General Discussion

passiveporcupine

(8,175 posts)

19. I am so sorry, and I understand your rage

Wed Jan 15, 2014, 03:13 AM

Jan 2014

We need to find a way to stop this, but that means helping women take a stand and file a report to put people like this away. Too many women live in fear and need help to learn that they have value and don't have to accept a life like this...that they deserve more.

I've had two female friends who I helped, and who also needed police protection at times because of their exes. One was smart enough to leave (that is when she was in danger though)...and the other kept going back to him. No matter what I said she still kept saying "but he really loves me".

I was abused sexually and emotionally as a child, and I have never, nor will I ever let anyone abuse me as an adult. If I can't get through to these women...how does anyone.

I hope your sis's employee heals quickly and without any eye damage. And the woman...I don't know if she will ever really recover from this. I doubt it.

This is one of the worst stories of violence against a woman that I've read about. It just makes me sick.

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All day long I have been fuming about this and I am glad that I waited to post it. I COULD BURN [View all] roguevalley Jan 2014 OP

... Mnemosyne Jan 2014 #1

A most rightous rant. CaliforniaPeggy Jan 2014 #2

Post removed Post removed Jan 2014 #13

good point!! n/t tulsakatz Jan 2014 #33

Too bad a shitty jury hid it. nt awoke_in_2003 Jan 2014 #61

^^This^^ nt Fla Dem Jan 2014 #65

Indeed. tosh Jan 2014 #68

smh CFLDem Jan 2014 #83

I can't believe they hid it. cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #90

That is sick in itself, that a jury would hide that post. loudsue Jan 2014 #106

Post removed Post removed Jan 2014 #40

Sure. Because prison rape is a cause we should all support. HERVEPA Jan 2014 #79

You brought up rape. CFLDem Jan 2014 #80

Yeh, sure. HERVEPA Jan 2014 #81

I am of the position that hate and abuse for anyone means the same for everyone. roguevalley Jan 2014 #124

cutting off penises isn't a cause to be supported either. Whisp Jan 2014 #166

UPDATE: I will post this up and down the thread roguevalley Jan 2014 #266

Thanks for the update. Kaleva Jan 2014 #273

I have no words I can add to this. Thank you for posting it. nt kelly1mm Jan 2014 #3

^^ this pnwest Jan 2014 #21

No words. TDale313 Jan 2014 #4

i hug you all back and when something like this happens it reinforces my deepest conviction that I roguevalley Jan 2014 #5

You really are a lovely soul TDale313 Jan 2014 #11

How on earth . . . Brigid Jan 2014 #6

I don't want her to be alone tonight even in a small way. How alone must she feel? I don't know. roguevalley Jan 2014 #10

God, I wish this could really happen! hamsterjill Jan 2014 #46

sweet heaven irisblue Jan 2014 #7

Thank you. bravenak Jan 2014 #8

My god. This is terrible beyond words. cyberswede Jan 2014 #9

You are correct KT2000 Jan 2014 #12

Oh RV!!!!!!! tblue Jan 2014 #14

I will, tblue Hug your sister. She is a hero and so are you. I don't get it either but it has roguevalley Jan 2014 #16

Thank God Dorian Gray Jan 2014 #38

Good lord Egnever Jan 2014 #15

Healing vibes and good karma. raven mad Jan 2014 #17

And if some idiot dares post snivel about how it has nothing to do Tumbulu Jan 2014 #18

I agree with you, Tumbulu. All the way. Hugs to you tonight. roguevalley Jan 2014 #20

Bite my head off then, if this amounts to "snivel" Silent3 Jan 2014 #89

GIGO..... ohheckyeah Jan 2014 #98

Without good statistics on rates of various sorts of crimes... Silent3 Jan 2014 #101

I've looked at statistics and they consistently show that violence against other humans BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2014 #110

And who was denying most violent crime is committed by men? Silent3 Jan 2014 #113

my response was partly affected by how I felt about a different post BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2014 #119

Yes, and white men have higher stats. WCLinolVir Jan 2014 #196

yep, they sure do. and thats another truth you wont hear BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2014 #216

every 'sensational story' is a person's life. fifteen men raped a danish tourist yesterday in India roguevalley Jan 2014 #126

Sensationalism, or lack thereof, of course has nothing to do with the gravity... Silent3 Jan 2014 #137

This post is an "appeal to emotion" RainDog Jan 2014 #146

Really enjoying your posts enigmatic Jan 2014 #152

thanks! RainDog Jan 2014 #161

Yep. Unless you not only join in on the rending of garments, but leave it at that... Silent3 Jan 2014 #172

You were brave RainDog Jan 2014 #174

Some false equivalency here- WCLinolVir Jan 2014 #201

Interesting opinion RainDog Jan 2014 #203

Don't waste your breath trying to talk down to me. WCLinolVir Jan 2014 #206

You're entitled to your opinion RainDog Jan 2014 #207

Just to clarify-yes, you were talking down to me, WCLinolVir Jan 2014 #218

Agree. Waiting For Everyman Jan 2014 #233

I guess its a matter of perspective. I have been female all my life. I have experienced stuff all my roguevalley Jan 2014 #208

I'm a woman RainDog Jan 2014 #211

Well said! nt Tumbulu Jan 2014 #120

consider this then. If a child raised in abuse has an increased possibility of abusing, if an roguevalley Jan 2014 #125

If we were to follow the pattern you established with smoking and drinking... Silent3 Jan 2014 #139

Easy to ignore the values inherent in such behavior. WCLinolVir Jan 2014 #202

Another feature of pychology is the gathering of evidence Silent3 Jan 2014 #213

A gathering of evidence RainDog Jan 2014 #232

I wish him harm get the red out Jan 2014 #100

Violence against women isn't about eroticism Android3.14 Jan 2014 #122

Well then why are they eroticising it? Tumbulu Jan 2014 #190

I don't disagree at all that violent porn liberalhistorian Jan 2014 #189

I am so sorry, and I understand your rage passiveporcupine Jan 2014 #19

Oh, Rogue, I am SO sorry to read this. Blue_In_AK Jan 2014 #22

God Blue, what is happening to us? It feels like war sometimes. Its like she was annihilated. All roguevalley Jan 2014 #23

He's pathetic. Blue_In_AK Jan 2014 #24

There have been letters of people who would get really cheap health care but for him. They are mad. roguevalley Jan 2014 #27

Everything he does makes me mad. Blue_In_AK Jan 2014 #28

If we do, Blue In AK, we deserve what we get. raven mad Jan 2014 #42

that is an idea, raven. Never underestimate the power of your loving intention. Those are prayers roguevalley Jan 2014 #127

I'm new, but feel like I know you! raven mad Jan 2014 #43

That's the gods' honest truth. Blue_In_AK Jan 2014 #72

And welcome to DU, Raven. Blue_In_AK Jan 2014 #74

yes, welcome raven. I hug you. roguevalley Jan 2014 #130

I hate to say it nadinbrzezinski Jan 2014 #25

The lack of respect for civil behavior doesn't help. And Machismo is far too admired. SleeplessinSoCal Jan 2014 #26

Good points! nt Tumbulu Jan 2014 #191

K&R DeSwiss Jan 2014 #29

screw pressing charges. good for alaska. the victim IS the evidence. period. pansypoo53219 Jan 2014 #30

How awful. oldandhappy Jan 2014 #31

Nightmareish cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #32

amen. thank you for saying it so plain. bbgrunt Jan 2014 #34

Where does somebody get the idea that they can Waiting For Everyman Jan 2014 #35

Patriarchy/Sexism plus alcohol/alcoholism is a dangerous combination. stevenleser Jan 2014 #36

Holy cow Dorian Gray Jan 2014 #37

Some people are just sociopaths. athena Jan 2014 #45

4% of people are sociopaths leftyladyfrommo Jan 2014 #47

I agree. athena Jan 2014 #48

Some of those really violent psychopaths have had normal childhoods. leftyladyfrommo Jan 2014 #50

But these types around my part of the Tumbulu Jan 2014 #194

Maybe you're right Dorian Gray Jan 2014 #91

I just read a book. athena Jan 2014 #95

My heart goes out to these victims. I hope they`re surrounded by love and support. democrank Jan 2014 #39

Truth. K&R nt TBF Jan 2014 #41

The tell tale signs .... Lurker Deluxe Jan 2014 #44

no words. PeaceNikki Jan 2014 #49

Monster - glad he is off the street lunasun Jan 2014 #51

Oh my God. In Michigan,the abused person does sufrommich Jan 2014 #52

California too. Hopefully very soon, all states truedelphi Jan 2014 #182

Thank You..! KoKo Jan 2014 #53

This: CrispyQ Jan 2014 #54

how is your sister's coworker? G_j Jan 2014 #55

he had to take off work two days because his face is a pumpkin. It hurt to look at him. roguevalley Jan 2014 #209

It's just not right G_j Jan 2014 #234

I felt the same way when I saw this on the news yesterday. redqueen Jan 2014 #56

Gloria Steinem said that the most dangerous place for a woman leftyladyfrommo Jan 2014 #63

It can't continue like this. nt redqueen Jan 2014 #92

I have been trying to think of words to say.... defacto7 Jan 2014 #133

There really aren't words davidthegnome Jan 2014 #57

Domestic violence isn't a crime connected to sufrommich Jan 2014 #59

I see poverty as more of a symptom davidthegnome Jan 2014 #60

Yep... awoke_in_2003 Jan 2014 #62

all of the men of my life are my heroes. You are a good man. You don't have to say anything roguevalley Jan 2014 #132

Thank you for your beautiful post Tumbulu Jan 2014 #197

He beat the shit out of a GUY too B2G Jan 2014 #58

agreed. Mindless violence is sick and sad for us all. roguevalley Jan 2014 #210

I've said it before and I'm going to say it again�. BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2014 #64

I don't know where to begin to cry bullshit on this post Doctor_J Jan 2014 #66

That is really inappropriate. Waiting For Everyman Jan 2014 #67

This message was self-deleted by its author stg81 Jan 2014 #78

I'll tell you where to begin to "cry bs." Don't. Simply don't go there. magical thyme Jan 2014 #96

Good God. Do you hear yourself? Squinch Jan 2014 #102

you get SELF DEFENSIVE at this? BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2014 #107

So as long as no one blames YOUR penis... BrotherIvan Jan 2014 #108

why don't you delete this post? RainDog Jan 2014 #171

I think I'll let it stand BrotherIvan Jan 2014 #184

I don't think you see things as they are RainDog Jan 2014 #186

Excellently stated. polly7 Jan 2014 #188

This message was self-deleted by its author Generic Other Jan 2014 #121

The ROFL is part of the posters sig n/t LadyHawkAZ Jan 2014 #123

Sorry I had an emotional reaction to an emoticon. Generic Other Jan 2014 #185

be a woman and grow up looking over your shoulder. You might get it. roguevalley Jan 2014 #135

Well thank goodness you got that out of your system Scootaloo Jan 2014 #159

UPDATE: I am posting it up and down the thread roguevalley Jan 2014 #267

for posterity: geek tragedy Jan 2014 #278

When I worked in 840high Jan 2014 #69

All too common Tumbulu Jan 2014 #198

Many, many other women also living in terror me b zola Jan 2014 #70

So horrific amuse bouche Jan 2014 #71

Amen... Unca Jim Jan 2014 #73

This is a newsworthy story, but I need the link Android3.14 Jan 2014 #75

Are you under the impression that domestic violence sufrommich Jan 2014 #77

A case in which someone is held under boiling water and made to drink it would likely hit the wire Orrex Jan 2014 #85

This one would be top news, probably even national news Android3.14 Jan 2014 #87

Presumably it would show up on the local paper's webpage at least Orrex Jan 2014 #88

This message was self-deleted by its author Android3.14 Jan 2014 #115

no mention in the newspaper yet. I did hear the radio report the arrests and the woman was injured. roguevalley Jan 2014 #214

What paper is it? A-Schwarzenegger Jan 2014 #229

google soldotna online radio. That should get it for you. I hadn't thought roguevalley Jan 2014 #275

Yes, I found it last night & posted it. A-Schwarzenegger Jan 2014 #276

So very sadly true nt Tumbulu Jan 2014 #199

right now, this is low key here. I only know because I am close to one of the victims roguevalley Jan 2014 #212

Thank you for caring marions ghost Jan 2014 #76

Rec'd for visibility. You said it all. I cannot add. WTFFFFFFFF indeed. mwooldri Jan 2014 #82

All I can say is wow! And I am sorry Lifelong Protester Jan 2014 #84

a most truly righteous rant. k and r niyad Jan 2014 #86

I bet this Thug would claim he's religious too. Spitfire of ATJ Jan 2014 #93

The stupidest thing I've read in a longtime. Omnith Jan 2014 #144

Welcome to DU!!! Spitfire of ATJ Jan 2014 #153

Thanks, but I've been here a while. Omnith Jan 2014 #157

Yeah it was really out of nowhere wasn't it? Union Scribe Jan 2014 #261

I feel this way when I allow myself to think about it. cry baby Jan 2014 #94

... magical thyme Jan 2014 #97

Reading this makes me so angry get the red out Jan 2014 #99

I'm with you BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2014 #109

"this is far below the level of any dog" CrispyQ Jan 2014 #277

Incredible vicious cruelty.?? I don't know.. Stuart G Jan 2014 #103

The deliberate starvation in Nigeria was in Biafra, I think Art_from_Ark Jan 2014 #271

Oh, roguevalley, this is so hard to hear. Squinch Jan 2014 #104

OMG! mecherosegarden Jan 2014 #105

glad the guy was arrested. hope he gets a long sentence Liberal_in_LA Jan 2014 #111

rape and abuse is not a "male pass time" anymore than prostitution is a female pass time. NM_Birder Jan 2014 #112

IN your last paragraph, the excellent point you make - truedelphi Jan 2014 #181

Wow! I witnessed a lot of domestic abuse when I lived in the Northwest. I wonder if Alaska has the Cleita Jan 2014 #114

winter doesn't help 5-6 hours of daylight for weeks on end takes a toll for some. roguevalley Jan 2014 #215

Could you provide the name of the town? Android3.14 Jan 2014 #116

You are in the news business and don't understand that a lot of stuff does not make the newspaper? seaglass Jan 2014 #131

This horrific story ought to get national exposure. Kaleva Jan 2014 #140

It's up to the people involved isn't it? Not everyone wants to be exposed to media attention. n/t seaglass Jan 2014 #142

With crimes up to simple assault or battery I might agree. Not attempted murder. stevenleser Jan 2014 #145

I don't know steven, I think the victims have a right to their privacy if they want it. n/t seaglass Jan 2014 #154

Ethical reporting Android3.14 Jan 2014 #156

In the spirit of ethical behavior cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #265

I agree. If OP can PM me some details, I will definitely do that. stevenleser Jan 2014 #143

I hope she reponds to you Kaleva Jan 2014 #165

It is a mystery why this hideous story is not everywhere already. A-Schwarzenegger Jan 2014 #168

True if this guy was family or friend of Local's with power... KoKo Jan 2014 #150

It's important Android3.14 Jan 2014 #155

I live in a small town with a paper that reports police cases once a week. I only know this because roguevalley Jan 2014 #219

I am going to update when the news is made. It isn't so far. The town is my own. I will give the roguevalley Jan 2014 #217

Our clothing has nothing to do with causing abusers to abuse LadyHawkAZ Jan 2014 #117

This is true. I went to Catholic school and worked at a Catholic hospital. Cleita Jan 2014 #118

that wasn't the point. It is the accumulated imagery that makes ten year olds I taught school roguevalley Jan 2014 #220

Edited: Is there anyway we can follow this to check on progress of victims? Is it in the news? stevenleser Jan 2014 #128

It's been my experience that police and other agencies do not report to Cleita Jan 2014 #134

Good to know. Will update my comment. nt stevenleser Jan 2014 #138

It's been my experience Android3.14 Jan 2014 #173

It isn't more than reported as an arrest with injury. when there is more news I will post it. roguevalley Jan 2014 #221

UPDATE: Check Soldotna on the news online broadcasts. They are starting to roguevalley Jan 2014 #268

Thanks for the update. Will check for the news reports. I will talk about this on my radio show. stevenleser Jan 2014 #281

yes. bless your heart. I did. Thank you. Take care. roguevalley Jan 2014 #285

Here is the link to my post about the show where I discuss this stevenleser Jan 2014 #293

thank you. I will go there. I am at the hospital having lunch. My niece works roguevalley Jan 2014 #295

Please post a reminder here in GD on Sunday for your show Kaleva Jan 2014 #286

Yes, I definitely will. nt stevenleser Jan 2014 #292

HEre you are! stevenleser Jan 2014 #294

I also looked up the damage that scalding water does to skin. stevenleser Jan 2014 #282

I know. I scalded my knee once and couldn't straighten it again for a long roguevalley Jan 2014 #284

I am so shaken by cntrygrl Jan 2014 #129

Horrific story rv, so sad for the victims. n/t seaglass Jan 2014 #136

I cry for humanity... defacto7 Jan 2014 #141

"she is so damaged that she won't press charges" A-Schwarzenegger Jan 2014 #147

After reading again... A-Schwarzenegger Jan 2014 #163

He's being deluged with charges. My boy told me about it and there will be more. I will roguevalley Jan 2014 #223

I hope he goes to prison for a long, long time lapislzi Jan 2014 #248

See post #231 below for a couple reports. A-Schwarzenegger Jan 2014 #260

update for your questions: He was arrested for both. Charges roguevalley Jan 2014 #279

Another question Android3.14 Jan 2014 #148

she answered the door in her condition. I am sorry for your burns. Burns are the worst. roguevalley Jan 2014 #224

WTF??? Lithos Jan 2014 #149

The story in the OP made me sick to my stomach Gothmog Jan 2014 #151

I don't know what to think... ScreamingMeemie Jan 2014 #158

your son sounds like a fine youngster from a good family. so are the men in my roguevalley Jan 2014 #225

I have no words Stargazer09 Jan 2014 #160

Violent criminals commit violent crimes. 99Forever Jan 2014 #162

but but 'both sides do it!'... Whisp Jan 2014 #164

And another question Android3.14 Jan 2014 #167

I hope it is not true. A-Schwarzenegger Jan 2014 #169

Don't worry. Sheldon Cooper Jan 2014 #175

I hope it is a fabrication as well Android3.14 Jan 2014 #176

This is a longstanding DUer... which is why I like to give the benefit of the doubt. ScreamingMeemie Jan 2014 #178

I simply hope it is not true. A-Schwarzenegger Jan 2014 #179

Android, you have the option of skipping the post or not believing. Your assertions against roguevalley Jan 2014 #227

Waiting for your public apology to roguevalley. Sheldon Cooper Jan 2014 #247

So, 11 hours after one of the most deliciously EPIC fails I've ever seen, you still haven't Sheldon Cooper Jan 2014 #258

my wonderful sheldon cooper, he has and told me i could post it. roguevalley Jan 2014 #272

Thank you, RV redqueen Jan 2014 #280

Yes and it all takes time. Third degree burns happen rather rapidly. WCLinolVir Jan 2014 #204

actually, this happened in his home. I am not concerned about your belief. I was told roguevalley Jan 2014 #226

Sounds like a rant platform. NM_Birder Jan 2014 #244

Post #231 has the news report. nt sufrommich Jan 2014 #245

I agree with you completely TNNurse Jan 2014 #170

And I thought I was the only one who felt that way. Brigid Jan 2014 #254

I am 64 TNNurse Jan 2014 #283

Horrific! BellaKos Jan 2014 #177

I'm sorry I think singling out the "male" fact is irrelevant here jimlup Jan 2014 #180

Post removed Post removed Jan 2014 #183

I'm a white gal living on an Indian reservation liberalhistorian Jan 2014 #187

I'm so glad you brought that up RainDog Jan 2014 #192

They do, indeed, face some of the bleakest situations in the nation, liberalhistorian Jan 2014 #195

Yes. Violence against women correlates with minority status RainDog Jan 2014 #200

Sadly not surprised. n/t freshwest Jan 2014 #193

What is wrong, indeed... MrMickeysMom Jan 2014 #205

It is all I hope for MrMickeysMom. All of our children are vulnerable. roguevalley Jan 2014 #228

Horrific !!! Tigerram Jan 2014 #222

I think an extreme and rapid climate shift or giant meteorite will kill us first...n/t shedevil69taz Jan 2014 #230

Here are 2 News Reports on it. A-Schwarzenegger Jan 2014 #231

And already some asshole makes a nasty attack on the victim. I know the female seaglass Jan 2014 #237

This. One commenter writes" what would you do sufrommich Jan 2014 #239

Sadly they won't cause if anything they invite the trolling :( Locut0s Jan 2014 #274

Thank you. stevenleser Jan 2014 #238

Court case details stevenleser Jan 2014 #250

Potential jail time seems to be 20 years if concurrent and 40 if consecutive stevenleser Jan 2014 #253

This is much less about a hyper sexualized culture and more about a hyper violent culture... Locut0s Jan 2014 #235

Shamelessness for its own sake is not a virtue. Waiting For Everyman Jan 2014 #236

I agree RainDog Jan 2014 #243

You cover a number of points very well Waiting For Everyman Jan 2014 #259

UPDATE: I am posting it up and down the thread roguevalley Jan 2014 #269

+1 btrflykng9 Feb 2014 #296

I hope everyone who came into this thread to derail it sufrommich Jan 2014 #240

It is interesting to me that this particular story was challenged. n/t seaglass Jan 2014 #241

Interesting isn't the word that comes to my mind. nt sufrommich Jan 2014 #242

Predictable? Maybe that is better. Hopefully at least one DUer is very ashamed this morning. n/t seaglass Jan 2014 #249

Tragically, it is utterly predictable. redqueen Jan 2014 #262

This message was self-deleted by its author Sheldon Cooper Jan 2014 #246

I will admit that I had doubts AngryAmish Jan 2014 #251

There is nothing wrong with having doubts. It is the internet after all. I think what matters is seaglass Jan 2014 #291

Agreed. Bobbie Jo Jan 2014 #255

I agree. I'm shocked that happened in this thread. Waiting For Everyman Jan 2014 #256

I agree. athena Jan 2014 #263

I feel the exact same way. cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #290

You should update your post to include the press reports sufrommich Jan 2014 #252

Two recent rape cases got national attention because of the internet Kaleva Jan 2014 #257

I say forget them. nt redqueen Jan 2014 #264

UPDATE: I will, sufrommich. you can also get soldotna news online radio to roguevalley Jan 2014 #270

Thank you for the update,roguevalley.What a horrendous sufrommich Jan 2014 #289

roguevalley--if you hear of anything being done for this woman, like donations, or a fund, msanthrope Jan 2014 #287

it would be my honor to do that. roguevalley Jan 2014 #288