"4 Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever"

[Blue_Tires]

11. As a longtime veteran of the online dating thing

Last edited Sat Jan 4, 2014, 11:00 PM - Edit history (1)

the rule of thumb male-female ratio for real, active users is 5:1...I've found this true of mainstream well-known dating sites, niche demographic sites, free sites, sex sites, etc. etc...

And I speak personally from experience -- If you're a miserably lonely guy and you've taken the time to register an account, buy a 3-6-12 month subscription, put together your best ad (and had it vetted/reviewed by female friends for good measure), dig up your best photos, and THEN finally write personalized, non-template messages to a couple hundred "matches" with ZERO responses whatsoever, it's devastating to the psyche, and very hard to swallow...

Because it's humiliating enough to admit to yourself that this is your best, last resort to finding love/marriage/female companionship, etc. when most of your friends are the type who can go into ANY social setting and pull pretty much any unmarried woman they set their eyes on...You do NOT want to make a further admission that online dating has been a failure after all the time, energy and money invested, because the options on next-lowest rung of the ladder are literally prostitutes, mail-order brides and full-time porn addiction...

So what happens when you don't get any responses from your matches? You widen your scope: First geographically -- "So what if she's in Vancouver and I'm in Virginia? There still might be some way to make it happen..." and then you start compromising the details of your intended match -- "So what if she's 15 years older/younger, dips snuff, thinks Sarah Palin is the savior of this nation and her profile pic shows her firing an M240B at a gun range while wearing a confederate flag-bikini? Aren't opposites supposed to attract or something?"

And when that still doesn't work, you finally hit rock bottom feeling completely pissed off and cheated that this website took your money (remember there's still five-and-a-half months left in the subscription and you've already contacted 500 ads by now), in exchange for a bunch of phony promises and fake/spam/long dormant ads...So finally sheer frustration and loneliness get the better of you, and you start contacting everybody, and I mean *everybody* -- Women on the other side of the world, women aged 18-88, women who are pre-op transgender, obvious spam or troll ads and so on (by now you've long given up on ever dating; you'd be satisfied just to have someone real to converse with in a few e-mails)...This is the mindset of most of those hundreds of poor souls that contacted the writer in the OP...I've been there, I've lived it...

The true tragicomedy is how this point mostly flies over the writer's oblivious head...