Why is DU in a gender war anyway?

[RainDog]

179. I don't think this actually explains all of it.

Last edited Wed Jan 1, 2014, 09:22 PM - Edit history (1)

The assumption that women agree with men in situations where people have conflict is one way this whole situation gets skewed.

My problem has been with these assumptions and the attacked-based "arguments" - which aren't really arguments at all, they're attacks, when someone disagrees on one issue or another.

To be told that your principle-based stance on certain 1st amendment issues is a desire to wear "fuck me shoes" isn't a way to discuss an issue. To be told such a principle is selfish is another problem. Such arguments are not arguments, they're personal attacks.

To say "religions are based upon superstition" is a claim that can be debated. When the response is "you're a bigot" - there's nothing more to say to someone who attacks the writer rather than the claim, especially when the claim is distorted to single out one religion, when that was not the context of the initial remark.

To say someone enables pedophiles by doubting a source is a personal attack. Who wants to have anything to do with that sort of interaction?

To claim that anyone who disagrees with you is a "clown / frat boy / pig / cheerleader" is not discussing issues, it's attacking others who disagree.

To state, honestly, that you are not part of a group, etc. is ignored for some conspiracy. Maybe there are people who are fighting one another in ways that are claimed, but that's not the case for every such claim made - which makes those who are believed to be part of the same doubtful about the claim at all.

If there are men here who are trolling by making stupid remarks - well, I don't reply to every stupid remark I read here and, after a while, I put someone on ignore if that's what I see from them over and over. The best way to keep something like that from derailing a post is to say, "yes, there are some situations when x is y." then go on with the issue in question.

The reason people have held grudges is because those who have attacked them do the same thing over and over again.

Even as I type this, I hesitate to even say anything about this issue, but not all of us see it the same way, and there are reasons for this.

edit to add: when some women claim that other women cannot have an opinion that differs of their own accord, that's sexism, and that's a frequent attack from certain people here. It should come as no surprise that those sorts of attacks are mentioned when, again, they don't address the substance of an issue, but merely constitute personal attacks of the lowest sort. It's intellectually dishonest, but such claims get a lot of "amens" in a certain corner of DU.