Just another ordinary day in paradise.

[davidthegnome]

6. There is limited help available.

On nights when the road conditions are terrible, I could possibly stay at the hotel, there is an employee discount... but I'd have to skip a car payment. Your suggestion is a good one, just really hard to afford.

A couple years ago I was in therapy - without insurance though, you have to pay out of pocket. The psychiatrist charged 350 dollars for a 45 minute session (up front), and had a waiting list of at least a couple months, being the only one in the area, as far as I know. There was a social worker, a nice guy, who charged about 40 dollars per weekly session, but I had to stop that as well as it became unaffordable.

I've applied for health insurance through our state program several times and been rejected - the letters generally informed me that I was not disabled, not poor enough, my household income was too high. Kind of like, "When your life sucks even more, apply again, maybe then we can do something." A little over 150 dollars a week pays for the car, this computer (my only real social outlet) and the gas to get to work. I might have to do without the computer soon - it's frustrating.

A positive perspective, a grateful attitude, a tendency towards optimism - my Father has all of these things and it is often his encouragement that keeps me going. Yet even he is struggling right now with payday loans taken out a year ago to help his children pay for college. He won't admit it, but he gave far more than he could and had to push his retirement back, when he has worked so hard, for so long already.

I don't want to ask my parents for more help than they already give, they provide me with a place to live, and food - and that is far more than many have. Perhaps the only real solution is to double my search effort for a second job, then I might be too busy to give any time or attention to my circumstances.

Writing and venting here at DU - and the advice and empathy of great people like yourself, does help to redeem my faith in humanity.