General Discussion

DirkGently

(12,151 posts)

132. That's not okay.

Tue Jan 7, 2014, 08:50 PM

Jan 2014

(apologies to Gawker' Caity Weaver of the Thatz Not Okay column for copping her blurb)

It' an egregious example of what is still so very wrong with our culture that women (or feminine screen names) can expect sexual harassment or threats posting online.

The fact that anyone would suggest it be ignored or shrugged off is completely unhelpful.

That this would occur in the anonymous petri dish of the Internet shows more what attitudes are REALLY like than "real life" interactions might. As an insightful DUer remarked to me recently -- "Anonymous internet interactions are an UNMASKING, not a masking, of real attitudes and impulses."

In other words, people go online to behave the way they'd *really like to*. And the way a lot of people would like to behave is apparently to abuse women.

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Highlight:

Why Women Aren�t Welcome on the Internet [View all] justiceischeap Jan 2014 OP

Gender wars: trashing Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #1

So any issue gaspee Jan 2014 #2

Posters who have to publicly announce that they're sufrommich Jan 2014 #11

... TBF Jan 2014 #168

That is exactly right kcr Jan 2014 #13

Note that the "some go too far" language isn't used often to describe members of other groups. Gormy Cuss Jan 2014 #28

I've noticed it, too. kcr Jan 2014 #36

To be clear, I'm not talking about one specific DU group. Gormy Cuss Jan 2014 #55

I know that's what you meant, I was agreeing. kcr Jan 2014 #56

Why do you need to announce this gollygee Jan 2014 #4

exactly. Whisp Jan 2014 #8

C'mon, you know exactly why. n/t Egalitarian Thug Jan 2014 #15

They're bullying. Blue_Adept Jan 2014 #17

That's just silly. Unless anything you don't like is bullying. Comrade Grumpy Jan 2014 #48

Ok. It's passive-aggressive bullshit. Blue_Adept Jan 2014 #65

except they didn't walk away. they posted like 20 more times geek tragedy Jan 2014 #96

I don't think "trashing" means what he think it means.... Squinch Jan 2014 #98

that, or he meant he was trashing the thread in the manner that geek tragedy Jan 2014 #102

I'm pretty sure that's it. Squinch Jan 2014 #104

Why not? Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #22

I imagine there are many people who petulantly inform any and all of those things they dispose of... LanternWaste Jan 2014 #25

Yes there are, and when gender wars and woo threads become spam I would say they have the right to Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #29

+1 Million. Thank you. closeupready Jan 2014 #63

:) Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #119

This isn't a 'gender wars' post--it's a discussion of harassment and threats of physical geek tragedy Jan 2014 #64

Not to disagree with you but the OP posted in the first sentence they were adding to the gender wars Drew Richards Jan 2014 #144

I read it as an allusion to the fighting that has gone on here. geek tragedy Jan 2014 #145

I see thank you. Drew Richards Jan 2014 #148

it's well worth reading. cheers! nt geek tragedy Jan 2014 #149

I don't know what's more amusing,dramatically sufrommich Jan 2014 #35

LOL cyberswede Jan 2014 #83

If you are trashing it I'm recommending it el_bryanto Jan 2014 #6

ditto. if it pisses off the anti-feminist crowd, it's doing something right nt geek tragedy Jan 2014 #10

Haha you would label people anti-fem Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #23

so says one of the primary belligerents in those wars, who supposedly trashed geek tragedy Jan 2014 #27

Like you have credibility to pass judgement. You are simply playing to your usual audience Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #31

yes, I play to the folks here to think misogyny, sexism, along with the geek tragedy Jan 2014 #38

You play to your select posse, anyone else is just gravy Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #40

Says the poster who stated he was trashing the thread and then posted 4 more times. seaglass Jan 2014 #46

LOL!! In response to your posse,so now responding is wrong too now. Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #61

I guess you changed your mind about trashing - that yellow tab lighting up is awfully enticing. seaglass Jan 2014 #67

Not at all, it stays trashed. I understand your fishing Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #69

Fishing? No, I found it funny that you were challenging someone else's credibility. Your ideas are seaglass Jan 2014 #75

I dont count you as anything. Thanks for lumping me in with Bonobo I will take that as a Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #78

Two peas in a pod. n/t seaglass Jan 2014 #79

At least its not a cult. Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #81

. seaglass Jan 2014 #91

That's really quite classless of you Bonobo Jan 2014 #126

That wasn't an attack, it was a reference to comments you made to me. seaglass Jan 2014 #127

Well frankly both of those were Bonobo Jan 2014 #130

Bonobo there is no way in hell you are getting an apology from me. In Prism's thread about his seaglass Jan 2014 #134

Look, it's quite simple. Bonobo Jan 2014 #140

Now this is just getting silly. You know you called me out in the Men's Group when I was not seaglass Jan 2014 #159

You called me out in this OP that I had nothing to do with. Bonobo Jan 2014 #161

Is this some kind of performance art? Either that or you are just yanking my chain. seaglass Jan 2014 #162

Cool, me too. Bonobo Jan 2014 #163

For the collection Bobbie Jo Jan 2014 #167

On the contrary - I had no idea until now of your appalling record of anti-woman posts muriel_volestrangler Jan 2014 #117

Spin how you like Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #118

cheers! geek tragedy Jan 2014 #142

Fully agree etherealtruth Jan 2014 #20

gee, such a champion of women's rights showing a lack of interest geek tragedy Jan 2014 #7

From you thats a compliment :) Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #32

"gender wars . . . trash thread" geek tragedy Jan 2014 #34

Hahah, where did I say that? "gender wars . . . trash thread" You brought up misogyny and sexism. Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #37

7 posts and counting. Exact quote="gender wars: trashing" geek tragedy Jan 2014 #42

I posted. I was done, and you wanted an audience Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #43

irony meter: broken cyberswede Jan 2014 #86

see #43 Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #88

What? I replied to #43 cyberswede Jan 2014 #92

Wow etherealtruth Jan 2014 #18

Maybe you ought to read it " I figured I'd add something to the DU gender wars and how SOME women" Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #39

... this isn't "one of those" stories etherealtruth Jan 2014 #47

Oh I agree, but when you watch the level of vitriolic flung at me, by the usual suspects Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #52

There are lots of people with opinions who are not allowed to post on DU. cui bono Jan 2014 #153

You just decide to make things up now? "your opinion does not include treating women with respect." Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #164

I don't see how that's making anything up. JTFrog Jan 2014 #169

10! "I won't play the gender wars" geek tragedy Jan 2014 #49

I'd just like to state that for someone proclaiming to trash a thread justiceischeap Jan 2014 #115

On ignore you go Capt. Obvious Jan 2014 #30

Cool :) Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #44

Thank you for your concern YoungDemCA Jan 2014 #60

Do you know what 'trashing' a thread actually means? Matariki Jan 2014 #108

LOL, sure�..you've never been one to trash and not post another dozen times. I wish. bettyellen Jan 2014 #125

I have always gaspee Jan 2014 #3

Misogynists, homophobes, and transphobes abound on the internet once you Zorra Jan 2014 #5

even on progressive sites, they persist albeit in reduced numbers nt geek tragedy Jan 2014 #9

The blame-the-victim crowd is part of the problem. Cyberbullying kills geek tragedy Jan 2014 #12

This is true for unmoderated sites. ananda Jan 2014 #14

I am very careful with on-line stuff. HappyMe Jan 2014 #16

Interesting. nt redqueen Jan 2014 #19

How so? HappyMe Jan 2014 #21

That's me, too. Sissyk Jan 2014 #74

I'm careful about links too. HappyMe Jan 2014 #84

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2014 #24

This harassment also makes it harder for women to network cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #26

You are correct etherealtruth Jan 2014 #41

Yeah, I came across this article from some female friends justiceischeap Jan 2014 #54

Other than this site, I frequent gaming sites, such as IGN.com Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #33

Here's the thing - HappyMe Jan 2014 #51

Good point. Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #53

It probably is. HappyMe Jan 2014 #59

That's horrible. Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #62

Oh yes, there are big issues. HappyMe Jan 2014 #71

Catfish Blue_Adept Jan 2014 #72

I agree that most wouldn't say it IRL. The question is, why is it tolerated online? Gormy Cuss Jan 2014 #57

It makes me think that the people who wouldn't do this IRL justiceischeap Jan 2014 #58

I don't know why it's tolerated. HappyMe Jan 2014 #66

Very true. I've gotten into fights with family on FB that never would have happened IRL BarackTheVote Jan 2014 #73

Well said. HappyMe Jan 2014 #77

Here's the thing, the thoughts behind the "crap" are real. The fact that most of these creatures Egalitarian Thug Jan 2014 #93

My personal take: people will try to live up to the role online that they wish they had IRL LadyHawkAZ Jan 2014 #124

I've read something similar to that in ethnographies about online communities. Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #128

That's a good way to think of it LadyHawkAZ Jan 2014 #150

Is anyone welcome on the internet? Marr Jan 2014 #45

everyone is welcome ... etherealtruth Jan 2014 #50

The internet = people who hate people Initech Jan 2014 #82

Just to be clear, I welcome the participation of women closeupready Jan 2014 #68

Yeah but it's not about disagreeing, it's about how some people disagree justiceischeap Jan 2014 #70

And, the more this stuff is dismissed as harmless in 'anonymous' discussions geek tragedy Jan 2014 #76

I'm not dismissing The Onion's tweet, that WAS horrid justiceischeap Jan 2014 #87

maybe a combo of both. nt geek tragedy Jan 2014 #89

There's only one way this will ever be taken seriously by the cops Redfairen Jan 2014 #80

The body of a white, middle or upper class woman, preferably pretty. Egalitarian Thug Jan 2014 #94

or if a wall street CEO gets cyber-harassed. nt geek tragedy Jan 2014 #106

there are a lot of assholes on the internet RainDog Jan 2014 #85

Well said. GoneOffShore Jan 2014 #95

I can attest to that, and will leave it at that nadinbrzezinski Jan 2014 #90

I'd hate to be a teen today treestar Jan 2014 #97

Yeah it was rough CFLDem Jan 2014 #101

k&r Starry Messenger Jan 2014 #99

I find this article vaguely offensive. BarackTheVote Jan 2014 #100

wait, wut? geek tragedy Jan 2014 #105

There is no "vs." BarackTheVote Jan 2014 #109

Sounds like you're blaming women for the fact geek tragedy Jan 2014 #110

You and I were posting, basically the same thing, at the same time. justiceischeap Jan 2014 #112

very rarely is mine the less-snarky response. geek tragedy Jan 2014 #114

Do you have scientific data to prove the 72.5% figure is false justiceischeap Jan 2014 #111

The burden of proof is on the data-collector here, I feel. BarackTheVote Jan 2014 #131

Attacking and bullying aren't the same thing gollygee Jan 2014 #122

I absolutely concede to your point BarackTheVote Jan 2014 #129

72.5 of the incidents of harassment- so while you say "everyone gets harassed" women face it 3X bettyellen Jan 2014 #123

women don't get harrassed everywhere hfojvt Jan 2014 #152

I guess it depends on where one goes on the internets. Common Sense Party Jan 2014 #103

In the UK news today: Two guilty over abusive tweets to Caroline Criado-Perez muriel_volestrangler Jan 2014 #107

I'm guessing it was to fit in. That said, I know there are female cyberbullies justiceischeap Jan 2014 #113

probably a Mary Shelly fan RainDog Jan 2014 #116

Lizz Winstead talks to Raw Story about the creepy men who make the Internet a hellhole Oilwellian Jan 2014 #120

If so then it's primarily because of cowardly little shits who would never say such things in person nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #121

That's not okay. DirkGently Jan 2014 #132

these are, as the article notes, the same sorts of jerks RainDog Jan 2014 #143

I think you first call it out. DirkGently Jan 2014 #146

if you want to be a public figure, yes RainDog Jan 2014 #147

I think it also depends on the forum. Warren DeMontague Jan 2014 #155

yeah. my response was geared more toward professionals in the article RainDog Jan 2014 #156

I've been there, too. Warren DeMontague Jan 2014 #158

twitter... RainDog Jan 2014 #170

Women are allowed on the internet? Glassunion Jan 2014 #133

We sneak out of the kitchen justiceischeap Jan 2014 #135

Do you at least put shoes on? Glassunion Jan 2014 #136

Shoes are optional justiceischeap Jan 2014 #137

Wow! Glassunion Jan 2014 #138

I had my son do it. :) nt justiceischeap Jan 2014 #139

Amazing what y'all lil ladies come up with. Glassunion Jan 2014 #141

I'm on the internet right now1 !1 111!!... TeeYiYi Jan 2014 #151

omg! me too!! yuiyoshida Jan 2014 #154

A few posts here have mentioned anonymity as part of the problem. Jim Lane Jan 2014 #157

That could be a frightening concept for some people justiceischeap Jan 2014 #160

Actually on AC 360 the panel was talking about this davidpdx Jan 2014 #165

I'm reminded of the young woman who posted the book her mom got her on Reddit justiceischeap Jan 2014 #166