i do not think straight and blunt is rude. at all. or uncivil. passive aggressive seabeyond Dec 2013 #72

"being straight and blunt is the act of being considerate" xulamaude Dec 2013 #83

i think. i think it is being considerate and respectful. not treating people like a child. seabeyond Dec 2013 #92

Ok! Thanks for the clarification NoOneMan Dec 2013 #89

or you are presuming to presume. and ... seabeyond Dec 2013 #95

what is that from? nt arely staircase Dec 2013 #173

i am sorry. i did not finish the post. thank you for pointing it out. seabeyond Dec 2013 #182

thanks. I will check it out. nt arely staircase Dec 2013 #196

And what's so important about not "offending" people who should be on the same side anyway? nomorenomore08 Dec 2013 #275

THANK YOU. put much more gently than I am inclined to do. niyad Dec 2013 #353

Oh, it's no gift ... unless you're talking about how to fix a washing machine, where to go for polly7 Dec 2013 #97

empathy and love is thru out my posts. i manifest the love, speaking thru the heart. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #100

LOL!!!! nt. polly7 Dec 2013 #101

see the joy i brought to you. i am that good. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #105

Well you've told us so often enough, so I'm sure you must believe it. nt. polly7 Dec 2013 #107

Great post NoOneMan Dec 2013 #103

Thank you. polly7 Dec 2013 #109

ah yes, the latest "tone" argument. funny that it seems to apply only to how women are supposed niyad Dec 2013 #164

It is kind of funny, isn't it? nt xulamaude Dec 2013 #166

Isn't that funny? Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #167

Bullshit!!!! polly7 Dec 2013 #168

I read it, I actually read the whole discussion, and I stand by my statement. I don't need a clue niyad Dec 2013 #171

Oh, I have a lot of experience with it also .... you're not so special in that regard. polly7 Dec 2013 #176

"too much experience with this type of discussion..." You mean the ol' Fly Trap type of discussion? cherokeeprogressive Dec 2013 #178

"Preached to"? xulamaude Dec 2013 #185

I read ... and understand, perfectly fine. polly7 Dec 2013 #190

How can you tell when somebody xulamaude Dec 2013 #200

By the way they speak to you and treat you. polly7 Dec 2013 #202

Well I kind of figured that but was looking for xulamaude Dec 2013 #206

Because it's such a simple concept. polly7 Dec 2013 #209

wow polly. that is a whole lot of nasty. actually those in real life actually value this about me. seabeyond Dec 2013 #192

Never mean? polly7 Dec 2013 #198

see. i simply disagree with you. and you are holding onto this anger so so so tightly. seabeyond Dec 2013 #201

Oh, I always get angry when good, kind people are abused and driven to polly7 Dec 2013 #204

stories told. that is all. go be angry polly. attack, accuse, insult, rant and rave. whatever. seabeyond Dec 2013 #207

You still can't accept what you did. polly7 Dec 2013 #208

"i have my pizza coming." pintobean Dec 2013 #224

Now now ismnotwasm Dec 2013 #210

Oh I'm absolutely fine, but thanks for the faux concern. polly7 Dec 2013 #212

Passive aggressive? Cowardly? pintobean Dec 2013 #140

not funny! hrmjustin Dec 2013 #183

Just go away. YoungDemCA Dec 2013 #330

Why? chervilant Dec 2013 #359

Throwing some fire-retardant on the current DU gender wars at this point is a good thing, I concur. Electric Monk Dec 2013 #2

And just who the fuck said it was? NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #3

You've really never heard the she was wearing the wrong thing in the wrong neighborhood shit? Electric Monk Dec 2013 #5

Yeah, right...I'M the one picking a fight. NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #6

You never heard the she deserved it because of what she was wearing.. trumad Dec 2013 #12

Go back and read my post. NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #16

From my experience, no, not in real life. And no, not on DU either. NoOneMan Dec 2013 #20

Oh---so you think it's all 2nd hand shit? trumad Dec 2013 #26

For me, yes, it is by definition NoOneMan Dec 2013 #34

you love dilbert? does that include his sexist, jackass creator? niyad Dec 2013 #251

Really? trumad Dec 2013 #9

Yes. I'll even repeat it for you. NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #11

This took about 10 seconds to find. trumad Dec 2013 #17

Okay, maybe I should rephrase. Who the fuck HERE said it was? NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #27

Precisely. klook Dec 2013 #228

People post stuff to counter other kinds of RW talking points all the time, redqueen Dec 2013 #232

silly, don't you understand? we are talking about an issue primarily of concern to WOMEN. i mean niyad Dec 2013 #253

but we have endless posts about the supposedly high number of rape accusations, despite the niyad Dec 2013 #259

This thread... Agschmid Dec 2013 #321

I've seen ... variations of it here. AtheistCrusader Dec 2013 #360

We've had extensive discussion about the fact that women need to dress BainsBane Dec 2013 #69

Acquitted...that means "not guilty". Right? NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #78

I do believe that Bains 'resigned' from MIRT a short time ago. nt xulamaude Dec 2013 #87

I like your use of quotes. pintobean Dec 2013 #249

Not sure what you mean... cyberswede Dec 2013 #333

That is true BainsBane Dec 2013 #332

MIRT has no jurisdiction over members with over 100 posts BainsBane Dec 2013 #88

So why did you want those links to report me? NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #91

No jurisdiction? You only recently learned this apparently? n/t lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #195

I understand your absentee stint on MIRT left you limited awareness of what transpired there BainsBane Dec 2013 #242

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #314

wow. seabeyond Dec 2013 #318

and your first post on du was victim blaming. seabeyond Dec 2013 #320

That's quite a blanket statement cyberswede Dec 2013 #322

yah think? So do I. uppityperson Dec 2013 #327

. Agschmid Dec 2013 #329

LOL BainsBane Dec 2013 #331

I went back multiple pages in MIRT and did a search on your username... using Ctrl+F... Agschmid Dec 2013 #325

i do recall a lot of talk about how women dress boston bean Dec 2013 #121

Very true, that was quite recent BainsBane Dec 2013 #144

you do not seriously expect ANYONE on this board to believe that you have never heard a victim niyad Dec 2013 #177

Frankly, niyad... NaturalHigh Jan 2014 #416

of course not. that was why you had to change your story from "never heard of it" to "nobody niyad Jan 2014 #421

Where did I say "never heard of it"? NaturalHigh Jan 2014 #423

Is this a true or false question? Shankapotomus Dec 2013 #4

Well good for you... trumad Dec 2013 #10

Never. Never, ever, ever. WillowTree Dec 2013 #8

Amen. calimary Dec 2013 #219

I'm lost. Vashta Nerada Dec 2013 #14

No. Just more flamebait. NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #18

Really.... trumad Dec 2013 #28

Who has posted it on DU? NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #32

Again---what the fuck are you talking about? trumad Dec 2013 #37

Okay, then... NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #41

Yeah---thought so. trumad Dec 2013 #46

You really know how to throw the zingers. NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #51

Why can't the poster just mean what it means? trumad Dec 2013 #21

Because 100% of us on this website (should) agree with that. Vashta Nerada Dec 2013 #24

People post stuff to counter other kinds of RW talking points all the time, redqueen Dec 2013 #237

Yep. Luminous Animal Dec 2013 #257

Why can't a post about a woman who stabs someone with a ceramic object just be that? The Straight Story Dec 2013 #197

Not for her clothes, but a jury on DU let stand that a woman who drinks cannot be raped. KitSileya Dec 2013 #335

agree 1,000,000,000 % nt steve2470 Dec 2013 #19

How dare you try to make me apologize for being a man! Iggo Dec 2013 #22

Link to two posts where a DUer said that it was the victims fault. n-t Logical Dec 2013 #23

I'd settle for one. Bonobo Dec 2013 #30

That's right. trumad Dec 2013 #35

So 2 links is too many intaglio Dec 2013 #42

2 links to what? trumad Dec 2013 #44

I know, but the usual suspects will insist you did intaglio Dec 2013 #52

It's their new strategy..... trumad Dec 2013 #58

Post removed Post removed Dec 2013 #98

I don't have a link handy, but I have seen posts here on DU about pedophiles in jail getting Electric Monk Dec 2013 #49

Yes, that would be the only example. Nt Bonobo Dec 2013 #53

We could point to your thread BainsBane Dec 2013 #148

Disingenuous and shameful post. Nt Bonobo Dec 2013 #161

Surprised? pintobean Dec 2013 #181

I certainly thought so BainsBane Dec 2013 #229

Let's get right to the issue. Bonobo Dec 2013 #240

You claimed it was insulting because it mentioned the word men BainsBane Dec 2013 #258

That is a mischaracterization of what I said. Bonobo Dec 2013 #262

People can read the text themselves and come to their own conclusions BainsBane Dec 2013 #264

I did not intend to offend rape victims. Bonobo Dec 2013 #267

Why do you think how you "felt" so important? BainsBane Dec 2013 #285

My god that's hypocritical Bonobo Dec 2013 #289

No, that isn't true BainsBane Dec 2013 #343

I think it's funny that 'broom' is one of the top words in HOF. Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #351

Wasn't there a RW personality (rhymes with Shrek) that used this silly tactic Android3.14 Dec 2013 #280

If I were to post about an anti-gay bashing PSA BainsBane Dec 2013 #266

I see your point. Bonobo Dec 2013 #268

I don't think there is only my issue BainsBane Dec 2013 #287

I really don't care what you think. Bonobo Dec 2013 #295

+1000. Yes ........... polly7 Dec 2013 #305

You don't need to care BainsBane Dec 2013 #345

see post 189 niyad Dec 2013 #193

What the fuck does that mean? trumad Dec 2013 #33

Who is getting crazy up in here? NoOneMan Dec 2013 #40

Do you always have to cuss in your responses? Wow, you are a piece of work. n-t Logical Dec 2013 #68

Yeah I gotta fucking cuss... trumad Dec 2013 #79

LOL, stay classy trumad! Are you 8? n-t Logical Dec 2013 #90

Are you 88? trumad Dec 2013 #93

Pick any thread about rape BainsBane Dec 2013 #147

Here is one BainsBane Dec 2013 #156

... and ... Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2013 #342

Funny how that happens BainsBane Dec 2013 #344

and on and on we go. round and round we go. yes. Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2013 #346

please show me the rule in DU where a graphic has to be about something posted on DU--we niyad Dec 2013 #189

People post stuff to counter other kinds of RW talking points all the time, redqueen Dec 2013 #245

NSS! nt. polly7 Dec 2013 #31

What does "NSS" mean? nt xulamaude Dec 2013 #48

Just guessing... NaturalHigh Dec 2013 #54

Oh, right. Okay that makes sense. Thank you. nt xulamaude Dec 2013 #59

Amen trumad hrmjustin Dec 2013 #38

Well, duh! Prophet 451 Dec 2013 #39

Well duh. trumad Dec 2013 #43

Oh, I'm sure Prophet 451 Dec 2013 #45

Not difficult at all. trumad Dec 2013 #47

TMHR (sad on a liberal board) demmiblue Dec 2013 #50

What does TMHR mean? NoOneMan Dec 2013 #64

Suckle, suckle. n/t demmiblue Dec 2013 #75

Tandem Mirror Hybrid Reactor? NoOneMan Dec 2013 #81

So I'm on Facebook.. trumad Dec 2013 #67

Yep, yep. demmiblue Dec 2013 #82

Attacked? I just see people discussing it. Everyone agrees of course NoOneMan Dec 2013 #86

First you start with the show me the links.... trumad Dec 2013 #102

No... NoOneMan Dec 2013 #110

I wonder if these two are married and are in different rooms same house arguing on DU? mitty14u2 Dec 2013 #55

That would be hilarious indeed, if it turned out that trumad and seabeyond were a couple. nt Electric Monk Dec 2013 #62

stupid post Egnever Dec 2013 #57

Stupid message? trumad Dec 2013 #60

if they posted it there then yup Egnever Dec 2013 #63

Wow! trumad Dec 2013 #70

right, because rape victims are NEVER blamed (see texas teen and the latest gang rape in india) niyad Dec 2013 #215

And that 11-year old who was gang raped, KitSileya Dec 2013 #336

I certainly remember that one. the two I cited were from last week alone. niyad Dec 2013 #352

It horrifies me, especially since so many of the victims are underage KitSileya Dec 2013 #354

one would think everything you said is pretty obvious, but, judging by far too many of the posts niyad Dec 2013 #355

Were that were true. But this is America. The victim is at fault and the perp is the victim. WowSeriously Dec 2013 #65

You little battles within another group is getting really fucking tedious. madinmaryland Dec 2013 #66

What is it with you guys... trumad Dec 2013 #73

What guys? The way you are posting is really weird. Are you still running around madinmaryland Dec 2013 #131

Why are all the images of females? oberliner Dec 2013 #71

Good point oberliner. nt. polly7 Dec 2013 #74

Ugg.... trumad Dec 2013 #76

What a strange reaction to a perfectly rational question. polly7 Dec 2013 #80

What do you mean? oberliner Dec 2013 #94

Are male rape victims often accused xulamaude Dec 2013 #99

LOL--- trumad Dec 2013 #108

They're not? nt. polly7 Dec 2013 #111

Sure they are... trumad Dec 2013 #115

Then why the disdain for the questions? polly7 Dec 2013 #116

Ahhh disdain... trumad Dec 2013 #122

I have a problem with YOU laughing it off. polly7 Dec 2013 #126

Now you see... trumad Dec 2013 #129

Nah, I don't have to make anything up here. polly7 Dec 2013 #133

That's not laughing it off.... trumad Dec 2013 #137

nit picking shit... one_voice Dec 2013 #180

Oh knock it the fuck off...... trumad Dec 2013 #238

By you guys... one_voice Dec 2013 #246

Because it is another "look at me" thread. nt madinmaryland Dec 2013 #136

I think so too. polly7 Dec 2013 #145

He pretty much says what his intent was in post #106. n/t cherokeeprogressive Dec 2013 #158

"Weird shit" pointing out that males are raped? oberliner Dec 2013 #123

There are people that say male victims ask for it davidn3600 Dec 2013 #112

Based upon what they were wearing? xulamaude Dec 2013 #124

Yes, and based on DU, at least, those are mostly men. KitSileya Dec 2013 #340

Is this post just about clothes? oberliner Dec 2013 #118

Looks to me like the state of dress/undress xulamaude Dec 2013 #130

In one image, the female appears not to be wearing any clothes oberliner Dec 2013 #135

Are men often accused of 'asking for it' xulamaude Dec 2013 #139

Yes, for sure oberliner Dec 2013 #142

Are you speaking of date rape xulamaude Dec 2013 #143

Yes, exactly oberliner Dec 2013 #149

Okay. In that case I'll suggest xulamaude Dec 2013 #154

But the graphic was posted here at DU oberliner Dec 2013 #155

Wow simply wow, reading this thread helped me to understand your reasons for leaving on Break, they AuntPatsy Dec 2013 #369

Good point NoOneMan Dec 2013 #77

Because males dont matter davidn3600 Dec 2013 #85

"People" cheer? "People" sweep it under the rug? xulamaude Dec 2013 #163

Are you blind? davidn3600 Dec 2013 #169

Only slightly. I do need new glasses but, xulamaude Dec 2013 #172

Maybe you should call out the non-jokes as well? LadyHawkAZ Dec 2013 #211

Wow... one_voice Dec 2013 #218

Hi. xulamaude Dec 2013 #225

Oh, it's not against a rule... LadyHawkAZ Dec 2013 #234

Having checked the context of the two-week-old link xulamaude Dec 2013 #230

You click the permalink button, and c/p from the browser window LadyHawkAZ Dec 2013 #250

Thank you for the 'call out' linking procedure... xulamaude Dec 2013 #252

Glad I could help. n/t LadyHawkAZ Dec 2013 #254

And absolutely none of that is acceptable. Period. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #261

And those people are all idiots, I think we all agree. Dash87 Dec 2013 #293

Several reasons Lordquinton Dec 2013 #125

"You have to bring it up every time the topic comes up?" oberliner Dec 2013 #132

Excuse the hyperbolic statement Lordquinton Dec 2013 #146

I understand that argument oberliner Dec 2013 #152

Because for some reason.... trumad Dec 2013 #134

What does this mean? oberliner Dec 2013 #138

You should edit the OP Lordquinton Dec 2013 #184

Not true Hosnon Dec 2013 #199

Ok, in most circumstances Lordquinton Dec 2013 #213

That strikes my as insulting. Hosnon Dec 2013 #216

Then start a campaign for Gay men Lordquinton Dec 2013 #227

Wow... one_voice Dec 2013 #235

Why do some people have to insert men into every discussion about women? Lordquinton Dec 2013 #337

Well since I'm able walk and chew.. one_voice Dec 2013 #376

Gay men make up a small percentage of all men. Hosnon Jan 2014 #413

I serve on my local pride board. Hosnon Jan 2014 #412

Rape is not a "women's" issue. May I remind you about our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. idwiyo Jan 2014 #420

I didn't bring men up. But you said this: Hosnon Jan 2014 #411

Good points... one_voice Dec 2013 #223

When are men blamed for their rapes because of clothes they wore? Your post doesn't make any sense. Dash87 Dec 2013 #283

Is the graphic just about clothes? oberliner Dec 2013 #290

The whole point, imo, is the cliche that "she shouldn't have been wearing that." Dash87 Dec 2013 #292

None of them are children either. KitSileya Dec 2013 #338

Damn Skippy nt MrScorpio Dec 2013 #84

wow the vitriol over a post EVERYONE agrees with! boston bean Dec 2013 #96

You missed the poster who wondered xulamaude Dec 2013 #104

Not understanding why that bothered you oberliner Dec 2013 #272

Yes others have. I posted what you are responding to xulamaude Dec 2013 #273

Sorry about that oberliner Dec 2013 #281

Fly trap my friend.. trumad Dec 2013 #106

And there it is... cherokeeprogressive Dec 2013 #141

Yep LadyHawkAZ Dec 2013 #175

Gonna be quiet around here for a while... n/t cherokeeprogressive Dec 2013 #188

One hopes... n/t LadyHawkAZ Dec 2013 #191

Can't wait. Rex Dec 2013 #341

You're doing it wrong pintobean Dec 2013 #179

Agreed. treestar Dec 2013 #113

I think you should post this every hour on the hour for like... the next six weeks. cherokeeprogressive Dec 2013 #114

True there can be male victims treestar Dec 2013 #117

So, not because of incapacitation due to drugs or alcohol they willingly ingested? n/t cherokeeprogressive Dec 2013 #150

That could be treestar Dec 2013 #157

Everyone seems to be forgetting gay men. Hosnon Jan 2014 #414

Curious? trumad Dec 2013 #119

"we've all seen the countless posts here claiming that female victims of rape were somehow at fault" NoOneMan Dec 2013 #120

Of course he was..... trumad Dec 2013 #127

I think if you check the OP's transparency page, you'll see that Jan 6th might staunch the flow. nt msanthrope Dec 2013 #231

Yeah but only for two weeks. cherokeeprogressive Dec 2013 #247

Oh no--there's a GBCW thread in HOF. Perhaps there ought to be a memorial thread in msanthrope Dec 2013 #356

That's oddly disturbing. cherokeeprogressive Dec 2013 #363

Its a powerful message! etherealtruth Dec 2013 #128

A very brief search turned up a couple of victim blaming posts intaglio Dec 2013 #151

How the fuck is any of that blaming the victim? davidn3600 Dec 2013 #159

The last one really was treestar Dec 2013 #162

"There is always going to be crime in this world." xulamaude Dec 2013 #170

So penis = guilty automatically? I'm starting to understand where you're coming from. Electric Monk Dec 2013 #186

What are you talking about? xulamaude Dec 2013 #194

It's a minority of men (a relatively small minority) who do these things. nomorenomore08 Dec 2013 #294

If you cannot see the difference between that and blaming the victim, you have lost all perspective. Bonobo Dec 2013 #217

k and r--it is an obscenity that there even has to be a discussion about this, but I keep forgetting niyad Dec 2013 #153

I love these "rock and dog" threads. I visit DU infrequently these days, but I'm starting to notice retread Dec 2013 #165

and long time lurkers, who finally got around to registering to wiegh in too. Really. nt Electric Monk Dec 2013 #174

rec DonCoquixote Dec 2013 #187

Yup, that is why it is called rape and not reverse you made me fuck you or some shit. TheKentuckian Dec 2013 #203

Everybody knows that libodem Dec 2013 #205

Anyone who says that rape is the victims fault is a fucking asshole who should go fuck themselves. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #214

(((hugs Justin))) boston bean Dec 2013 #220

I do not know either but I am not surprised. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #222

I agree 100% with that. nt Bonobo Dec 2013 #243

Post removed Post removed Dec 2013 #221

In other news, Water is wet. n/t Gore1FL Dec 2013 #226

Well---there are a lot of assholes out there that don't know water is wet..... trumad Dec 2013 #233

and I just saw that two people voted to leave that hidden thread alone. sickening, but not niyad Dec 2013 #263

My dog, the response to something so very basic is quite sickening.n/t demmiblue Dec 2013 #236

But you see...teh mens have it just as bad... trumad Dec 2013 #239

LOL, dude, no one said anything of the kind. Bonobo Dec 2013 #241

And "dropping the soap" in prison is not a reason, or justification, for rape. Nye Bevan Dec 2013 #244

Oh I made mistakes in all the years I've been here... trumad Dec 2013 #248

"I evolved into a person that stopped saying that kind of shit" xulamaude Dec 2013 #255

Wait. I thought it was a fly trap. Were you educating us or posting a fly trap for your amusement? cherokeeprogressive Dec 2013 #256

What about post #106? pintobean Dec 2013 #260

You like to post about what "real men" are as compared to "little boys" Bonobo Dec 2013 #265

And what of "White Knights" xulamaude Dec 2013 #279

Because certain people's tender feelings are always, ALWAYS more important than real issues! nomorenomore08 Dec 2013 #298

nobody is "fighting" you, it's just another rape thread on DU.. snooper2 Dec 2013 #362

hey trumad, take a look at this thread... boston bean Dec 2013 #269

Rape by definition is indefensible. Deep13 Dec 2013 #270

We should charge people a dollar for stating the obvious Android3.14 Dec 2013 #271

bonobo linked saying teach the rapist. this message to teach the rapist. men bothered about seabeyond Dec 2013 #274

See post #106 pintobean Dec 2013 #276

i am not going to hunt down 106. you assume. and so what.... this is not about you, seabeyond Dec 2013 #291

Don't bother to be informed, just keep on educating. pintobean Dec 2013 #348

Motive? I thought it was all about "tone". PassingFair Dec 2013 #302

I guess we need to think of the tone deaf. pintobean Dec 2013 #349

ok, I have to ask... one_voice Dec 2013 #278

first... i like that video. i think it is about par with the Op in this thread. seabeyond Dec 2013 #286

I'm still confused... one_voice Dec 2013 #296

after both your post and bonobos, i think sometimes we have sucha preconceived idea of another, we seabeyond Dec 2013 #300

Yes. I misunderstood the... one_voice Dec 2013 #303

I am so tired of it and I think you must understand that. Bonobo Dec 2013 #308

agreed seabeyond Dec 2013 #311

I will try to be less sensitive to tone. Bonobo Dec 2013 #313

ya? well, i already beat you to that and decided like way earlier i was gonna do the same. seabeyond Dec 2013 #315

There you go again! Bonobo Dec 2013 #319

good deal. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #324

I have told you at least twice I did not call you a rape apologist BainsBane Dec 2013 #347

OK, I understand. Bonobo Dec 2013 #350

Do you honestly believe I disagree with anything Bonobo Dec 2013 #282

nowhere did i suggest that you did. that is not what i was saying. that is not my point. the point seabeyond Dec 2013 #288

I'd take it a step further and say the victim of any and every crime is never at fault. egduj Dec 2013 #277

I got banned from the mens group. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #284

For harassing a poster there. Bonobo Dec 2013 #297

I am sure he felt oppressed hearing the truth. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #299

In any case, you are responsible for your own behavior. Bonobo Dec 2013 #301

I will be happy to put my behavior on this site to every single member. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #304

That group is not there for you to bring your personal attacks. Bonobo Dec 2013 #306

As a host I respect it is your decision, however you are wrong. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #307

"Oh poor men group" Bonobo Dec 2013 #310

Good skinner should see it all and after I write this i will also send out talks to him. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #312

I could be wrong. Bonobo Dec 2013 #316

I always am respectful and that is why I brought it to skinner. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #323

I deleted our discussion so I can not send it to him. you said you sent it so t hat is good enough hrmjustin Dec 2013 #317

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #309

Most rapes happen to be with people that are close to the victim Harmony Blue Dec 2013 #326

And the victim is not always a grown woman itsrobert Dec 2013 #328

yes. often not. good point. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #334

It really is that simple of an equation. Rex Dec 2013 #339

Tru - Now I understand your decission to leave. Your thread got hijacked. Its a shame you needed.... marble falls Dec 2013 #357

No shit! blackspade Dec 2013 #358

You can't mug people because of the jewelry they are wearing fbc Dec 2013 #361

I like this rejoinder! +1 PassingFair Dec 2013 #365

Wow. 363 replies for such an obvious and non-controversial post Matariki Dec 2013 #364

Nah. It's controversial because xulamaude Dec 2013 #366

I understand Matariki Dec 2013 #367

Tough day on du when you get run over for posting a Think Progress image. nt. NCTraveler Dec 2013 #368

Given the history of the OP pintobean Dec 2013 #370

Yes, it;s kind of confusing for some of us who've dealt with this horror in real life. polly7 Dec 2013 #371

And now a gbcw thread pintobean Dec 2013 #372

I think it's just a shame that Trumad posted kiva Dec 2013 #373

+1... one_voice Dec 2013 #382

Oh I found out a long time ago here that some women don't matter a bit. polly7 Dec 2013 #384

i spoke out for you. and the others. a lot of other women were in pain too, seabeyond Dec 2013 #386

Bullshit you did!!!!! polly7 Dec 2013 #387

of course i did. faulty memory on your part. seabeyond Dec 2013 #389

No, it's yet 'another' lie on your part!!!!! polly7 Dec 2013 #390

one would hardly see insults in the posts i made to you in this subthread polly. seabeyond Dec 2013 #391

No shit, it's not a subject to take lightly or be offensive about! polly7 Dec 2013 #392

i do not know or care who created the thread. i know you were told you were seabeyond Dec 2013 #395

Apparently you haven't a damned clue what I'm talking about, polly7 Dec 2013 #397

I do understand. NCTraveler Dec 2013 #403

I guess I just saw it differently. pintobean Dec 2013 #405

Interesting comment from several years back... madinmaryland Dec 2013 #374

as you know he was being kicked off for a period of time in a couple of days. boston bean Dec 2013 #375

And doing in a safe haven group. pintobean Dec 2013 #377

you do a lot of shaking your head.. LOL boston bean Dec 2013 #378

Yeah, a lot of people here do. pintobean Dec 2013 #379

This whole thing reminds me of this... madinmaryland Dec 2013 #380

OMG that's funny pintobean Dec 2013 #383

you just keep sinking lower and lower seabeyond Dec 2013 #388

You can't talk!!!!!! nt. polly7 Dec 2013 #394

If I'm still sinking in your opinion pintobean Dec 2013 #396

Lol!! Katashi_itto Dec 2013 #402

I will miss your posts Trumad. I hope you come back soon. hrmjustin Dec 2013 #381

How the fuck does *this* start a 380+ post flamewar? MadrasT Dec 2013 #385

I agree, this should have been a string of "+1" type posts nt steve2470 Dec 2013 #393

K&R nt Zorra Dec 2013 #398

Kick. Iggo Dec 2013 #399

I love threads like this Blue_Adept Dec 2013 #400

Of course it's never the victim's fault. HappyMe Dec 2013 #401

k&r It would be even better if it also included male victims of rape. idwiyo Dec 2013 #404

In the context of being blamed for being raped because of the way you dress, KitSileya Dec 2013 #407

Think about gay male rape. idwiyo Dec 2013 #408

That's definitely a good point. KitSileya Dec 2013 #409

I am female too and it took me awhile to realise that idwiyo Dec 2013 #410

THANK you. Hosnon Jan 2014 #415

Hugs. idwiyo Jan 2014 #417

:) Hosnon Jan 2014 #418

Hugs :) idwiyo Jan 2014 #419

I'm laughing at all the flies buzzing in outrage at post 106 kcr Dec 2013 #406

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2014 #422

You do realize that this wasn't aimed towards victims, right? KitSileya Jan 2014 #424

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2014 #425

Depressing that this even had to be said, Lunacee_2013 Jan 2014 #426